destroy Bane if
he did not fight, for she did not know that for certain. If he
posed no threat, the Black Lord might very well leave him alone,
rather than challenge him. She sighed, waiting until he raised icy
eyes to her face and reading the hostility in them.
"We are not demons," she told
him. "We are humans, your own kind. That longing for company you
had long ago is perfectly normal. We have it too. It is not a
weakness. Mirra will not taunt you or deny it to you. She is a very
kind girl."
"I do not need
her kindness ." He spat
the last word with loathing.
"No, of course not. You do not
need anyone." Ellese cringed inwardly. She was not saying it well.
"But did you ever consider that we might need you?"
"To destroy the Black Lord."
"No." She sat on the chair,
grateful he had not tacked a 'why should I' onto that statement.
"At one time, Mirra needed your protection from the demons, which
was one of the reasons you did it. No one had ever needed you
before, but she was helpless, reliant on you, and you did not let
her down, did you? You almost killed yourself to save her."
"It was a challenge."
Ellese ignored
him. "Now she is safe. She does not appear to need you anymore, and you resent that. But
you are wrong; she still needs you, and so do I."
"What for?"
"To talk to, to be with, to
share our hopes and dreams, fears and disappointments."
"You can do that with
anyone."
"Not really. You are special to
us."
Bane snorted in patent disbelief
and lay down, clasping his hands behind his head.
Ellese searched for the right
words. "I know I am rushing this, but we have so little time."
"Why would you care? Why am I
special to you?"
"After so many years of caring
about you, I feel I know you, and that makes you special to me. You
are like the son I never had."
"My mother is dead."
Elder Mother nodded. "But your
father is not."
Bane raised his head to stare at
her with an almost comically startled expression, then his guard
slammed into place. "What of it?"
"Would you like to meet
him?"
"He does not even know I
exist."
Ellese smiled. "No, but I am
sure he would be overjoyed."
"The lusty woodcutter."
"The Black Lord told you that?"
Ellese's heart sank. What lies had the Black Lord filled Bane's
head with?
"A lusty woodcutter and a love
sick peasant girl."
"Yes, your father is a woodsman,
and your mother was a peasant girl. They loved each other very
much."
"So they conceived me. How
sweet." His voice dripped scorn.
Ellese glared at him, angered by
his attitude. "Yes, they did. Why is that so repugnant to you?"
"I am the product of some lusty
roll in the hay, an afternoon's fornication under a hedgerow. That
hardly fills me with respect for them."
Ellese's voice softened with
sadness, understanding. "Your parents were married for two years.
You would have been their first-born son. You were planned. Very
much wanted. They would have adored you. Your father has pined for
your mother for twenty years."
Bane stared at the ceiling, his
brows knotted, breathing deeply through flared nostrils. She could
sense his rage building from across the room. He seemed to radiate
it in cold waves, and she wondered if he would control it, or
explode. His moods were unpredictable in the extreme.
Bane leapt up in a smooth bound
and hurled himself against the wall, pounding it with his fist, his
forehead pressed to the cold stone. "Damn him! Damn him!"
The thudding of his fist
reverberated around the room, the blows so hard that the rough
stone cut into his skin. Startled and concerned, Ellese went to him
and put a comforting hand on his back, although he flinched from
her touch. She did not need to remind herself that this was a man
who teetered on the brink of self-destruction, whose loathing for
the world was only outstripped by his wish to quit it.
The only reason he still lived
was the tenuous, misunderstood hold that Mirra had on his heart. If
he decided that that was not a good enough reason to continue
living,
he did not fight, for she did not know that for certain. If he
posed no threat, the Black Lord might very well leave him alone,
rather than challenge him. She sighed, waiting until he raised icy
eyes to her face and reading the hostility in them.
"We are not demons," she told
him. "We are humans, your own kind. That longing for company you
had long ago is perfectly normal. We have it too. It is not a
weakness. Mirra will not taunt you or deny it to you. She is a very
kind girl."
"I do not need
her kindness ." He spat
the last word with loathing.
"No, of course not. You do not
need anyone." Ellese cringed inwardly. She was not saying it well.
"But did you ever consider that we might need you?"
"To destroy the Black Lord."
"No." She sat on the chair,
grateful he had not tacked a 'why should I' onto that statement.
"At one time, Mirra needed your protection from the demons, which
was one of the reasons you did it. No one had ever needed you
before, but she was helpless, reliant on you, and you did not let
her down, did you? You almost killed yourself to save her."
"It was a challenge."
Ellese ignored
him. "Now she is safe. She does not appear to need you anymore, and you resent that. But
you are wrong; she still needs you, and so do I."
"What for?"
"To talk to, to be with, to
share our hopes and dreams, fears and disappointments."
"You can do that with
anyone."
"Not really. You are special to
us."
Bane snorted in patent disbelief
and lay down, clasping his hands behind his head.
Ellese searched for the right
words. "I know I am rushing this, but we have so little time."
"Why would you care? Why am I
special to you?"
"After so many years of caring
about you, I feel I know you, and that makes you special to me. You
are like the son I never had."
"My mother is dead."
Elder Mother nodded. "But your
father is not."
Bane raised his head to stare at
her with an almost comically startled expression, then his guard
slammed into place. "What of it?"
"Would you like to meet
him?"
"He does not even know I
exist."
Ellese smiled. "No, but I am
sure he would be overjoyed."
"The lusty woodcutter."
"The Black Lord told you that?"
Ellese's heart sank. What lies had the Black Lord filled Bane's
head with?
"A lusty woodcutter and a love
sick peasant girl."
"Yes, your father is a woodsman,
and your mother was a peasant girl. They loved each other very
much."
"So they conceived me. How
sweet." His voice dripped scorn.
Ellese glared at him, angered by
his attitude. "Yes, they did. Why is that so repugnant to you?"
"I am the product of some lusty
roll in the hay, an afternoon's fornication under a hedgerow. That
hardly fills me with respect for them."
Ellese's voice softened with
sadness, understanding. "Your parents were married for two years.
You would have been their first-born son. You were planned. Very
much wanted. They would have adored you. Your father has pined for
your mother for twenty years."
Bane stared at the ceiling, his
brows knotted, breathing deeply through flared nostrils. She could
sense his rage building from across the room. He seemed to radiate
it in cold waves, and she wondered if he would control it, or
explode. His moods were unpredictable in the extreme.
Bane leapt up in a smooth bound
and hurled himself against the wall, pounding it with his fist, his
forehead pressed to the cold stone. "Damn him! Damn him!"
The thudding of his fist
reverberated around the room, the blows so hard that the rough
stone cut into his skin. Startled and concerned, Ellese went to him
and put a comforting hand on his back, although he flinched from
her touch. She did not need to remind herself that this was a man
who teetered on the brink of self-destruction, whose loathing for
the world was only outstripped by his wish to quit it.
The only reason he still lived
was the tenuous, misunderstood hold that Mirra had on his heart. If
he decided that that was not a good enough reason to continue
living,
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