everything else bad in the world. Dealing with cancer the last
year had taught her to cherish the minutes and days, just to be happy she was
alive, and not to waste the time.
A smile took over her lips at the thought of her
daughter’s coming baby. Laura was five months along, due in November around
Thanksgiving, and she and Justin had found out they were having a boy. Henry
was so excited. Finally a grandson he could also teach to fish, hunt and love
the land. Ann was excited, too. Another grandchild. She wouldn’t care if it
were a boy or a girl, it would be a baby, a child, she could shower love on and
be loved by in return. She’d already begun buying little infant toys and
clothes for him and trying to guess what her daughter and son-in-law were going
to name him. Laura liked the name Matthew, while Justin was leaning towards
Sam. Ann didn’t care about that, either. She’d love the baby no matter what he was
called. She couldn’t wait. There was nothing like the feel of a baby in your
arms.
Then her smile faded away. A lot was going to
happen, be decided, settled by the time Laura had her child. Four months from
now.
The newspaper being one of them. Ann hadn’t said
anything yet to Henry, she’d been going to the night before…until the episode
with the cat-hungry dino. The newspaper was losing money like a severed vein
loses blood. Newspapers all over the country were dying and small town papers
were the most terminal. Her newspaper’s revenues were decreasing each month
because of the Internet, well, and because people just didn’t care about
reading a real newspaper any longer, especially the young ones. People wanted
the easy news fed to them in quick, condensed bytes like what they saw on the
nightly news or read on the Web. Twitter appetizers. Newspapers were going out
of style. Their days were numbered, or so she believed.
So Ann had fretted over her options long and hard
and, truth was, she was seriously considering selling the newspaper; getting
the best price she could for it in a weak market, and taking early retirement.
Another casualty of her cancer. She didn’t want to waste her time writing
folksy narratives, selling ad space or sending green reporters out on stories
no one would remember a week later. None of it made any sense to her lately. Not
since her illness. The greater world no longer seemed as important as her own
tiny world.
When she’d had cancer she’d taken stock of her life
and asked herself what she really wanted. The answer? She wanted to spend
whatever time she had left in her life with Henry, her family, nature and,
maybe, write a book or something. Something that might live after her. Disposable
newsprint wouldn’t. A novel would.
And now? Her frown had grown and a familiar ache
began to throb inside her somewhere. Now there was a chance, slim, but still a
chance, that her cancer had returned. Oh, it wasn’t for sure yet. She hadn’t gone
back to the doctor for tests. It was just a hunch, a twinge of a suspicion that
had begun to haunt her. She wasn’t feeling quite herself lately. Unexplained
weariness again, and pain. She knew she had to go see her doctor, but kept
putting it off. She, of all people, knew if the disease had returned there was
a good chance this time she wouldn’t beat it. Two of her uncles had died of
cancer, and one of her sisters. They’d all followed the same downward spiral.
Found it once, beat it once; got it again and, eventually, even after endless
treatments, that was the end. She wasn’t even sure if she’d try to fight it a
second or third time. If. If. If.
The doctor. She needed to go to the doctor. She was
afraid to go to the doctor.
Maybe she’d think about it tomorrow.
She’d let her mind wander too much and abruptly the
world she was driving through tugged her back to reality. Outside the vehicle,
it was strangely silent. No hikers or visitors. No other cars, RVs or campers. That
made sense. But there weren’t any
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