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Authors: Fannie Flagg
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innocent girls.
Tommie Jo wears colored scarves around her neck, a real Jennifer Jones type. She doesn’t talk to me. I don’t think she likes young children. She sure likes Hank, though. I know this for a fact because the people that rent a room to Hank at the Hammer’s Christian Motel have a vicious grandchild named Gregg. He made me hide outside Hank’s room one night because he had seen Tommie Jo go in there. She turned out the lights and got into bed as a surprise for him when he came home from work.
All I can say is that I feel sorry for Hank because he works very hard and I know he was tired. But when he came home and saw her in the bed, he was a perfect gentleman about it. We could see in the window, he pretended to like her. I’m never going to act like that and throw myself at anyone, not even Cornel Wilde if I ever meet him. Anyway, they are going to get married.
Yesterday the Jr. Debutantes cleaned up the debris at the end of Highway 3 because weather was permitting. Mrs. Dot’s thought for the day was: “If you make friends with the phone and frozen food, then life will be a bowl of cherries.”
In her opinion, Alexander Graham Bell and Clarence Birdseye are the two greatest Americans that ever lived excluding Robert E. Lee. She believes we never lost the War Between the States, that General Lee thought General Grant was the butler and justnaturally handed him his sword. Her family in Memphis had some heirlooms from General Lee, but the only thing General Grant left behind was empty whiskey bottles.
July 12, 1952
Momma got a call from Jackson today. Grandma Pettibone hit the jackpot at bingo and had a heart attack. They took her to the Baptist Hospital and told her not to smoke because of the oxygen tanks in the rooms, but Grandma hid one of her Camels in her hair and smoked one after everybody left. She blew out all the windows in the right wing of the Irondale Baptist Hospital. She wasn’t hurt, but the explosion made a lot of people on the other floors go into heart failure. Anyway, Momma has gone to Jackson and put her in the Methodist Hospital. Grandma says that’s just fine with her because the Baptists are too strict.
Mr. Honeywell and his all-girl army got a bazooka gun, but none of them are strong enough to hold it up. They put it on a wheelchair, but the wheelchair won’t roll in the sand. Too bad, I wanted to see it shoot
At the Jr. Debutantes’ meeting this week Mrs. Dot said we are going to adopt a poor child overseas and be foster parents. Whoever it is will write us every week and thank us. I hope it’s a girl. Imagine growing up and coming over here to meet its parents and seeing me and Kay Bob Benson and the shrimpers’ daughters!
I tried to talk them into adopting an albino child, but Kay Bob Benson had a squealing fit. She gets whatever she wants. She is always having baby-doll-pajama-spend-the-night parties. I sleep in my swimming trunks and I don’t want to go anyway.Mrs. Dot’s thought for the day was: “Nothing endures like personal quality.” Next week we are going to have a talk on accessories, whatever they are, from a woman from the Magnolia Springs Dress Shop. If Momma is still in Jackson, I’ll miss that one for sure.
Angel Pistal is getting to be a pain. I have to put paper sacks on her hands because in her sleep she pulls the tape off her ears and she wants to hear a story every night.
Mr. and Mrs. Pistal are getting their money’s worth. Momma doesn’t like to go to the Blue Gardenia Lounge, but even she couldn’t resist seeing Pegleg Johnson’s act last week. He was wonderful.
There was a singer on the bill named Ray Layne and he was good, too. You should have seen Momma’s face when Pegleg Johnson came over to the table after his act and asked her to dance. She looked so funny. They danced to “Dance, Ballerina, Dance” by Nat King Cole. They did twirls and dips and everything. He picked Momma over everyone in the room!
I wondered if the leg
Tommie Jo wears colored scarves around her neck, a real Jennifer Jones type. She doesn’t talk to me. I don’t think she likes young children. She sure likes Hank, though. I know this for a fact because the people that rent a room to Hank at the Hammer’s Christian Motel have a vicious grandchild named Gregg. He made me hide outside Hank’s room one night because he had seen Tommie Jo go in there. She turned out the lights and got into bed as a surprise for him when he came home from work.
All I can say is that I feel sorry for Hank because he works very hard and I know he was tired. But when he came home and saw her in the bed, he was a perfect gentleman about it. We could see in the window, he pretended to like her. I’m never going to act like that and throw myself at anyone, not even Cornel Wilde if I ever meet him. Anyway, they are going to get married.
Yesterday the Jr. Debutantes cleaned up the debris at the end of Highway 3 because weather was permitting. Mrs. Dot’s thought for the day was: “If you make friends with the phone and frozen food, then life will be a bowl of cherries.”
In her opinion, Alexander Graham Bell and Clarence Birdseye are the two greatest Americans that ever lived excluding Robert E. Lee. She believes we never lost the War Between the States, that General Lee thought General Grant was the butler and justnaturally handed him his sword. Her family in Memphis had some heirlooms from General Lee, but the only thing General Grant left behind was empty whiskey bottles.
July 12, 1952
Momma got a call from Jackson today. Grandma Pettibone hit the jackpot at bingo and had a heart attack. They took her to the Baptist Hospital and told her not to smoke because of the oxygen tanks in the rooms, but Grandma hid one of her Camels in her hair and smoked one after everybody left. She blew out all the windows in the right wing of the Irondale Baptist Hospital. She wasn’t hurt, but the explosion made a lot of people on the other floors go into heart failure. Anyway, Momma has gone to Jackson and put her in the Methodist Hospital. Grandma says that’s just fine with her because the Baptists are too strict.
Mr. Honeywell and his all-girl army got a bazooka gun, but none of them are strong enough to hold it up. They put it on a wheelchair, but the wheelchair won’t roll in the sand. Too bad, I wanted to see it shoot
At the Jr. Debutantes’ meeting this week Mrs. Dot said we are going to adopt a poor child overseas and be foster parents. Whoever it is will write us every week and thank us. I hope it’s a girl. Imagine growing up and coming over here to meet its parents and seeing me and Kay Bob Benson and the shrimpers’ daughters!
I tried to talk them into adopting an albino child, but Kay Bob Benson had a squealing fit. She gets whatever she wants. She is always having baby-doll-pajama-spend-the-night parties. I sleep in my swimming trunks and I don’t want to go anyway.Mrs. Dot’s thought for the day was: “Nothing endures like personal quality.” Next week we are going to have a talk on accessories, whatever they are, from a woman from the Magnolia Springs Dress Shop. If Momma is still in Jackson, I’ll miss that one for sure.
Angel Pistal is getting to be a pain. I have to put paper sacks on her hands because in her sleep she pulls the tape off her ears and she wants to hear a story every night.
Mr. and Mrs. Pistal are getting their money’s worth. Momma doesn’t like to go to the Blue Gardenia Lounge, but even she couldn’t resist seeing Pegleg Johnson’s act last week. He was wonderful.
There was a singer on the bill named Ray Layne and he was good, too. You should have seen Momma’s face when Pegleg Johnson came over to the table after his act and asked her to dance. She looked so funny. They danced to “Dance, Ballerina, Dance” by Nat King Cole. They did twirls and dips and everything. He picked Momma over everyone in the room!
I wondered if the leg
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