to do.”
He gently puts his hand on the table, palm side up. Does that mean he wants to hold my hand? I clench my hands, wincing at how warm they are. What if they sweat? That would be embarrassing. “Nursing? That’s great! Did you want dessert? They have ice cream to die for. Here, I’ll get some.” He beckons the waiter before I can respond. I don’t have the heart to tell him I don’t like ice cream, never have. Mo thought I was crazy.
After forcing myself to eat the cold food, I’m glad to be in his car. As first dates go, I guess it was okay. He paid for the meal, held open doors and was nice. What more can a girl ask for?
“Did you enjoy dinner?”
Looking over at him, I can see he truly had a good time. So it’s just me? Am I so wrong in not feeling anything other than boredom? I want to like Cole; I do, but is that possible? I can tell he’s a great friend, but boyfriend?
“Yeah, I did. It all tasted good. Did you?”
“I always do. My family practically lives there.” He beams.
That’s another thing about Cole, he doesn’t know bad things. From what he’s told me, his family is loving and kind people who never let Cole want for anything. He isn’t spoiled or anything, but he’s so different compared to me. That’s what I should want though, right? Someone without baggage? My only problem is, the longer I spend time with him, the less I want to be honest. I feel like if I tell him about my past, I'll taint to him somehow.
“Your family sounds cool. You said you have a sister? What does she do?”
A fond smile reaches his lips. “I have two older sisters actually. Carly and Lola. Carly works as a lawyer and has a daughter, Amelia. Lola is a fashion designer. She’s actually in Paris right now.”
“Wow, remarkable. I’m impressed. And all I want to do is become a nurse.” I laugh.
He reaches over and pats my shoulder. “Nah, nursing is a great job. Lots of work.”
By the time we reach the apartment, I’ve decided to take another chance on him if he asks me out again. He walks me to my door, and I start to get nervous again. Will he kiss me? Do I want him to? Kissing isn’t something I’ve done either. Unless you count the 6th grade play when I played Juliet and had to kiss Romeo on the cheek.
As he leans in closer to me, panic sets in. No, I don’t want to kiss right now. Not outside the door. I always dreamed my first kiss would be magical, not with someone who I’ve known for a day. I need to get to know him a lot better before that happens. Just before he reaches me, the door opens and I sigh in relief. Jaclyn starts to apologize, but I cut her off.
“Thanks, Cole, for dinner. I had a great night. I’ll text you later?” I wait for him to nod before going inside. I can breathe now. I sit down on the couch, kicking off my shoes and wrap my blanket around my shoulders.
“Spill,” Jaclyn demands, her hazel eyes dark with anticipation. Hayley sits down next to me, waiting for the story. I tell them about the night, explaining how nervous I felt. It’s when I get to my conflicting feelings that Jaclyn interrupts.
“Wait, so you don’t want to date him because he’s too normal?”
“I know that makes no sense-“
“It makes perfect sense. You’re worried t he won’t relate to or understand what you’re going through.” I stare at Hayley in surprise.
“How…” I shake my head, lacking the right words to say.
She grimly smiles, understanding in her eyes. “There's nothing wrong with feeling that, but give yourself some time. You don’t have to tell him everything right now.”
Jaclyn is nodding. “She’s right. This is about you being comfortable.”
Tears well up, and I laugh in embarrassment. “Sorry,” I choke out. Their response is hugging. Though Hayley is stiff and obviously uncomfortable, I appreciate the gesture of her trying. Somehow, we all have a common ground: we understand each other’s pain without knowing what it is. That’s what
He gently puts his hand on the table, palm side up. Does that mean he wants to hold my hand? I clench my hands, wincing at how warm they are. What if they sweat? That would be embarrassing. “Nursing? That’s great! Did you want dessert? They have ice cream to die for. Here, I’ll get some.” He beckons the waiter before I can respond. I don’t have the heart to tell him I don’t like ice cream, never have. Mo thought I was crazy.
After forcing myself to eat the cold food, I’m glad to be in his car. As first dates go, I guess it was okay. He paid for the meal, held open doors and was nice. What more can a girl ask for?
“Did you enjoy dinner?”
Looking over at him, I can see he truly had a good time. So it’s just me? Am I so wrong in not feeling anything other than boredom? I want to like Cole; I do, but is that possible? I can tell he’s a great friend, but boyfriend?
“Yeah, I did. It all tasted good. Did you?”
“I always do. My family practically lives there.” He beams.
That’s another thing about Cole, he doesn’t know bad things. From what he’s told me, his family is loving and kind people who never let Cole want for anything. He isn’t spoiled or anything, but he’s so different compared to me. That’s what I should want though, right? Someone without baggage? My only problem is, the longer I spend time with him, the less I want to be honest. I feel like if I tell him about my past, I'll taint to him somehow.
“Your family sounds cool. You said you have a sister? What does she do?”
A fond smile reaches his lips. “I have two older sisters actually. Carly and Lola. Carly works as a lawyer and has a daughter, Amelia. Lola is a fashion designer. She’s actually in Paris right now.”
“Wow, remarkable. I’m impressed. And all I want to do is become a nurse.” I laugh.
He reaches over and pats my shoulder. “Nah, nursing is a great job. Lots of work.”
By the time we reach the apartment, I’ve decided to take another chance on him if he asks me out again. He walks me to my door, and I start to get nervous again. Will he kiss me? Do I want him to? Kissing isn’t something I’ve done either. Unless you count the 6th grade play when I played Juliet and had to kiss Romeo on the cheek.
As he leans in closer to me, panic sets in. No, I don’t want to kiss right now. Not outside the door. I always dreamed my first kiss would be magical, not with someone who I’ve known for a day. I need to get to know him a lot better before that happens. Just before he reaches me, the door opens and I sigh in relief. Jaclyn starts to apologize, but I cut her off.
“Thanks, Cole, for dinner. I had a great night. I’ll text you later?” I wait for him to nod before going inside. I can breathe now. I sit down on the couch, kicking off my shoes and wrap my blanket around my shoulders.
“Spill,” Jaclyn demands, her hazel eyes dark with anticipation. Hayley sits down next to me, waiting for the story. I tell them about the night, explaining how nervous I felt. It’s when I get to my conflicting feelings that Jaclyn interrupts.
“Wait, so you don’t want to date him because he’s too normal?”
“I know that makes no sense-“
“It makes perfect sense. You’re worried t he won’t relate to or understand what you’re going through.” I stare at Hayley in surprise.
“How…” I shake my head, lacking the right words to say.
She grimly smiles, understanding in her eyes. “There's nothing wrong with feeling that, but give yourself some time. You don’t have to tell him everything right now.”
Jaclyn is nodding. “She’s right. This is about you being comfortable.”
Tears well up, and I laugh in embarrassment. “Sorry,” I choke out. Their response is hugging. Though Hayley is stiff and obviously uncomfortable, I appreciate the gesture of her trying. Somehow, we all have a common ground: we understand each other’s pain without knowing what it is. That’s what
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