Read Online Discipline by Chris Owen, Jodi Payne - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Chris Owen, Jodi Payne
Tags: General Fiction
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"What?"
Tobias reached for Noah. "I won't give you up. I won't leave you, and you're mine, do you hear me? I love you. I am not choosing Phantom over you, I won't." He was growling by the end, desperate to reassure Noah, to keep him from leaving. The boy had to believe him.
Noah stepped backward before Tobias could touch him. "Why are we talking about you taking Phan in?"
Tobias stepped forward, keeping the distance the same. "We're not. I'm not taking him home."
Noah looked into his eyes. "It's not all right with me. Don't even consider it, Tobias."
"I just said I'm not, Noah. I won't." Tobias stared into the eyes he seldom got to see. "I won't," he said softly. He felt the burn at the back of his nose and turned his head before Noah could see the tears.
He could feel Noah's eyes on his back, and Bradford's too. No one spoke for a bit, until Bradford finally broke the silence. "You've heard him Noah, he's reassured you several times,hm ? Be a good boy and kneel for him again."
Tobias didn't need to turn around to feel the look that passed between them, but he heard Noah go to his knees.
"Tobias." Bradford handed him his drink. "Why don't we wait for the doctor and talk more about this later?"
Tobias nodded and looked at the glass, finally setting it down on a shelf. "Thanks, but no," he said quietly. "For the drink, I mean. Of course I'll wait to hear what the doctor says, but then we'll be going. I don't think I should see Phan tonight." He moved to one of the visitor's chairs and sat, staring at the floor as he waited for the doctor.
Noah moved to Tobias' chair and knelt in front of it, then wordlessly, he leaned into Tobias' lap.
Bradford cleared his throat. "I'll go check on Dr. Brewer," he said, neatly excusing himself from the room.
As soon as the door closed Tobias opened his arms and reached for Noah. "Come here," he said softly, pulling him into his lap. "I love you, Noah. Only you. Do you understand that?"
Noah started to nod and then sighed. "Only me? Are you sure? Are you absolutely sure? Because I don't think Phan is." Noah's insecurity was plainly evident in his question.
"I care about him. I love him on some level, I suppose, but as one does an old and special friend. I feel responsible for him. I worry about him. But you are my heart. My life. My boy. I love you passionately.
You are my first priority, my first responsibility, my lover. Does that help?"
"It... helps. Yes. You want to know what I have nightmares about?" Noah asked, rhetorically. "That once Phan learns that he doesn't need the pain, there won't be anything standing between the two of you anymore... but me."
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Tobias pulled Noah closer to him and kissed his temple. "It's not going to happen," Tobias said, enunciating every word. "Phan and I have ties, yes. We've been over this, Noah. Phan and I split up over more than the pain, though that was at the root. We... we aren't right together that way. You and I are.
You are not second choice for me, Noah Dolan -- you're the only choice. What can I do to prove that to you? What can I do to make you secure in that?"
Noah shook his head. "You can't. I just have to believe it. And I do. I do. Just nights like this and talk like... well, I hadn't expected it, and it threw me." Noah kissed Tobias' neck and sighed. "So, are you all right?" Noah asked, deftly changing the subject. "You've got a horrid temper tonight. I've never seen you and Master Bradford argue like that."
"I'm... I'm not doing so well, no," Tobias said with a grimace. "At least with Deidre I can send flowers; I hate to think what Bradford is going to make me do." He sighed and nuzzled Noah for a moment. "I don't know what's going to happen or how to help, pet, and that's killing me."
"You're not in control of this, I get that." Noah nodded. "But Phan likes Dr. Brewer, she'll help him."
"I hope so," Tobias said. "We'll just have to wait and
Tobias reached for Noah. "I won't give you up. I won't leave you, and you're mine, do you hear me? I love you. I am not choosing Phantom over you, I won't." He was growling by the end, desperate to reassure Noah, to keep him from leaving. The boy had to believe him.
Noah stepped backward before Tobias could touch him. "Why are we talking about you taking Phan in?"
Tobias stepped forward, keeping the distance the same. "We're not. I'm not taking him home."
Noah looked into his eyes. "It's not all right with me. Don't even consider it, Tobias."
"I just said I'm not, Noah. I won't." Tobias stared into the eyes he seldom got to see. "I won't," he said softly. He felt the burn at the back of his nose and turned his head before Noah could see the tears.
He could feel Noah's eyes on his back, and Bradford's too. No one spoke for a bit, until Bradford finally broke the silence. "You've heard him Noah, he's reassured you several times,hm ? Be a good boy and kneel for him again."
Tobias didn't need to turn around to feel the look that passed between them, but he heard Noah go to his knees.
"Tobias." Bradford handed him his drink. "Why don't we wait for the doctor and talk more about this later?"
Tobias nodded and looked at the glass, finally setting it down on a shelf. "Thanks, but no," he said quietly. "For the drink, I mean. Of course I'll wait to hear what the doctor says, but then we'll be going. I don't think I should see Phan tonight." He moved to one of the visitor's chairs and sat, staring at the floor as he waited for the doctor.
Noah moved to Tobias' chair and knelt in front of it, then wordlessly, he leaned into Tobias' lap.
Bradford cleared his throat. "I'll go check on Dr. Brewer," he said, neatly excusing himself from the room.
As soon as the door closed Tobias opened his arms and reached for Noah. "Come here," he said softly, pulling him into his lap. "I love you, Noah. Only you. Do you understand that?"
Noah started to nod and then sighed. "Only me? Are you sure? Are you absolutely sure? Because I don't think Phan is." Noah's insecurity was plainly evident in his question.
"I care about him. I love him on some level, I suppose, but as one does an old and special friend. I feel responsible for him. I worry about him. But you are my heart. My life. My boy. I love you passionately.
You are my first priority, my first responsibility, my lover. Does that help?"
"It... helps. Yes. You want to know what I have nightmares about?" Noah asked, rhetorically. "That once Phan learns that he doesn't need the pain, there won't be anything standing between the two of you anymore... but me."
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Conv erter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html
Tobias pulled Noah closer to him and kissed his temple. "It's not going to happen," Tobias said, enunciating every word. "Phan and I have ties, yes. We've been over this, Noah. Phan and I split up over more than the pain, though that was at the root. We... we aren't right together that way. You and I are.
You are not second choice for me, Noah Dolan -- you're the only choice. What can I do to prove that to you? What can I do to make you secure in that?"
Noah shook his head. "You can't. I just have to believe it. And I do. I do. Just nights like this and talk like... well, I hadn't expected it, and it threw me." Noah kissed Tobias' neck and sighed. "So, are you all right?" Noah asked, deftly changing the subject. "You've got a horrid temper tonight. I've never seen you and Master Bradford argue like that."
"I'm... I'm not doing so well, no," Tobias said with a grimace. "At least with Deidre I can send flowers; I hate to think what Bradford is going to make me do." He sighed and nuzzled Noah for a moment. "I don't know what's going to happen or how to help, pet, and that's killing me."
"You're not in control of this, I get that." Noah nodded. "But Phan likes Dr. Brewer, she'll help him."
"I hope so," Tobias said. "We'll just have to wait and
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