English bulldog ambled in. Easily three times Remington’s size, though admittedly, not that much taller—which would have made his job a little easier.
“Come on, Deefer. Where’s Mommy’s girl? Come and give me a kiss.” Deefer obliged and plonked a disgustingly wet nose on Jazlyn’s cheek. Was that slobber hanging from the dog’s mouth? I bolted upright. I don’t respond well to saliva. Dogs, babies, people who leave saliva on the top of a water bottle then offer you a sip—do they think I’m crazy?
“I think I’ve got enough to go on, thanks, Jazlyn.” I swallowed my last mouthfuls of coffee and moved to the front door.
She ambled behind me and waved as I scooted outside. “Drop back any time.”
“I will!”
Outside I saw Matias, camera slung over one shoulder, looking up and down the street. Oh, yes, that’s just what my day needed.
“Matias. What are you doing here?”
“Ah, Fletcher.” He winked. “There’s no business like gnome business. I wanted a piece of the action.”
I narrowed my eyes. “I asked for a photographer. Which you’re not.”
“Well, I’m afraid that’s a mis- gnome -er. I’m a photo-journalist and my contract says I get to take photos occasionally to stop my clicking finger from rusting up.” He took another look up and down the street. “So this is Gnome Central, hey? I gotta admit, it isn’t what I expected.”
The last thing I wanted to hear about was Matias’ expectations of Los Alamos Court. “Drop the attitude or you’ll put the residents off. I’ve spent time building good relationships with these people and they happen to like their street.”
“Yeah, there’s no place like gnome, is there?” He thumped a fist over his heart.
“Matias, you’re an idiot.”
That seemed to please him immensely. “As you’ve previously mentioned, Fletcher. Now what do you want photos of?”
I took him over to the boys’ house, hoping one of them would be awake. After all, it was after ten o’clock. I knocked and waited, encouraged by the sound of music coming from inside—until I realized they probably hadn’t turned it off the night before.
Pedro answered the door in a pair of boxers and a ripped T-shirt. “Hey Laurie, Lukas! It’s that hot writer chick!”
Hmm. I did a quick check for Matias, who was inspecting a potted sagebrush about three feet away, feigning complete disinterest, so I turned back to Pedro. “I was wondering if you guys could help me out.”
Two other tousled heads appeared beside Pedro’s. “Yeah, anything you want, baby.” That must have been Lukas, the drummer I hadn’t met.
“I need some photos of the gnomes. Can you show me the ‘lewd’ positions you’ve been putting them in?”
“Sure, baby,” Lukas drawled. “Do you want me to show you with the gnomes … or do you want a more personal demonstration of the positions?”
Matias appeared at my shoulder and whispered in my ear, “Uh huh. I can see the relationships you’ve been putting time into. You should be ashamed of yourself, you cradle snatcher.”
I kicked him in the shins and smiled at the boys. “Let’s just start with the gnomes. This is our photographer, Matias. You’ll have to speak slowly to him, he’s one of our special employees.”
The boys nodded and gave Matias reassuring smiles before they went to put more clothes on.
Matias grinned. “Nice one, Fletcher. I didn’t know you had it in you.”
Did nothing dent this man’s armor?
The boys reappeared and we followed them out to the gnomes that’d come to visit their front yard. As they joked and moved the three gnomes around into a variety of sexual positions, Matias took photographs and I had to admit I was having fun. In a sort of childish, guilty-pleasure kind of way. Not something I’d ever admit to under questioning, but real enough.
It was almost midday when we finished and I waved Matias off then walked back to my car. I’d met everyone on the street, except the people
“Come on, Deefer. Where’s Mommy’s girl? Come and give me a kiss.” Deefer obliged and plonked a disgustingly wet nose on Jazlyn’s cheek. Was that slobber hanging from the dog’s mouth? I bolted upright. I don’t respond well to saliva. Dogs, babies, people who leave saliva on the top of a water bottle then offer you a sip—do they think I’m crazy?
“I think I’ve got enough to go on, thanks, Jazlyn.” I swallowed my last mouthfuls of coffee and moved to the front door.
She ambled behind me and waved as I scooted outside. “Drop back any time.”
“I will!”
Outside I saw Matias, camera slung over one shoulder, looking up and down the street. Oh, yes, that’s just what my day needed.
“Matias. What are you doing here?”
“Ah, Fletcher.” He winked. “There’s no business like gnome business. I wanted a piece of the action.”
I narrowed my eyes. “I asked for a photographer. Which you’re not.”
“Well, I’m afraid that’s a mis- gnome -er. I’m a photo-journalist and my contract says I get to take photos occasionally to stop my clicking finger from rusting up.” He took another look up and down the street. “So this is Gnome Central, hey? I gotta admit, it isn’t what I expected.”
The last thing I wanted to hear about was Matias’ expectations of Los Alamos Court. “Drop the attitude or you’ll put the residents off. I’ve spent time building good relationships with these people and they happen to like their street.”
“Yeah, there’s no place like gnome, is there?” He thumped a fist over his heart.
“Matias, you’re an idiot.”
That seemed to please him immensely. “As you’ve previously mentioned, Fletcher. Now what do you want photos of?”
I took him over to the boys’ house, hoping one of them would be awake. After all, it was after ten o’clock. I knocked and waited, encouraged by the sound of music coming from inside—until I realized they probably hadn’t turned it off the night before.
Pedro answered the door in a pair of boxers and a ripped T-shirt. “Hey Laurie, Lukas! It’s that hot writer chick!”
Hmm. I did a quick check for Matias, who was inspecting a potted sagebrush about three feet away, feigning complete disinterest, so I turned back to Pedro. “I was wondering if you guys could help me out.”
Two other tousled heads appeared beside Pedro’s. “Yeah, anything you want, baby.” That must have been Lukas, the drummer I hadn’t met.
“I need some photos of the gnomes. Can you show me the ‘lewd’ positions you’ve been putting them in?”
“Sure, baby,” Lukas drawled. “Do you want me to show you with the gnomes … or do you want a more personal demonstration of the positions?”
Matias appeared at my shoulder and whispered in my ear, “Uh huh. I can see the relationships you’ve been putting time into. You should be ashamed of yourself, you cradle snatcher.”
I kicked him in the shins and smiled at the boys. “Let’s just start with the gnomes. This is our photographer, Matias. You’ll have to speak slowly to him, he’s one of our special employees.”
The boys nodded and gave Matias reassuring smiles before they went to put more clothes on.
Matias grinned. “Nice one, Fletcher. I didn’t know you had it in you.”
Did nothing dent this man’s armor?
The boys reappeared and we followed them out to the gnomes that’d come to visit their front yard. As they joked and moved the three gnomes around into a variety of sexual positions, Matias took photographs and I had to admit I was having fun. In a sort of childish, guilty-pleasure kind of way. Not something I’d ever admit to under questioning, but real enough.
It was almost midday when we finished and I waved Matias off then walked back to my car. I’d met everyone on the street, except the people
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