buckling my seat belt and arranging me in the back seat next to him but what the hell can I do? My sassy smart mouth has been effectively silenced and it’s making me a little crazy. The ride to the hospital is much longer than the one between Aunt Sophia’s house and Evan and Gabriella’s home. Evan sits quietly, fingers laced with mine on the seat between us. He has his elbow propped against the window with his head resting on the back of his hand, deep in thought. I leave him be and let my own thoughts roam.
What’s he going to do to prove to me that nothing can be done for him? I’m in the medical field, I know better than to give up hope. I’ve seen miracles, people who had zero chance pull through and live a long life. It’s not like Evan to give up, he always gets what he wants, all the time, so what’s holding him back from scouring the earth for someone to cure him? Unless…maybe he’s already done that? Well I don’t care if he has, we will look harder. I also imagine he believes he deserves this as his punishment but no way, I’m not accepting that. I believe there is a God and I can’t imagine he would be intentionally cruel, everyone deserves forgiveness.
Dr. Amato parks in a spot assigned to him that is conveniently close to the doors of the E.R. It’s late and the hospital doesn’t seem to be busy. I suspect even if it were we would be whisked into a room after one terrifying look from Evan, and being accompanied by a physician on staff helps too. It suddenly occurs to me that we are going to have to have some sort of story so Evan doesn’t get fucking arrested for assault or worse attempted murder! For what feels like the hundredth time I make a writing gesture asking for my paper, but this time I’m a little frantic so he gives it to me right away.
What are we going to say? I don’t want you to get reported to the police! I hand it over, he reads and I wait for some panic, anxiety, something. But no, he relaxes back into the uncomfortable chair beside my equally uncomfortable gurney. I reach out and tap his shoulder rapidly conveying my urgency. “Don’t worry Mia, remember? That’s my job. Let me take care of it, everything is fine, nobody is going to accuse me of anything.” Well what the fuck? How does he know that? And what am I supposed to say happened?
No time to work on a story the E.R. doctor enters the tiny stall and they begin to speak in Italian, great, I can’t talk and now I can’t understand what the hell they are saying either! This is exactly why I didn’t want to be treated in a foreign hospital. In an environment where things are usually very familiar I feel vulnerable and helpless. It’s a hospital with, clinical surroundings, the smell of bleach, the soft buzz of the lights overhead but I’m just as much an outsider as any patient, being a nurse gives me no advantage when I can’t communicate. “He’s going to get a CT scan…like you said.” Evan informs me after a few minutes of back and forth with the doctor whose name I still don’t know.
He approaches me without speaking and performs an examination, occasionally asking Evan questions, don’t these people believe in translators? I know in general what he’s looking for and what he’s doing, maybe Evan has told him I’m a nurse, who knows? I wonder what kind of story he’s telling this man. It must be something really good because there are no signs of suspicion from doctor no name. We are left alone, I wonder where Gabriella and Simone have gone. “They went for coffee.” he says out of the blue without looking at me.
How he knows what I’m thinking all the time I don’t know but it’s getting a little bizarre. “I know what you’re thinking, they aren’t formal about translators here and I know what’s wrong with you so I explained the problem, he orders the tests and if it’s all good we go home.” Well isn’t that neat and tidy? This shit wouldn’t fly in the states, no
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