, friendship, is a love not just an association,” her attention moved from me and back to Eli, “and Agape is not based on a sense of obligation.”
Little did she know that this was not her first lesson to me about the difference between love and sex. I’m not a complete idiot. I always knew that there is a difference between a mindless fuck and a “soul mate” – if I ignore my questions about whether the latter exists at all. What I did not know was Eros . What I did not know was how enticing she could make that concept when I least expected it. Next to the allure of Eros with Charlotte, Philia sounded like a consolation prize.
Eli sighed. “You’re impossible,” he responded to Charlotte before turning his back to us and busying himself at the stove.
Charlotte had a slight grin at this resignation.
“Not sure you can call that a win,” I told her.
“What? He gave in. Hence, I win,” she responded.
“Whatever you say, sweetheart.”
The moment the words left my lips, I could see Charlotte’s smile completely disappear and the color visibly drain from her face. Those mesmerizing brow irises were quickly being engulfed by black pupils. I swear I could hear her heartbeat quicken. What just happened?
Looking over to the kitchen for some explanation of what the heck was going on, I found Eli with his back still turned, blissfully unaware of the reaction I had elicited from his baby sister. Alex, however, had stopped her prep work and was watching Charlotte’s reaction vigilantly.
The sound of desperate, frantic breaths filled my ears, and a moment later, Charlotte bolted down the hall and closed herself in the bathroom. Alex met my eyes, and then looked back to Eli. Swiftly, she tossed a container of parmesan cheese that sat in front of her into the trash.
“Babe, I guess we didn’t have parmesan,” she said, rummaging through the refrigerator. “Can you run to the store and get some?”
Begrudgingly rinsing his hands and moving to grab his shoes, he suddenly noticed Charlotte’s absence. “Where did Char go?”
“Bathroom,” Alex responded without missing a beat.
He nodded, pulling on his shoes. As he moved to the door, Alex met my eyes and nudged her head in the direction where Charlotte had just disappeared. Her message was clear: Go after her!
I couldn’t go yet, not without some idea what I was walking into. Once Eli disappeared, I walked over to Alex in the kitchen. “What the hell just happened?”
She just shook her head sadly. “Panic attack. I have no clue what set it off, but I’ve seen her have one before. Whatever it was, it was between the two of you, so I think you should go check on her.”
I couldn’t agree less. In fact, since I had somehow triggered her, I felt I was the last person that should go after her; particularly when I felt so stricken by the fact that I had scared her somehow.
Alex, noting my lack of response or action, continued. “Look, you seem to want to have some sort of relationship or friendship or something with her besides just being her roommate. Char is letting you in, she usually doesn’t. If you don’t show her that you had no intention of scaring her – which I know you didn’t – she is going to close you off because it will be easier.”
I did not want Charlotte to close me out. In fact, the thought sent fear lancing through me, so I went to find her.
Huddled on the bathroom floor, I tried to fight off the panic taking hold of me. The room was spinning like a wicked merry-go-round. A cold sweat coated my skin, and my lungs were clamped tightly, forcing me to fight against them to get any air in at all.
A voice, full of malice, whispered in my mind, making my blood run cold. “ See, sweetheart? Your job is to please me. I’ll do whatever the hell I want with you. You want to act like a whore? I’ll fucking treat you like the whore that you are.”
I could feel his hand clamped tightly around my neck, his body restraining
Little did she know that this was not her first lesson to me about the difference between love and sex. I’m not a complete idiot. I always knew that there is a difference between a mindless fuck and a “soul mate” – if I ignore my questions about whether the latter exists at all. What I did not know was Eros . What I did not know was how enticing she could make that concept when I least expected it. Next to the allure of Eros with Charlotte, Philia sounded like a consolation prize.
Eli sighed. “You’re impossible,” he responded to Charlotte before turning his back to us and busying himself at the stove.
Charlotte had a slight grin at this resignation.
“Not sure you can call that a win,” I told her.
“What? He gave in. Hence, I win,” she responded.
“Whatever you say, sweetheart.”
The moment the words left my lips, I could see Charlotte’s smile completely disappear and the color visibly drain from her face. Those mesmerizing brow irises were quickly being engulfed by black pupils. I swear I could hear her heartbeat quicken. What just happened?
Looking over to the kitchen for some explanation of what the heck was going on, I found Eli with his back still turned, blissfully unaware of the reaction I had elicited from his baby sister. Alex, however, had stopped her prep work and was watching Charlotte’s reaction vigilantly.
The sound of desperate, frantic breaths filled my ears, and a moment later, Charlotte bolted down the hall and closed herself in the bathroom. Alex met my eyes, and then looked back to Eli. Swiftly, she tossed a container of parmesan cheese that sat in front of her into the trash.
“Babe, I guess we didn’t have parmesan,” she said, rummaging through the refrigerator. “Can you run to the store and get some?”
Begrudgingly rinsing his hands and moving to grab his shoes, he suddenly noticed Charlotte’s absence. “Where did Char go?”
“Bathroom,” Alex responded without missing a beat.
He nodded, pulling on his shoes. As he moved to the door, Alex met my eyes and nudged her head in the direction where Charlotte had just disappeared. Her message was clear: Go after her!
I couldn’t go yet, not without some idea what I was walking into. Once Eli disappeared, I walked over to Alex in the kitchen. “What the hell just happened?”
She just shook her head sadly. “Panic attack. I have no clue what set it off, but I’ve seen her have one before. Whatever it was, it was between the two of you, so I think you should go check on her.”
I couldn’t agree less. In fact, since I had somehow triggered her, I felt I was the last person that should go after her; particularly when I felt so stricken by the fact that I had scared her somehow.
Alex, noting my lack of response or action, continued. “Look, you seem to want to have some sort of relationship or friendship or something with her besides just being her roommate. Char is letting you in, she usually doesn’t. If you don’t show her that you had no intention of scaring her – which I know you didn’t – she is going to close you off because it will be easier.”
I did not want Charlotte to close me out. In fact, the thought sent fear lancing through me, so I went to find her.
Huddled on the bathroom floor, I tried to fight off the panic taking hold of me. The room was spinning like a wicked merry-go-round. A cold sweat coated my skin, and my lungs were clamped tightly, forcing me to fight against them to get any air in at all.
A voice, full of malice, whispered in my mind, making my blood run cold. “ See, sweetheart? Your job is to please me. I’ll do whatever the hell I want with you. You want to act like a whore? I’ll fucking treat you like the whore that you are.”
I could feel his hand clamped tightly around my neck, his body restraining
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