Read Online Dirty Little Secrets by Kierney Scott - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Kierney Scott
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“Megan, I need your help,” Ben said. He stood up and slipped into a pair of black suit trousers. His body was perfectly groomed, the hair on his chest, trimmed. He looked so different to James.
The thought of James brought her crashing back to reality.
She nodded at Ben. Anything, she would do anything for him.
“Yes, that’s Chad.” The name sounded odd on his lips. Ben usually only referred to his lover as his friend. It was almost like giving him a name made it real. Ben held her hands in his, his deep brown eyes focused on her. She could not contain her anxiety but Ben was cool, sanguine, and even confident. Something wasn’t right, things were not adding up. Did he not realise this was the end for him? His career was in tatters. There was no way the ultrareligious right wing was going to stand by him through this.
“I need you to say he is your lover,” Ben said. His voice was calm and utterly devoid of any of the despair she had coursing through her.
She shook her head. Ben didn’t understand. It was over, the jig was up. “No one will believe that,” she said softly. It was time for Ben to except the truth about his career…and himself.
“Why wouldn’t they? It’s not like you have always honoured our marriage vows now is it?” Ben asked pointedly. “I think there is a certain James Emerson who can attest to that.”
Megan shook her head. “There is one small problem. Chad is gay.” Ben had lost the plot. There was no way they could pull it off.
Ben visually cringed at the word. “No one knows that. He’s just a civil servant with a keen interest in politics. No one will ever put this back on me. Unless you tell them,” Ben said pointedly. The gaze from his dark brown eyes pinned her in place. “It makes sense that he was here to see you. Given your history with men…” He left the rest unsaid. He was using her past against her, the secrets she had told him, the confidences they had shared. They both knew what he was implying: once a slut always a slut.
Confusion slammed up against anger as pieces began to slide into place. He was prepared to use her past against her. Megan’s hands began to shake. She clenched them into angry fists to control the jerky movement. “Have you always intended to use me as a scapegoat if you were caught?” She already knew the answer but she needed to hear it from his mouth. She willed him to tell her she was wrong.
“It’s not like that, Megan. It’s not like I planned on getting caught. I’ve always been so careful. You know that.”
“But you planned for the eventuality?” She pulled her hands away.
“It’s not like that.”
Something in her snapped, but instead of getting angry and screaming, she closed down, went impossibly numb. “Yes or no? Answer my question.”
For a long time silence reigned but eventually Ben nodded.
“Say it.” Megan’s voice cracked as the betrayal bit into her. “Say the words.”
“Yes.”
“Look at me. Say the whole thing. I need to hear it all.”
Ben covered his face with his hand. He looked so boyish and handsome. “Yes, I always knew I would blame you if anyone ever found out about Chad. I don’t want to hurt you, Megan. I had no intention of anyone finding out. I will be more careful in the future. I promise.”
The words should have stung, but she was ready for them. She had already closed herself down. No one was getting in, nothing could touch her. The only sadness she had was from the knowledge that Ben was just another man. Her anger turned on herself for thinking Ben was any different. It was her fault for trusting him. He could not use her past against her had she not been stupid enough to confide in him. Shame on her for thinking he was different, that what they had was special. “You did not mean to hurt me but I was the contingency plan. If anything happened, you would throw me under the bus. Megan did it. She slept with plenty of men. What’s one more to add to the
“Megan, I need your help,” Ben said. He stood up and slipped into a pair of black suit trousers. His body was perfectly groomed, the hair on his chest, trimmed. He looked so different to James.
The thought of James brought her crashing back to reality.
She nodded at Ben. Anything, she would do anything for him.
“Yes, that’s Chad.” The name sounded odd on his lips. Ben usually only referred to his lover as his friend. It was almost like giving him a name made it real. Ben held her hands in his, his deep brown eyes focused on her. She could not contain her anxiety but Ben was cool, sanguine, and even confident. Something wasn’t right, things were not adding up. Did he not realise this was the end for him? His career was in tatters. There was no way the ultrareligious right wing was going to stand by him through this.
“I need you to say he is your lover,” Ben said. His voice was calm and utterly devoid of any of the despair she had coursing through her.
She shook her head. Ben didn’t understand. It was over, the jig was up. “No one will believe that,” she said softly. It was time for Ben to except the truth about his career…and himself.
“Why wouldn’t they? It’s not like you have always honoured our marriage vows now is it?” Ben asked pointedly. “I think there is a certain James Emerson who can attest to that.”
Megan shook her head. “There is one small problem. Chad is gay.” Ben had lost the plot. There was no way they could pull it off.
Ben visually cringed at the word. “No one knows that. He’s just a civil servant with a keen interest in politics. No one will ever put this back on me. Unless you tell them,” Ben said pointedly. The gaze from his dark brown eyes pinned her in place. “It makes sense that he was here to see you. Given your history with men…” He left the rest unsaid. He was using her past against her, the secrets she had told him, the confidences they had shared. They both knew what he was implying: once a slut always a slut.
Confusion slammed up against anger as pieces began to slide into place. He was prepared to use her past against her. Megan’s hands began to shake. She clenched them into angry fists to control the jerky movement. “Have you always intended to use me as a scapegoat if you were caught?” She already knew the answer but she needed to hear it from his mouth. She willed him to tell her she was wrong.
“It’s not like that, Megan. It’s not like I planned on getting caught. I’ve always been so careful. You know that.”
“But you planned for the eventuality?” She pulled her hands away.
“It’s not like that.”
Something in her snapped, but instead of getting angry and screaming, she closed down, went impossibly numb. “Yes or no? Answer my question.”
For a long time silence reigned but eventually Ben nodded.
“Say it.” Megan’s voice cracked as the betrayal bit into her. “Say the words.”
“Yes.”
“Look at me. Say the whole thing. I need to hear it all.”
Ben covered his face with his hand. He looked so boyish and handsome. “Yes, I always knew I would blame you if anyone ever found out about Chad. I don’t want to hurt you, Megan. I had no intention of anyone finding out. I will be more careful in the future. I promise.”
The words should have stung, but she was ready for them. She had already closed herself down. No one was getting in, nothing could touch her. The only sadness she had was from the knowledge that Ben was just another man. Her anger turned on herself for thinking Ben was any different. It was her fault for trusting him. He could not use her past against her had she not been stupid enough to confide in him. Shame on her for thinking he was different, that what they had was special. “You did not mean to hurt me but I was the contingency plan. If anything happened, you would throw me under the bus. Megan did it. She slept with plenty of men. What’s one more to add to the
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