Read Online Convictions by Julie Morrigan - Free Book Online Page A

looked at Tina with venom in her eyes. ‘You’re a poor substitute for your sister.’
    ‘I know, Mum, but I do my best.’ Tina kept her eyes down, got on with clearing the table. She went out with the tray of dishes, put them down on the worktop by the sink and then sagged against it. She put her hands up to her face, then gritted her teeth, determined not to cry. She was sick of crying. She was sick of being blamed. Suddenly angry, she strode back through to the lounge, where Penny still sat, rocking and crooning to herself.
    ‘If you were any kind of a mother, you’d have forgiven me,’ she told her. ‘But no, not you. You’ve punished me every day for years, all for one stupid, childish mistake.’ Penny gave no sign of recognition. ‘You spend all your time thinking about what you don’t have and not even acknowledging what you’ve got.’ Tina raised her voice. ‘Ruth told me something back then, when it first happened. She told me that it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t make that man be a bad man, that was his choice. Any decent man would have taken us home safely, that’s what Ruth told me. And you know what?’ Tina was shouting now, fists clenched. Penny stopped rocking and crooning and looked up. ‘She was right! And you! You! You’re a failure as a woman, and as a mother, and … and … you’re a fucking bitch!’
    Tina had no idea her mother was capable of such swift movement. She was on her feet and across the room in a heartbeat, her hand already moving. The slap knocked Tina off her feet.
    ‘You little viper,’ Penny snarled. ‘You lost your sister and you killed your father and you dare to call me a bitch?’
    Tina pulled herself up onto the couch and sat looking at her mother. Her cheek was stinging and she slowly raised her hand and put it to her face: the heat was palpable.
    ‘I didn’t kill—’
    ‘Your father died from a broken heart, because he lost his little girl. That’s your fault. You want forgiveness? What have you ever done in your life to show you deserve it? You worthless little witch … you make me sick. And you’re going to leave me and go and be a hairdresser in the summer?’
    Tina was shocked: she hadn’t said a word to her mother about her intentions. ‘How do you …?’
    ‘People talk. I know everything. A hairdresser! Your sister would have been a teacher, or a solicitor. An actress or a model if she wanted, she was beautiful and clever. But you, you can’t even be bothered to get an education.’
    ‘I’ll study and train to be a hairdresser. I want my own business.’
    ‘You little fool! What will you ever do to make me proud of you? You say you want forgiveness, but how do you intend to earn it?’ Penny marched out of the room and Tina heard her stamp up the stairs, then slam her bedroom door.
     
    ***
     
    ‘So,’ Ruth asked, when she returned later in the day. ‘Have you come to a decision as to what to do?’
    ‘We’ll go to a hotel,’ said Penny. ‘You can handle a statement.’
    Ruth breathed a sigh of relief. ‘Good. I’ve got all that in hand.’ She took a sip of the tea Tina had made for her. ‘Have you got your bags packed?’
    ‘Yes,’ said Penny.
    Tina cleared her throat. Ruth looked her way and smiled, encouraging her to speak.
    ‘I’m not going to the hotel,’ she said. ‘I’m going to stay with a friend.’ She wound her fingers together. ‘Hilary. We’ve been friends for forever.’
    ‘I remember,’ said Ruth.
    Penny humphed, folded her arms. ‘You have to be awkward,’ she complained.
    ‘It just makes sense, Mum. Hilary can bring me my homework. I have exams soon.’
    ‘Oh, and they’re so important to you.’
    ‘Yes, they are. I need to pass to go to college.’
    ‘College!’
    ‘Mum, please …’
    ‘Okay,’ said Ruth. ‘Enough. You have enough to cope with, without arguing between yourselves.’
    Tina went back to looking at her shoes. ‘I’m ready to go,’ she told Ruth. ‘You take Mum to the