mentioned this?’
‘I’m sure they have, but perhaps you weren’t ready to listen?’
‘Too drugged more like it.’
She bit her lip and pushed away from him, instantly recognising her mistake. Too late to take it back or hide it. It wouldn’t be long now, she guessed, before he realised that she was far more awake than she should have been by now, and he’d remember the portions of breakfast that she’d left untouched: the cereal and the strawberry jam on toast that tasted bitter and gritty. Then, next time, he’d mash the dose of tablets more thoroughly, like the others.
‘Trust me,’ he said as if he’d read that thought from her expression too. ‘Or don’t trust me. That particular choice is one that’s already yours and always has been. But I really feel as if we’re making more progress, and if you could just relax enough to let me through that rawhide barrier of yours, I believe we could get to the meat underneath and what’s really eating you.’
‘I knew it!’ she said, recoiling inside as well as away from him. ‘You’re just like the others. You beg and plead and manipulate me. Then it’s slap, bam, needle, ma’am, and I’m flat on my back in a straitjacket.’
‘Mira, I couldn’t care less about your hallucinations. What’s in the past, is in the past, and with your eyes stitched shut as well, there’s no chance they won’t stay there. I’m talking about the big bad horrible wolf that’s lurking somewhere in your head and keeps biting anyone who tries to get close enough to help you.’
‘Liar! You’re just trying to confuse me. You still want me to go back there with you.’
‘I am
not
lying. I would be, though, if I said I didn’t care about what happens to you. Stay or go: neither solves anything unless something big changes — inside you or out there in society. Otherwise, you may think freedom is on the mainland, but how will you ever manage to sleep nights never knowing when someone’s coming to get you? But if we go back up the hilltogether now, as your first reward, I’ll apply for a day pass.’
‘Are you kidding?
Today?’
‘Why not? If I don’t earn your trust honestly, I’ll never keep it.’
‘This isn’t a trick? You mean a day trip to
my
home, right?’
‘Of course. If I started taking girls to my home, my mother would freak out. Hey, maybe that’s not such a bad idea?’ He chuckled, but she got the impression it was humour for himself.
Her mouth fell open. ‘You still live with your mother?’
‘She lives with me actually; moved in to house-sit while I was in jail and we both work such long hours we haven’t really talked about when she might move out again.’
‘I never imagined you people having families.’
‘I’ve got a dog too. Big old goofy bugger who hogs my bed every night. So what do you say?’ He coughed, and it made him sound weaker. ‘Do you want to start a new life today? Or run away from the chance now, and perhaps forever?’
Mira shivered at the thought of going back inside, of being dragged back by force or returning willingly. One did appeal more than the other, but not by much.
‘I never had a dog,’ she said to distract herself. Her family had always preferred to adopt orphaned wildlife.
Standing up, she shuffled to the edge of the shelter where the soft drizzle kissed her face again. A branch rustled nearby and she tensed. Listening to the sounds of the island, though, she couldn’t hear anyone preparing to tackle her. Perhaps they would if she made the wrong decision? She sniffed the breeze. If they were hiding, it wasn’t downwind.
‘Today?’ she persisted. ‘I can go home today?’
‘Today? Well, er. I can ask for approval for a day pass today like I said, but it takes about a day to get approved, so the trip will more likely be tomorrow — which is even better, because it gives us the advantage of an early start and a whole day out. Just for a visit, you have to understand. If you want to
‘I’m sure they have, but perhaps you weren’t ready to listen?’
‘Too drugged more like it.’
She bit her lip and pushed away from him, instantly recognising her mistake. Too late to take it back or hide it. It wouldn’t be long now, she guessed, before he realised that she was far more awake than she should have been by now, and he’d remember the portions of breakfast that she’d left untouched: the cereal and the strawberry jam on toast that tasted bitter and gritty. Then, next time, he’d mash the dose of tablets more thoroughly, like the others.
‘Trust me,’ he said as if he’d read that thought from her expression too. ‘Or don’t trust me. That particular choice is one that’s already yours and always has been. But I really feel as if we’re making more progress, and if you could just relax enough to let me through that rawhide barrier of yours, I believe we could get to the meat underneath and what’s really eating you.’
‘I knew it!’ she said, recoiling inside as well as away from him. ‘You’re just like the others. You beg and plead and manipulate me. Then it’s slap, bam, needle, ma’am, and I’m flat on my back in a straitjacket.’
‘Mira, I couldn’t care less about your hallucinations. What’s in the past, is in the past, and with your eyes stitched shut as well, there’s no chance they won’t stay there. I’m talking about the big bad horrible wolf that’s lurking somewhere in your head and keeps biting anyone who tries to get close enough to help you.’
‘Liar! You’re just trying to confuse me. You still want me to go back there with you.’
‘I am
not
lying. I would be, though, if I said I didn’t care about what happens to you. Stay or go: neither solves anything unless something big changes — inside you or out there in society. Otherwise, you may think freedom is on the mainland, but how will you ever manage to sleep nights never knowing when someone’s coming to get you? But if we go back up the hilltogether now, as your first reward, I’ll apply for a day pass.’
‘Are you kidding?
Today?’
‘Why not? If I don’t earn your trust honestly, I’ll never keep it.’
‘This isn’t a trick? You mean a day trip to
my
home, right?’
‘Of course. If I started taking girls to my home, my mother would freak out. Hey, maybe that’s not such a bad idea?’ He chuckled, but she got the impression it was humour for himself.
Her mouth fell open. ‘You still live with your mother?’
‘She lives with me actually; moved in to house-sit while I was in jail and we both work such long hours we haven’t really talked about when she might move out again.’
‘I never imagined you people having families.’
‘I’ve got a dog too. Big old goofy bugger who hogs my bed every night. So what do you say?’ He coughed, and it made him sound weaker. ‘Do you want to start a new life today? Or run away from the chance now, and perhaps forever?’
Mira shivered at the thought of going back inside, of being dragged back by force or returning willingly. One did appeal more than the other, but not by much.
‘I never had a dog,’ she said to distract herself. Her family had always preferred to adopt orphaned wildlife.
Standing up, she shuffled to the edge of the shelter where the soft drizzle kissed her face again. A branch rustled nearby and she tensed. Listening to the sounds of the island, though, she couldn’t hear anyone preparing to tackle her. Perhaps they would if she made the wrong decision? She sniffed the breeze. If they were hiding, it wasn’t downwind.
‘Today?’ she persisted. ‘I can go home today?’
‘Today? Well, er. I can ask for approval for a day pass today like I said, but it takes about a day to get approved, so the trip will more likely be tomorrow — which is even better, because it gives us the advantage of an early start and a whole day out. Just for a visit, you have to understand. If you want to
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