Read Online Dancing for the Badman (Russian Bratva Book 3) by Hayley Faiman - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Hayley Faiman
Tags: Russian Bratva #3
Ads: Link
mine, but I’m not sure I want her anymore.
Yet, I don’t want another to have her, either— ever .
T HE S T. R EGIS H OTEL is opulent and grand and everything I ever imagined it to be. The suite, however, is beyond anything I could have envisioned. It’s massive, the living area alone bigger than our entire apartment. Kiska is beside herself with glee, running around and checking everything out. I’m too busy staring at the city and the bay below us.
“This room is yours, Kiska, until we leave for Los Angeles,” I overhear Kirill telling her.
I turn to look at him pointing in the direction of the second bedroom. I watch as she quickly rushes into the room to investigate it.
“Where will I be sleeping, then?” I ask, my eyes taking him in. He’s so devilishly handsome that it almost hurts to keep looking at him.
“With me, Tati,” he grunts.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I murmur.
In fact, I know that it’s not a good idea. I’ll want him to hold me, and I’ll get these crazy ideas that we could be more than just physical. My mind will play off of the obvious emotional love that I hold for him. I’ll start to wish and hope and then pray for more. More that he has already said he will not give me. No, I need my own space.
“It is. Kiska needs to get used to it, as do you. You are not leaving me anytime soon. Even if our relationship is less than perfect, we are still together.” He says interrupting my inner thoughts.
“But when we aren’t?” I ask, biting the corner of my mouth, chewing my bottom lip.
“What I do is not your concern. What you do is very much mine,” he states, his cold gaze boring into me.
“That’s a shitty double standard,” I point out as my heart aches. It hurts inside of my chest and I have to hold back the tears that are threatening to fall.
“It may be, but it is life, Tati. It is your life now. We all make decisions that change the course of our lives. You chose to leave me the way you did. To believe a dirty cop. I mourned you and what I thought was the loss of our child.
“Now, the consequences are that you live with my rules. Those rules are that your body is mine. Not a hard concept. You’ll be available to me, and in return you’ll have a place to live, clothes, and food. If you wish to work, whatever money you make is yours to keep for yourself. If you cannot live with these rules, you are free to leave, but Kiska will not be joining you.”
Kirill turns and leaves, walking into the master bedroom and quietly closing the door behind him. His words ring in my ears, over and over again as I turn back and face the calming water. I want to cry, to break things, to throw a tantrum.
I don’t .
Instead, I just stare out, not seeing anything ahead of me but seeing everything else a bit clearer. I love him, I always will, but at what cost? At what cost to me, to my heart, to my soul? It is going to kill me slowly. I must find a way to just resign to this life, to this arrangement .
Kirill wants to hurt me. He thought me dead and that I took the life of his child with me.
I could not imagine the pain that would cause. I should be more compassionate of his feelings. He’s lashing out at me. I have seen glimpses of his true self shine through. Moments where he didn’t seem so callous and hardened by life.
Maybe I can bring him back. Maybe if I love him enough, show him enough affection, and give him all of me, he will forgive me— eventually .
I nod to myself. This plan could work, or it could blow up in my face. I will never know if I don’t try. Anyway, all of this is my fault and nobody else’s.
It is a beautiful thing, seeing a father and daughter together. Kiska and Kirill are like twins. They do little things the exact same way; like the way they scrunch up their noses when they’re trying to think of what they are going to say next. The way they eat their chips, dipped in plain sour cream. It is worth the heartache I will
Yet, I don’t want another to have her, either— ever .
T HE S T. R EGIS H OTEL is opulent and grand and everything I ever imagined it to be. The suite, however, is beyond anything I could have envisioned. It’s massive, the living area alone bigger than our entire apartment. Kiska is beside herself with glee, running around and checking everything out. I’m too busy staring at the city and the bay below us.
“This room is yours, Kiska, until we leave for Los Angeles,” I overhear Kirill telling her.
I turn to look at him pointing in the direction of the second bedroom. I watch as she quickly rushes into the room to investigate it.
“Where will I be sleeping, then?” I ask, my eyes taking him in. He’s so devilishly handsome that it almost hurts to keep looking at him.
“With me, Tati,” he grunts.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I murmur.
In fact, I know that it’s not a good idea. I’ll want him to hold me, and I’ll get these crazy ideas that we could be more than just physical. My mind will play off of the obvious emotional love that I hold for him. I’ll start to wish and hope and then pray for more. More that he has already said he will not give me. No, I need my own space.
“It is. Kiska needs to get used to it, as do you. You are not leaving me anytime soon. Even if our relationship is less than perfect, we are still together.” He says interrupting my inner thoughts.
“But when we aren’t?” I ask, biting the corner of my mouth, chewing my bottom lip.
“What I do is not your concern. What you do is very much mine,” he states, his cold gaze boring into me.
“That’s a shitty double standard,” I point out as my heart aches. It hurts inside of my chest and I have to hold back the tears that are threatening to fall.
“It may be, but it is life, Tati. It is your life now. We all make decisions that change the course of our lives. You chose to leave me the way you did. To believe a dirty cop. I mourned you and what I thought was the loss of our child.
“Now, the consequences are that you live with my rules. Those rules are that your body is mine. Not a hard concept. You’ll be available to me, and in return you’ll have a place to live, clothes, and food. If you wish to work, whatever money you make is yours to keep for yourself. If you cannot live with these rules, you are free to leave, but Kiska will not be joining you.”
Kirill turns and leaves, walking into the master bedroom and quietly closing the door behind him. His words ring in my ears, over and over again as I turn back and face the calming water. I want to cry, to break things, to throw a tantrum.
I don’t .
Instead, I just stare out, not seeing anything ahead of me but seeing everything else a bit clearer. I love him, I always will, but at what cost? At what cost to me, to my heart, to my soul? It is going to kill me slowly. I must find a way to just resign to this life, to this arrangement .
Kirill wants to hurt me. He thought me dead and that I took the life of his child with me.
I could not imagine the pain that would cause. I should be more compassionate of his feelings. He’s lashing out at me. I have seen glimpses of his true self shine through. Moments where he didn’t seem so callous and hardened by life.
Maybe I can bring him back. Maybe if I love him enough, show him enough affection, and give him all of me, he will forgive me— eventually .
I nod to myself. This plan could work, or it could blow up in my face. I will never know if I don’t try. Anyway, all of this is my fault and nobody else’s.
It is a beautiful thing, seeing a father and daughter together. Kiska and Kirill are like twins. They do little things the exact same way; like the way they scrunch up their noses when they’re trying to think of what they are going to say next. The way they eat their chips, dipped in plain sour cream. It is worth the heartache I will
Similar Books
