Read Online Darker Water by Lauren Stewart - Free Book Online Page B

didn’t drink the last beer. If I
did, I would be punished in a way he couldn’t discuss but that made
him smile in a very wicked way.
    “You’re not sleeping with anyone?” I
asked.
    “I don’t have time to. I spend all of it
trying to sleep with you.”
    I’d be lying if I said it didn’t take a huge
burden off my chest. But it was completely unfair, illogical, and
irrational to expect him—someone very upfront about his sexual dos
and don’ts—to be saving himself for a woman who couldn’t make up
her mind.
    I’d assumed he’d been sleeping with people
while I’d been trying not to imagine him sleeping with people. But
when I actually thought about it, we really were spending a lot of
time together. He worked all week, met me for coffee every night,
and spent at least one weekend day with me, usually both.
    He sat back down at the worktable. “So are we
having this foursome or not?”
    “I don’t know when I’ll be ready. Before we
do it, I have to know I won’t feel anything. I mean anything emotional because that would really be sad if I didn’t feel anything .”
    “We’re not talking about your roommate
anymore, are we?”
    I shook my head. “I don’t want to be a tease,
and I really want to. Like, really want to. But not if it
screws me up.” Sex always screwed me up—as if the second the deed
was done, my ring finger started itching. And Carson was so
amazing, I wasn’t sure I could keep my promise to myself and to
him. “So if you want to take a break from trying to get in my pants
or if you want to stop completely, I totally understand.”
    He paused. “I’m glad you said that because I
think you needed to. It’s good practice for you and was a nice
offer. But honestly… I don’t actually give a shit. I am a selfish
prick, Lane. If I wanted to be somewhere else with someone else, I
would be. If and when I decide I want to, I’ll let you know and
then I’ll do it. Because I’m a selfish prick. But for right now,
the only pants I want to get into are yours, and the time I choose
to devote to the cause is up to me. The only decisions you get to
make are when—note I didn’t say ‘if’— when you say yes and
when—again notice the absence of the word ‘if’— when you want
me to go away.”
    I sighed. “I love your honesty. I really
do.”
    “Well, I love your breasts, so we’re even.”
His smile disappeared faster than it showed up. “Oh fuck. Does that
mean we’re in love?” Amazingly, he kept a straight face until I hit
him. “Oww. I need a drink to ease the pain.”
    Before I could stop him, he used one of my
very sharp, very expensive chisels to split a lime open.
    “No, Carson, the blade!” I yanked it out of
his hand and ran to the sink to rinse the acidic juice off the
steel. “Lime juice will dull it.”
    “Wow, speaking of dull… I hope you’re more
fun when you’re drunk because, as soon as I find a tool I’m allowed
to touch, it’s going to happen. I didn’t bring a shot glass though,
so you may have to whittle one.”
     
     
    Thankfully, I woke up in my own bed. Alone.
Although I really could’ve done without my head feeling like a
condemned building being torn down by a huge iron ball. I reeked of
tequila and when I wiped my neck, I felt something grainy like
sand. Nope, not sand. Salt. I had salt on my neck from where
Carson’s…
    Oh shit. His tongue. The heat of his mouth
running up my neck, his lips lingering just behind my ear.
    “Yes, that really happened.” Then with a
whole new kind of pain in my head, I remembered us staring at each
other while I took my time sucking every last grain of salt off his
finger.
    Even more vaguely, I remember him getting us
a cab and dropping me off here. I’m pretty sure we didn’t have sex.
Almost sure. Plus, I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to forget having
sex with someone. If I remembered sucking on his finger, I’d have
remembered if any other parts of his body went into mine. Oh
god.
    I