Read Online Deep Blue Sea by Tasmina Perry - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Tasmina Perry
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about it, she was kissing him. His lips felt warm and soft against hers, like a piece of a jigsaw slotting perfectly into place, and he tasted delicious. Of sun and salt, a taste that was both familiar and exotic. And as she felt him respond, pushing his body against hers, she felt a warm rush of desire, happiness, relief wash over her. A relief that it was sorted. That she wouldn’t have to feel threatened by pretty girls in bikinis or sexy diving instructors ever again. Because they loved each other and finally he was hers.
‘Now I know you’re drunk,’ he said as he slowly retreated from her.
‘You think I have to be drunk to kiss you,’ she smiled, looking up at his deep blue eyes.
‘No . . . Look . . .’
Her instincts began to twitch. His move away from her was more deliberate this time. Like a cold slap across the face. She knew what was coming and she didn’t want to hear him say it; those awkward, pitying words telling her that this was a bad idea. He’d let her down gently, of course. She was drunk, emotional; they worked together. But what he really meant was that he didn’t like her like that. Not enough. It was the only reason why something hadn’t happened between them before now.
She felt her back stiffen and she steeled herself. She wasn’t going to let him crush her. Not tonight. Not this week when her mind was all over the place about Julian and Diana.
‘I know, I know. This is not a good idea,’ she said, taking a step back in the sand and pre-empting his next words. ‘I lied. I’ve had about five beers and I’m just feeling a bit emotional . . . I’m sorry for taking it out on you. ’
‘I wouldn’t quite call it taking it out on me,’ he said quietly. His gaze met hers and she felt a swell of emotion as strong as the tide. Tell him you love him , cried a little voice in her head. But already her barriers, her protective shell had gone up. She knew the only way out of this was with a joke.
‘Promise you won’t do me for sexual harassment,’ she smiled, wrinkling her nose, staying strong, hard, impervious.
‘Come here,’ said Liam, drawing her into a deliberate hug. Her face was squashed into his shoulder, and she smelt the same sun and salt on his T-shirt that she had tasted on his lips a moment earlier. She knew it was like a forbidden fruit, something that she had tried but would never again enjoy.
For a few moments they didn’t speak. She would have given anything to climb into his head and find out what he was thinking, but she didn’t have the courage to risk it. Sadness made her shudder.
She could feel his breath on the top of her hair and knew it was too dangerous to stay like this.
‘Thanks for being my friend. Promise you’ll always be my friend,’ she said, listening to his heartbeat through his chest. Fearing any further intimacy, she pulled away from him and slapped his back three times, as if she was sending someone off on to the football pitch, hoping that it gave out the right message of platonic forgiveness. ‘I’d better go home and get my secret hangover remedy ready.’
‘I think we should talk,’ he said, his eyes searching hers.
‘Liam, there’s nothing to talk about.’ She was good at making her voice sound casual. ‘I just want to go home.’
‘Then I’ll walk with you.’
‘No, no, it’s fine, honestly. We’ll talk about the staff thing tomorrow, okay?’
She turned and fled before he could reply, feeling her cheeks burn, wanting to cry, wanting the ground to swallow her up, but most of all wanting him to call her back.
But when she got to the bend in the beach and turned back, there was only an empty space where he had been.
5
The funeral was to be a private affair. Under the circumstances, it was the best thing for everyone – at least that was what Julian’s father had said. ‘Let’s keep it quiet, Diana,’ he’d told her. ‘No fuss, no press, do what has to be done without people peering over the
‘Now I know you’re drunk,’ he said as he slowly retreated from her.
‘You think I have to be drunk to kiss you,’ she smiled, looking up at his deep blue eyes.
‘No . . . Look . . .’
Her instincts began to twitch. His move away from her was more deliberate this time. Like a cold slap across the face. She knew what was coming and she didn’t want to hear him say it; those awkward, pitying words telling her that this was a bad idea. He’d let her down gently, of course. She was drunk, emotional; they worked together. But what he really meant was that he didn’t like her like that. Not enough. It was the only reason why something hadn’t happened between them before now.
She felt her back stiffen and she steeled herself. She wasn’t going to let him crush her. Not tonight. Not this week when her mind was all over the place about Julian and Diana.
‘I know, I know. This is not a good idea,’ she said, taking a step back in the sand and pre-empting his next words. ‘I lied. I’ve had about five beers and I’m just feeling a bit emotional . . . I’m sorry for taking it out on you. ’
‘I wouldn’t quite call it taking it out on me,’ he said quietly. His gaze met hers and she felt a swell of emotion as strong as the tide. Tell him you love him , cried a little voice in her head. But already her barriers, her protective shell had gone up. She knew the only way out of this was with a joke.
‘Promise you won’t do me for sexual harassment,’ she smiled, wrinkling her nose, staying strong, hard, impervious.
‘Come here,’ said Liam, drawing her into a deliberate hug. Her face was squashed into his shoulder, and she smelt the same sun and salt on his T-shirt that she had tasted on his lips a moment earlier. She knew it was like a forbidden fruit, something that she had tried but would never again enjoy.
For a few moments they didn’t speak. She would have given anything to climb into his head and find out what he was thinking, but she didn’t have the courage to risk it. Sadness made her shudder.
She could feel his breath on the top of her hair and knew it was too dangerous to stay like this.
‘Thanks for being my friend. Promise you’ll always be my friend,’ she said, listening to his heartbeat through his chest. Fearing any further intimacy, she pulled away from him and slapped his back three times, as if she was sending someone off on to the football pitch, hoping that it gave out the right message of platonic forgiveness. ‘I’d better go home and get my secret hangover remedy ready.’
‘I think we should talk,’ he said, his eyes searching hers.
‘Liam, there’s nothing to talk about.’ She was good at making her voice sound casual. ‘I just want to go home.’
‘Then I’ll walk with you.’
‘No, no, it’s fine, honestly. We’ll talk about the staff thing tomorrow, okay?’
She turned and fled before he could reply, feeling her cheeks burn, wanting to cry, wanting the ground to swallow her up, but most of all wanting him to call her back.
But when she got to the bend in the beach and turned back, there was only an empty space where he had been.
5
The funeral was to be a private affair. Under the circumstances, it was the best thing for everyone – at least that was what Julian’s father had said. ‘Let’s keep it quiet, Diana,’ he’d told her. ‘No fuss, no press, do what has to be done without people peering over the
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