Read Online Depth Perception by Linda Castillo - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Linda Castillo
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again? I had no money. No job. No place to live except that goddamn trailer."
Realizing the situation was getting out of control. Nick straightened and looked around for Mike Pequinot.
"Let me tell you how it's been," she said with sudden emotion. "I've spent the last six years working in that shit-hole motel on the interstate. My salary and tips barely make the rent. I use food stamps. My car is a piece of shit. I need new tires—"
"Maybe you ought to stop spending your money on booze."
She went on as if she hadn't heard him, her voice cracking. "I miss my baby so much I can't stand it, Nicky. Nothing has been the same for me since Brandon."
Just hearing the name hurt. Pain that was bright red in intensity and so bone deep that it took his breath. "Don't bring him into this," Nick ground out.
An emotion he could only describe as hatred flared hotly in her eyes. "Oh, I forgot. That's how you deal with problems. Don't talk about them, and poof! they disappear. God, Nick, if you could put that in a bottle and sell it, you'd be rich."
"Tanya, you're drunk .”
"I may be drunk, but at least I'm alive. At least I'm not dead inside like you.”
"Why don't you go home and sleep it off?"
"You've always been a holier-than-thou-art son of a bitch, and you still are. I guess those years behind bars didn't do a damn thing for that high-and-mighty attitude of yours. Even broke you still look at everyone down your nose.
"Well. look at you now, Nicky. You're nothing but a second-rate loser ex-con working in a shit hole, just like me. You're broke. Back on the farm and living with your crazy old man. You always thought you were better than me, didn't you? Now I guess everyone in this town knows you're not."
Several people standing at the bar had noticed the exchange and were staring. their eyes alight in anticipation of a brewing fight. ''Take your drink and go," he said.
She ignored him. 'The last time I saw you, you weren't quite so high and mighty, were you, Nicky? You remember that day, don't you?"
"Shut your goddamn mouth."
"If my memory serves me, I'm pretty sure you got down on your knees and begged me to stay, didn't you?"
Nick wished he could dispute her words, but he couldn't and the wash of humiliation burned. He'd never begged for anything in his life. But that day in the prison visitor room when she'd told him she was filing for divorce and wouldn't be back, Nick's knees had hit the deck. Not because he'd loved her, but because he'd loved his son, and when it came to his little boy, pride hadn't mattered. Nick had known she was incapable of caring for a child. He'd known his son would be in danger if he let her go.
"Maybe you even cried a little," she teased. “That's a pathetic thing for a man to do.”
"Get out, Tanya. Take your delusions with you."
"Oh, that burns, doesn't it, Nicky?" Her mouth twisted into a smile. "High-and-mighty Nick Bastille begging his little trailer trash wife not to leave him to rot in prison."
"You're making a fool of yourself."
"I'm making a fool of you , and you don't like it. Well, here's a newsflash for you, Nicky. The world doesn't revolve around what you do and do not like. You're a nothing with a capital N. A big fat zero. A loser ex-con with a record who will never amount to anything, just like your old man."
Nick could feel the rage building inside him, a storm cloud heavy with violence. “Someone get her out of here."
A man tried to take her arm. "Come on, Tanny, leave him be. Let's get some air."
Tanya jerked away from him. her furious gaze on Nick. "You didn't know how to be a husband and you sure as hell didn't know how to be a father. All you cared about was that fucking restaurant. You put it above me. Above Brandon."
"Leave him out of this."
She choked out a sound that was hall laugh, hall sob. "And now you have the gall to stand there and look at me as if what happened to him was all my fault, you son of a bitch. You might like to think otherwise, but you
Realizing the situation was getting out of control. Nick straightened and looked around for Mike Pequinot.
"Let me tell you how it's been," she said with sudden emotion. "I've spent the last six years working in that shit-hole motel on the interstate. My salary and tips barely make the rent. I use food stamps. My car is a piece of shit. I need new tires—"
"Maybe you ought to stop spending your money on booze."
She went on as if she hadn't heard him, her voice cracking. "I miss my baby so much I can't stand it, Nicky. Nothing has been the same for me since Brandon."
Just hearing the name hurt. Pain that was bright red in intensity and so bone deep that it took his breath. "Don't bring him into this," Nick ground out.
An emotion he could only describe as hatred flared hotly in her eyes. "Oh, I forgot. That's how you deal with problems. Don't talk about them, and poof! they disappear. God, Nick, if you could put that in a bottle and sell it, you'd be rich."
"Tanya, you're drunk .”
"I may be drunk, but at least I'm alive. At least I'm not dead inside like you.”
"Why don't you go home and sleep it off?"
"You've always been a holier-than-thou-art son of a bitch, and you still are. I guess those years behind bars didn't do a damn thing for that high-and-mighty attitude of yours. Even broke you still look at everyone down your nose.
"Well. look at you now, Nicky. You're nothing but a second-rate loser ex-con working in a shit hole, just like me. You're broke. Back on the farm and living with your crazy old man. You always thought you were better than me, didn't you? Now I guess everyone in this town knows you're not."
Several people standing at the bar had noticed the exchange and were staring. their eyes alight in anticipation of a brewing fight. ''Take your drink and go," he said.
She ignored him. 'The last time I saw you, you weren't quite so high and mighty, were you, Nicky? You remember that day, don't you?"
"Shut your goddamn mouth."
"If my memory serves me, I'm pretty sure you got down on your knees and begged me to stay, didn't you?"
Nick wished he could dispute her words, but he couldn't and the wash of humiliation burned. He'd never begged for anything in his life. But that day in the prison visitor room when she'd told him she was filing for divorce and wouldn't be back, Nick's knees had hit the deck. Not because he'd loved her, but because he'd loved his son, and when it came to his little boy, pride hadn't mattered. Nick had known she was incapable of caring for a child. He'd known his son would be in danger if he let her go.
"Maybe you even cried a little," she teased. “That's a pathetic thing for a man to do.”
"Get out, Tanya. Take your delusions with you."
"Oh, that burns, doesn't it, Nicky?" Her mouth twisted into a smile. "High-and-mighty Nick Bastille begging his little trailer trash wife not to leave him to rot in prison."
"You're making a fool of yourself."
"I'm making a fool of you , and you don't like it. Well, here's a newsflash for you, Nicky. The world doesn't revolve around what you do and do not like. You're a nothing with a capital N. A big fat zero. A loser ex-con with a record who will never amount to anything, just like your old man."
Nick could feel the rage building inside him, a storm cloud heavy with violence. “Someone get her out of here."
A man tried to take her arm. "Come on, Tanny, leave him be. Let's get some air."
Tanya jerked away from him. her furious gaze on Nick. "You didn't know how to be a husband and you sure as hell didn't know how to be a father. All you cared about was that fucking restaurant. You put it above me. Above Brandon."
"Leave him out of this."
She choked out a sound that was hall laugh, hall sob. "And now you have the gall to stand there and look at me as if what happened to him was all my fault, you son of a bitch. You might like to think otherwise, but you
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