Read Online Dear Neighbor, Drop Dead by Saralee Rosenberg - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Saralee Rosenberg
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judging him? So he’s a little rough around the edges? He’s been through hell, but he’s basically a sweet kid.”
“Sorry. You’re right. He’s great. Very cute. Can’t wait to fatten him up.”
Dear Neighbor, Drop Dead
59
* * *
Mindy had to maneuver through a minefield of dirty clothes, clean clothes, books, and several pairs of UGGs before she could reach an inconsolable Stacie, who was slumped in a corner of her room holding her stuffed animals. She stroked her daughter’s hair and said she could win a hundred bucks if she could recall the color of her carpet. It didn’t make her laugh.
Stacie cried that she felt very sorry about what she had done, but was mostly worried that if Beth and Richard got a divorce, Jessica would blame her, get their entire grade to hate her, then she wouldn’t be invited to any more bar or bat mitzvahs.
“That’s what you’re so worried about?” Mindy chuckled.
“No, I’m scared Jessie will never talk to me again,” she cried.
“I really thought I was helping her.”
“I know, but it was still dumb to pretend you were me. . . . Not to mention, you are so grounded for going on Facebook. That’s only for high school and college kids.”
“Mom! Everyone I know is on there and it’s all they do. . . . Do you want me to be left out?”
“I guess not.” Mindy sighed. This teen terrain was so scary, and what could be more terrifying than the thought of your child being a social outcast?
“Do you think they’ll get a divorce now?” Stacie wiped her nose.
“I have no idea, sweetie. But if they do, it won’t be because of anything you did.”
“I would die if you and Daddy got a divorce.”
“Never gonna happen. It would take us years to save up for the lawyers.”
“Stace, you ready to come down and meet Aaron?” Artie stuck his head in. “He’s very excited to meet you.”
“Really?” Mindy asked.
“No, but he’s in the den looking fairly miserable. I thought 60
Saralee Rosenberg
we could give him the old Shermaroo, let’s get ready to rumble, high-five welcome.”
“No!” Stacie snapped. “I’m not doing that. It’s stupid.”
“Oh, come on, sport. It’s such a great family tradition. I bet he’ll think it’s fun.”
“Not if he’s normal. He’ll think we’re a bunch of dorks.”
“I’ll take my chances,” he replied.
Sure enough, the Shermans, aka the starting five, lined up for their long standing tradition of welcoming guests while Artie did the play-by-play, as if they were in Madison Square Garden before a Knicks game. It was all hoops and hollers, except for the visiting rookie who barely slapped hands as he made his way down the line.
“Told you this was stupid.” Stacie checked her cell. “Can I go to do my homework now?”
“How about we all have some ice cream?” Artie shot her a look.
“Great idea!” Mindy clapped. “We’ll have a get-rid-of-it party before we leave.”
“Ice cream! Ice cream! Ice cream,” Ricky chanted.
“No thanks,” Aaron said. “How far’s New Jersey?”
“Depends on where,” Artie replied.
“Not sure . . . Been talkin’ to this kid online. . . . He said I could hang with him and his band.”
“Tonight?”
“Whatever. Yeah. I guess.”
“I don’t think so. It’s at least a good hour away. Maybe more.”
“I drive you know.” He air strummed a guitar. “Don’t need you to take me.”
“No I know. It’s just that the highways around here are pretty confusing. And Jersey drivers . . . forget about it. Plus tomorrow’s going to be all kinds of crazy. Last day before the big trip! Hey, do you need nice pants or shirts? A few of the nights you have to be dressed—”
Dear Neighbor, Drop Dead
61
“I brought stuff . . . not an idiot, Art . . . ‘I didn’t mean to take up all your sweet time, I’ ll give it right back to you, one of these days. ’”
Artie blinked. The kid was quoting Hendrix AND dissing him at the same time?
Mindy bit her
“Sorry. You’re right. He’s great. Very cute. Can’t wait to fatten him up.”
Dear Neighbor, Drop Dead
59
* * *
Mindy had to maneuver through a minefield of dirty clothes, clean clothes, books, and several pairs of UGGs before she could reach an inconsolable Stacie, who was slumped in a corner of her room holding her stuffed animals. She stroked her daughter’s hair and said she could win a hundred bucks if she could recall the color of her carpet. It didn’t make her laugh.
Stacie cried that she felt very sorry about what she had done, but was mostly worried that if Beth and Richard got a divorce, Jessica would blame her, get their entire grade to hate her, then she wouldn’t be invited to any more bar or bat mitzvahs.
“That’s what you’re so worried about?” Mindy chuckled.
“No, I’m scared Jessie will never talk to me again,” she cried.
“I really thought I was helping her.”
“I know, but it was still dumb to pretend you were me. . . . Not to mention, you are so grounded for going on Facebook. That’s only for high school and college kids.”
“Mom! Everyone I know is on there and it’s all they do. . . . Do you want me to be left out?”
“I guess not.” Mindy sighed. This teen terrain was so scary, and what could be more terrifying than the thought of your child being a social outcast?
“Do you think they’ll get a divorce now?” Stacie wiped her nose.
“I have no idea, sweetie. But if they do, it won’t be because of anything you did.”
“I would die if you and Daddy got a divorce.”
“Never gonna happen. It would take us years to save up for the lawyers.”
“Stace, you ready to come down and meet Aaron?” Artie stuck his head in. “He’s very excited to meet you.”
“Really?” Mindy asked.
“No, but he’s in the den looking fairly miserable. I thought 60
Saralee Rosenberg
we could give him the old Shermaroo, let’s get ready to rumble, high-five welcome.”
“No!” Stacie snapped. “I’m not doing that. It’s stupid.”
“Oh, come on, sport. It’s such a great family tradition. I bet he’ll think it’s fun.”
“Not if he’s normal. He’ll think we’re a bunch of dorks.”
“I’ll take my chances,” he replied.
Sure enough, the Shermans, aka the starting five, lined up for their long standing tradition of welcoming guests while Artie did the play-by-play, as if they were in Madison Square Garden before a Knicks game. It was all hoops and hollers, except for the visiting rookie who barely slapped hands as he made his way down the line.
“Told you this was stupid.” Stacie checked her cell. “Can I go to do my homework now?”
“How about we all have some ice cream?” Artie shot her a look.
“Great idea!” Mindy clapped. “We’ll have a get-rid-of-it party before we leave.”
“Ice cream! Ice cream! Ice cream,” Ricky chanted.
“No thanks,” Aaron said. “How far’s New Jersey?”
“Depends on where,” Artie replied.
“Not sure . . . Been talkin’ to this kid online. . . . He said I could hang with him and his band.”
“Tonight?”
“Whatever. Yeah. I guess.”
“I don’t think so. It’s at least a good hour away. Maybe more.”
“I drive you know.” He air strummed a guitar. “Don’t need you to take me.”
“No I know. It’s just that the highways around here are pretty confusing. And Jersey drivers . . . forget about it. Plus tomorrow’s going to be all kinds of crazy. Last day before the big trip! Hey, do you need nice pants or shirts? A few of the nights you have to be dressed—”
Dear Neighbor, Drop Dead
61
“I brought stuff . . . not an idiot, Art . . . ‘I didn’t mean to take up all your sweet time, I’ ll give it right back to you, one of these days. ’”
Artie blinked. The kid was quoting Hendrix AND dissing him at the same time?
Mindy bit her
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