figure right now my best option is to pretend I have.
His jaw drops. My heart rips a little further. It’s bad. More than once? Many times? I’m confused as to why he still wants me.
“Yeah. That’s what I thought.” I run up my porch steps and push open the front door.
“Ziah, please…”
“What? What else do you want from me, James?” You’ve already crushed me. There’s nothing left.
“She was drunk, Ziah. And you don’t pull on me like that anymore. Like you really want me. I knew it was stupid. And it was just one time. I swear. When I was dropping her off.”
Oh. Right. The night of the party; I really should have put that one together.
I spin to face him, keeping the now half-closed door between us. She pulled on him. Her. On him. He kissed her. I knew half this already, but now I have something to formulate a picture, and it kills me.
“I don’t want to talk to you, James. I don’t love you enough to stay together, and I’m trying to decide if I even like you enough to stay friends.” I slam the door in his face and cry because this should have never happened.
And then I cry because James and Ziah are no longer, and because my sister hasn’t even asked. It’s been more than a week, and she hasn’t asked where he’s been or how we are. And then I cry even more because I want to talk to Alyssa. I miss her.
I’m so stupid.
Why the hell would anyone want to be in love? Why would anyone want to be married?
I’m in my empty house, and I pace as tears stream down my face. What do I do? It’s not even like I have anyone I can talk to. My phone beeps.
ALYSSA: WE NEED TO TALK.
Oh. Right. James must have called her. This sucks. Now I’m ready to just—
A knock at the door makes me jump.
Crap. Who…? Oh no. Dread sinks further. Dylan. Stupid wedding location number one, and I forgot.
I take a few deep breaths, but my throat is still ten times its normal size and my cheeks are wet from tears. My hands swipe my face over and over as I pull open the door. Dylan’s eyes widen when he sees me. I must look really bad.
“Look.” But the word comes out all whiny and just talking makes my body want to cry again. I fan my face, but it doesn’t help. “Not a good time. Please. I’m sorry.”
“Holy… Ziah. What happened?”
I shake my head. Being humiliated at my own house alone is bad enough, but in front of Dylan? A million times worse. He’s one of the untouchable guys. Well…for a girl like me. The fact that we’re forced to be around each other doesn’t mean someone like him would ever choose to be here.
“Is anybody home?” He looks over my shoulder, probably hoping he can get an easy escape. That someone’s here to help the ridiculous crying girl.
I start to say no but just shake my head. My breath is coming in these weird, gaspy chokes, and I can’t seem to make it stop.
He waits a second and then his face changes. Like he’s determined. “Get your ass out here. You don’t have to talk. Let’s just… Mary makes everything better.” He smirks, but he looks like he’s really trying hard.
I’m such a loser idiot.
I let him take my hand and lead me to his car. I even climb in without giving him any crap over driving such a ridiculous vehicle, and then I realize I’m in long running shorts and probably smell.
Dylan gets in, turns to face me, and settles lower in the seat. “Wanna talk or whatever? Or no?” His words sound almost painful. This has to be a million miles from what he’d normally do.
“Lora didn’t even see.” Tears start running down my face again as I stare out his windshield “She knows me better than anyone, and she didn’t even see.”
“Sorry, Ziah. For whatever.”
I shake my head.
“Can I take you to a friend’s house or something?”
And then I shake in a sob, one I hope I can keep from turning into more. “No. She’s… This sucks so bad, I can’t even say it.” My body’s doing this weird quivering thing, and I pull
His jaw drops. My heart rips a little further. It’s bad. More than once? Many times? I’m confused as to why he still wants me.
“Yeah. That’s what I thought.” I run up my porch steps and push open the front door.
“Ziah, please…”
“What? What else do you want from me, James?” You’ve already crushed me. There’s nothing left.
“She was drunk, Ziah. And you don’t pull on me like that anymore. Like you really want me. I knew it was stupid. And it was just one time. I swear. When I was dropping her off.”
Oh. Right. The night of the party; I really should have put that one together.
I spin to face him, keeping the now half-closed door between us. She pulled on him. Her. On him. He kissed her. I knew half this already, but now I have something to formulate a picture, and it kills me.
“I don’t want to talk to you, James. I don’t love you enough to stay together, and I’m trying to decide if I even like you enough to stay friends.” I slam the door in his face and cry because this should have never happened.
And then I cry because James and Ziah are no longer, and because my sister hasn’t even asked. It’s been more than a week, and she hasn’t asked where he’s been or how we are. And then I cry even more because I want to talk to Alyssa. I miss her.
I’m so stupid.
Why the hell would anyone want to be in love? Why would anyone want to be married?
I’m in my empty house, and I pace as tears stream down my face. What do I do? It’s not even like I have anyone I can talk to. My phone beeps.
ALYSSA: WE NEED TO TALK.
Oh. Right. James must have called her. This sucks. Now I’m ready to just—
A knock at the door makes me jump.
Crap. Who…? Oh no. Dread sinks further. Dylan. Stupid wedding location number one, and I forgot.
I take a few deep breaths, but my throat is still ten times its normal size and my cheeks are wet from tears. My hands swipe my face over and over as I pull open the door. Dylan’s eyes widen when he sees me. I must look really bad.
“Look.” But the word comes out all whiny and just talking makes my body want to cry again. I fan my face, but it doesn’t help. “Not a good time. Please. I’m sorry.”
“Holy… Ziah. What happened?”
I shake my head. Being humiliated at my own house alone is bad enough, but in front of Dylan? A million times worse. He’s one of the untouchable guys. Well…for a girl like me. The fact that we’re forced to be around each other doesn’t mean someone like him would ever choose to be here.
“Is anybody home?” He looks over my shoulder, probably hoping he can get an easy escape. That someone’s here to help the ridiculous crying girl.
I start to say no but just shake my head. My breath is coming in these weird, gaspy chokes, and I can’t seem to make it stop.
He waits a second and then his face changes. Like he’s determined. “Get your ass out here. You don’t have to talk. Let’s just… Mary makes everything better.” He smirks, but he looks like he’s really trying hard.
I’m such a loser idiot.
I let him take my hand and lead me to his car. I even climb in without giving him any crap over driving such a ridiculous vehicle, and then I realize I’m in long running shorts and probably smell.
Dylan gets in, turns to face me, and settles lower in the seat. “Wanna talk or whatever? Or no?” His words sound almost painful. This has to be a million miles from what he’d normally do.
“Lora didn’t even see.” Tears start running down my face again as I stare out his windshield “She knows me better than anyone, and she didn’t even see.”
“Sorry, Ziah. For whatever.”
I shake my head.
“Can I take you to a friend’s house or something?”
And then I shake in a sob, one I hope I can keep from turning into more. “No. She’s… This sucks so bad, I can’t even say it.” My body’s doing this weird quivering thing, and I pull
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