Read Online Daniel Martin by John Fowles - Free Book Online Page A

pistol. She stares at him a moment, not laughing now, then looks down and turns away towards the centre of the room.
    Dan?
    ‘Jane.’
    A strange mixture in his voice: both warmth and offence, and above all incredulity. There is a tiny pause on the line.
    ‘I feel awful disturbing you like this. So out of the blue.’ A longer pause. She says, ‘Can you hear me?’
    ‘It’s just that yours was the last voice in the world. ‘
    ‘I’m sorry. It was so kind of you to send that message via Caro.’
    ‘I’m only sorry it’s had to be so long.’
    He expects a response to that; but she is silent again. He is trapped in two pasts, an immediate, still in that room, and a very remote; between two things he fears, emotion and unreason.
    ‘How is he?’
    ‘He’s in hospital now. Here in Oxford.’
    ‘It’s such foul luck for you all.’
    ‘We’ve learnt to accept it.’
    Again there is a silence, and he seeks frantically for a reason why this should be sprung on him.
    ‘Is there some treatment over here you want me to ‘I’m afraid it’s beyond that. No one can do anything now.’ Another hiatus. ‘Dan, I’ve been trying to gather courage all week to ring you. I don’t quite know how to say this, after all that’s happened.’ Again she holds back, then plunges. ‘He wants to see you before he dies.’
    ‘To see me!’
    ‘I’m afraid so. Rather desperately.’ She adds, ‘He’s very ill. But quite clearheaded.’
    He feels like a man whose foot finds an abyss instead of a pavement.
    ‘But Jane, with all the sympathy in the world, I mean, all that’s so… ‘ Now he is the one who seeks refuge in silence. He makes his voice less demanding of escape. ‘You two were right, for God’s sake. I’ve long forgiven you both completely. Do tell him that.’ When she doesn’t answer he says, ‘This is what it’s about?’
    ‘Yes… partly.’
    ‘You know. With all my heart. Total absolution. As far as I’m concerned.’
    ‘He particularly asked me to say it’s… unfinished business.’
    ‘But my dear, I… I mean… Well, can’t you just tell him? He can take it as read.’
    ‘It’s not a whim, Dan. I wouldn’t be troubling you otherwise.’
    And she waits; as she always would, once a question was posed, a demand stated. Her pressures were always more those of silence than speech.
    ‘Can I give him a ring?’
    And then complete silence. He says ‘Hallo?’; then again. Then he hears the first voice, Nell’s, sheathed and neutral.
    ‘It’s me again.’
    ‘What’s happened?’
    ‘Nothing… she can’t talk for a moment.’
    ‘Nell, what the hell am I supposed to do? I’ve just offered to ring the hospital.’
    ‘He wants the living presence, I’m afraid.’
    ‘But why, for God’s sake?’
    ‘I don’t really know. Only that he apparently talks of nothing else.’
    ‘I asked Caro to say if I could do anything, before I left.’
    ‘I know. I suppose it’s something to do with dying.’ He feels her searching for a reasonableness. “We’ve tried to explain it’s very difficult for you. But he’s become obsessed by it. I saw him only yesterday evening. It’s not just Jane.’
    ‘I don’t understand why I couldn’t have been given some warning.’
    ‘Jane’s been lying to him. He’s under the impression that she’s been trying to get in touch with you. But she didn’t want to involve you. I’ve only just come in on all this myself. I’m the one who’s finally forced her to do something about it. We’ve been arguing most of the night. You’d better blame me.’
    ‘How long have they given him?’
    ‘Not very long. It’s not only the dying. How long he can talk coherently.’ She added, ‘I understood from Caro that you’d finished with the current film.’
    ‘More or less. It’s not that.’
    ‘Oh yes. There was a photo of her in the Express the other day. Congratulations.’
    ‘Oh for Christ’s sake.’
    She says evenly, ‘If you think it’s been easy for