now.
âStarting tomorrow, I want everybody in the weight room an hour before school four days a week,â Stahl says. âIâll post a schedule with stations and reps. Weâll see whoâs serious. Itâs simple. If you donât lift, you wonât play.â
I know I should lift more, but weight lifting doesnât determine how hard you hit or how smart you play. It doesnât matter what I think, though. Thereâs one way now: Stahlâs way.
Later, when we break into first defense, Coach Stahl comes down to talk to us. âMen, there are two types of football players,â he says. âThinking players and reacting players.â
Stahl points to his head. âThinking players observe, analyze, and make correct decisions. These are the players best suited for offense.â
Whatâs his point?
âReacting players donât think; they react. A play happens. Boom. Theyâre on it. These are the players best suited for defense.â
Thinking and reacting arenât separate. You need to do both in football.
âNow, men, as defensive players, you react. When you see movement, you pursue. Youâre lions ready to kill. Donât think. React.â
This is stupid. Dad always says good players are smart players.
âThe coaches will prepare the defense. React properly, and you will be champions. React poorly, youâll be first losers.â He looks at me. âIs that clear?â
Of course not. How do you not think? But nobody, including me, has the guts to say it.
I go to the library because the book I requested is in. The Middle Passage: White Ships, Black Cargo has a picture on the cover of black men with ropes around their necks being guarded by a white soldier. In the distance, a ship waits to take them across the ocean.
I sit down in a chair by the window and open the book. After the introductions, itâs all black-and-white illustrations, one horrible picture after another. The ghostly image of a sailor rips a mother away from her child. Rats gnaw on the bodies of slaves in chains. A diagram of a tightly packed slave ship is imposed on a black manâs body.
But the most disturbing picture is one of people jumping overboard to kill themselves. Sharks swirl around the bodies, and at the bottom of the ocean is a trail of skeletons. I canât get this image out of my mind, and rather than take notes, I stare out the window and imagine the horror.
chapter sixteen
âPain is weakness leaving the body.â Stahlâs pacing around the weight room. Heâs wearing shorts and a blue muscle shirt with B T T R in huge letters.
Iâm finishing ten reps of 110 pounds on the bench. Lifting first thing in the morning isnât my idea of fun.
âPush it, Manning. Push it.â I strain on the last lift. âYouâve got to do better than that,â Stahl says. âWe need strong corners.â
On the next bench, Zach whips off twelve reps of 150. Do the steroids make it that easy? Would I be lifting like that if I were taking them? âThatâs the way, Zach.â Stahl claps. âLookinâ good.â
When we finish, Stahl hands out muscle shirts. âB T T R, men, stands for âbetter than the rest.â Youâve made a commitment to football, a commitment to weight lifting, a commitment to excellence. You are superior to other students. You bleed and sweat for the glory of the school. You are better than the rest.â
I canât believe heâs saying this.
âWear these shirts with pride. You know what B T T R means, but donât tell other kids. They wouldnâtunderstand.â Stahl chomps his gum. âMen, you are members of an elite fraternity. Head off to first period.â
Last year, I remember how proud I felt when I wore my varsity jersey. Everybody in school could see that I was on the team. Now, after chanting yesterday and B T T R today, I feel like Iâm in some
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