could prolong my life by a few months, but I’d just spend the extra time flushing the contents of my stomach and clogging the drain with gobs of my hair.”
He glanced at the braid draped over my shoulder. “Is it the same kind of cancer that took your mom?”
I smiled bitterly. “You’d think so, but nope. She had a brain tumor. Mine started as skin cancer. I ask the doctor to check out a mole on my shoulder and suddenly I’m getting biopsies, blood tests, bone scans, and being told I won’t live to see another birthday. No, Mom’s and my cancers are completely unrelated, like two members of the same family getting hit by bolts of lightning on opposite ends of the world. Lucky, eh?”
He leaned in so close I thought he intended to kiss me. His breath warmed my lips. “Do you like sushi?”
My heart beat double-time. “Listen, Craig, I appreciate the pity date, but honestly the only thing on my mind now is making sure Bella’s going to be taken care of after I’m gone. The last thing either of us needs is to complicate anything. What’s the best that could come of us seeing each other? We fall in love and then your heart gets broken when I die? Is that what you want?”
“You falling in love with me? I can think of worse things.”
“I’ve got a rule against dating masochists.”
He leaned back. “Hey, I’m not talking about complicating anything. I just like your company. I always have. None of us knows how much time we have, Jenny. If you want to get out of the house now and again, I’m not a bad guy to hang out with. Make hay while the sun’s still shining; that’s all I’m saying.”
When I glanced down, I noticed his thumb stroking his knuckles again. His emotions were easier to read than a children’s picture book. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, and if I weren’t dying, I’d go for him in a heartbeat, half a heartbeat, but—
Before I could finish the thought, he sprang up as though something had bitten his behind. He ran over to Isabella, who was swinging frantically, trying to hit the heads of plastic moles. She always swung a second too late, just missing them.
Craig took her hands in his, winked at her, and guided her into smashing every artificial rodent that dared show its face. Isabella squealed in delight as tickets churned out at the end of the game. I sat watching them, a smile playing on my lips, letting myself imagine what life could have, should have, been for us.
Chapter Nine
Isabella and I lay in bed, nestled against one another under several layers of blankets. I wore light flannel and she, a long cotton nightgown. The evening temperature felt more fall than summer, so my grandmother and I decided to give our Freon reserve a break and open the windows.
The coolness of the room reminded me of childhood camping trips—the way the crisp mountain air made the warmth of my sleeping bag a sanctuary I never wanted to leave.
Isabella laid her palm on my cheek. “Mommy, thank you for taking me to Chucky Cheesits.”
“You’re welcome, Bells. Glad you had fun.”
Raising her finger before her eyes, she admired the trinket she’d cashed her tickets in for—a purple spider ring. She looked up at me through long lashes. “Next time I’m going to save for something bigger.”
She said that every time, but the temptation always proved too great when it came time to choose. “I know you can do it.”
She hugged me tight. “Beautiful Mama.”
I kissed her forehead. “Beautiful Bella. I sure do love you.”
“More than anything?”
“So very much.”
She bent her neck to look at me, her eyes now little more than slits.
I hugged her middle and pulled her closer. “Bella, do you like Craig?”
“Uh-huh. Maybe I’ll marry him ’stead of Jimmy.”
“He’s really nice, isn’t he?”
She nodded. “Is he my daddy?”
“No, sweetness, not your daddy.”
“He might be.”
“Trust me on that.”
“Do I have a daddy?”
“God.”
“I mean a
He glanced at the braid draped over my shoulder. “Is it the same kind of cancer that took your mom?”
I smiled bitterly. “You’d think so, but nope. She had a brain tumor. Mine started as skin cancer. I ask the doctor to check out a mole on my shoulder and suddenly I’m getting biopsies, blood tests, bone scans, and being told I won’t live to see another birthday. No, Mom’s and my cancers are completely unrelated, like two members of the same family getting hit by bolts of lightning on opposite ends of the world. Lucky, eh?”
He leaned in so close I thought he intended to kiss me. His breath warmed my lips. “Do you like sushi?”
My heart beat double-time. “Listen, Craig, I appreciate the pity date, but honestly the only thing on my mind now is making sure Bella’s going to be taken care of after I’m gone. The last thing either of us needs is to complicate anything. What’s the best that could come of us seeing each other? We fall in love and then your heart gets broken when I die? Is that what you want?”
“You falling in love with me? I can think of worse things.”
“I’ve got a rule against dating masochists.”
He leaned back. “Hey, I’m not talking about complicating anything. I just like your company. I always have. None of us knows how much time we have, Jenny. If you want to get out of the house now and again, I’m not a bad guy to hang out with. Make hay while the sun’s still shining; that’s all I’m saying.”
When I glanced down, I noticed his thumb stroking his knuckles again. His emotions were easier to read than a children’s picture book. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, and if I weren’t dying, I’d go for him in a heartbeat, half a heartbeat, but—
Before I could finish the thought, he sprang up as though something had bitten his behind. He ran over to Isabella, who was swinging frantically, trying to hit the heads of plastic moles. She always swung a second too late, just missing them.
Craig took her hands in his, winked at her, and guided her into smashing every artificial rodent that dared show its face. Isabella squealed in delight as tickets churned out at the end of the game. I sat watching them, a smile playing on my lips, letting myself imagine what life could have, should have, been for us.
Chapter Nine
Isabella and I lay in bed, nestled against one another under several layers of blankets. I wore light flannel and she, a long cotton nightgown. The evening temperature felt more fall than summer, so my grandmother and I decided to give our Freon reserve a break and open the windows.
The coolness of the room reminded me of childhood camping trips—the way the crisp mountain air made the warmth of my sleeping bag a sanctuary I never wanted to leave.
Isabella laid her palm on my cheek. “Mommy, thank you for taking me to Chucky Cheesits.”
“You’re welcome, Bells. Glad you had fun.”
Raising her finger before her eyes, she admired the trinket she’d cashed her tickets in for—a purple spider ring. She looked up at me through long lashes. “Next time I’m going to save for something bigger.”
She said that every time, but the temptation always proved too great when it came time to choose. “I know you can do it.”
She hugged me tight. “Beautiful Mama.”
I kissed her forehead. “Beautiful Bella. I sure do love you.”
“More than anything?”
“So very much.”
She bent her neck to look at me, her eyes now little more than slits.
I hugged her middle and pulled her closer. “Bella, do you like Craig?”
“Uh-huh. Maybe I’ll marry him ’stead of Jimmy.”
“He’s really nice, isn’t he?”
She nodded. “Is he my daddy?”
“No, sweetness, not your daddy.”
“He might be.”
“Trust me on that.”
“Do I have a daddy?”
“God.”
“I mean a
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