shit, but you just have roll with it, dust yourself off and move on.”
“Nice speech. How’s that been working for you?” I bump shoulders with him playfully.
He sighs. “Yeah, not so great. I figure if I think it, then eventually I’ll feel it.”
I nod. “It’s a good theory. Perhaps I’ll try it.”
“I am sorry to hear about you and Theo. I really thought you guys would make it. The guy seemed so in love with you.” I frown and nod my head as the pain hammers at my chest with every heartbeat. He rubs my arm gently. “I’ve never seen anybody look at anyone the way he looked at you. It was as though the world began and ended with you.” He lowers his head to meet my gaze. His eyes are so dark they’re almost black. “Whatever happened with you guys, what you had was real, never doubt that.” I want to believe him, but it’s not that easy. Especially not when said guy tells you he loves you straight after fucking some random woman and conceiving a child. That’s a rather ropey foundation to build any relationship on.
His eyes move to the window, where the darkened sky leaves the silhouettes of a few trees stark against the indigo sky. “Some people will never experience that kind of love in their lifetime. It is true when they say that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
“But if you’ve never loved at all then you don’t know what you’re missing.”
He smiles sadly. “The heart knows something is missing.” He whispers. I’m not a romantic person, and I’ve never been in the pursuit of love, but speaking to TJ, I’m in awe of his faith. He believes in love, the earth shattering, world changing type of love that can utterly make a person, or completely destroy them. TJ would risk destruction for that love, and it horrifies me at the same time as it inspires me.
George walks back into the room and TJ stands to leave.
“I’ll see you soon Lilly.” He says quietly as he leaves.
I immediately sit next to George. “What did you do to TJ?” I accuse.
He rolls his eyes. “Nothing. Usual story. I stated casual. He got attached.”
“Well, you could have been a bit more delicate. He’s heartbroken, George.” I frown at my hands. Maybe I’m just being over-sensitive and projecting my own emotions onto George and TJ.
He freezes midway through hair spraying and turns his head to me dramatically. “Seriously Lill’s? How many hearts do you think you’ve broken over the years?”
I shrug. “Not many.”
He snorts. “Well, seeing as you’re so oblivious, I’ll tell you. Almost every fuck buddy you’ve had was in love with you.” I blanch.
“That’s bullshit and you know it. It’s just sex.”
He shrugs and starts applying stage make up. “To you maybe, but not to them. I’ve watched many heart broken, rejected little faces leave your room.” He grins. “I even consoled one of them.”
“What?! Who?”
“Enrique. And yes he swung both ways.” He smiles. Enrique was a beautiful Spanish guy I spent a summer fucking whilst he was here studying for a year.
“Oh my god, we’ve like shared a guy.” That’s kind of gross. “Oh god, please tell me he wasn’t a giver, because if we’ve actually shared a cock, that would be fucking weird.” I shriek.
He laughs. “A gentleman never tells.” He does one last check in the mirror before leaving the room to get into costume.
Sneaky bastard totally managed to dodge my TJ probing.
Chapter Five
Theo
Lilly never did call to arrange an appointment. Why does that not surprise me? Well, if that’s how she wants to play it, then I’ll play. I manage to pull a few strings with Simmons and book an appointment to see her. I have a feeling it won’t go down too well, but she should at least be expecting it. She should know that I won’t be dissuaded that easily.
I have a lot I need to say to her, and she’s going to listen. She doesn’t want to talk to me because she
“Nice speech. How’s that been working for you?” I bump shoulders with him playfully.
He sighs. “Yeah, not so great. I figure if I think it, then eventually I’ll feel it.”
I nod. “It’s a good theory. Perhaps I’ll try it.”
“I am sorry to hear about you and Theo. I really thought you guys would make it. The guy seemed so in love with you.” I frown and nod my head as the pain hammers at my chest with every heartbeat. He rubs my arm gently. “I’ve never seen anybody look at anyone the way he looked at you. It was as though the world began and ended with you.” He lowers his head to meet my gaze. His eyes are so dark they’re almost black. “Whatever happened with you guys, what you had was real, never doubt that.” I want to believe him, but it’s not that easy. Especially not when said guy tells you he loves you straight after fucking some random woman and conceiving a child. That’s a rather ropey foundation to build any relationship on.
His eyes move to the window, where the darkened sky leaves the silhouettes of a few trees stark against the indigo sky. “Some people will never experience that kind of love in their lifetime. It is true when they say that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
“But if you’ve never loved at all then you don’t know what you’re missing.”
He smiles sadly. “The heart knows something is missing.” He whispers. I’m not a romantic person, and I’ve never been in the pursuit of love, but speaking to TJ, I’m in awe of his faith. He believes in love, the earth shattering, world changing type of love that can utterly make a person, or completely destroy them. TJ would risk destruction for that love, and it horrifies me at the same time as it inspires me.
George walks back into the room and TJ stands to leave.
“I’ll see you soon Lilly.” He says quietly as he leaves.
I immediately sit next to George. “What did you do to TJ?” I accuse.
He rolls his eyes. “Nothing. Usual story. I stated casual. He got attached.”
“Well, you could have been a bit more delicate. He’s heartbroken, George.” I frown at my hands. Maybe I’m just being over-sensitive and projecting my own emotions onto George and TJ.
He freezes midway through hair spraying and turns his head to me dramatically. “Seriously Lill’s? How many hearts do you think you’ve broken over the years?”
I shrug. “Not many.”
He snorts. “Well, seeing as you’re so oblivious, I’ll tell you. Almost every fuck buddy you’ve had was in love with you.” I blanch.
“That’s bullshit and you know it. It’s just sex.”
He shrugs and starts applying stage make up. “To you maybe, but not to them. I’ve watched many heart broken, rejected little faces leave your room.” He grins. “I even consoled one of them.”
“What?! Who?”
“Enrique. And yes he swung both ways.” He smiles. Enrique was a beautiful Spanish guy I spent a summer fucking whilst he was here studying for a year.
“Oh my god, we’ve like shared a guy.” That’s kind of gross. “Oh god, please tell me he wasn’t a giver, because if we’ve actually shared a cock, that would be fucking weird.” I shriek.
He laughs. “A gentleman never tells.” He does one last check in the mirror before leaving the room to get into costume.
Sneaky bastard totally managed to dodge my TJ probing.
Chapter Five
Theo
Lilly never did call to arrange an appointment. Why does that not surprise me? Well, if that’s how she wants to play it, then I’ll play. I manage to pull a few strings with Simmons and book an appointment to see her. I have a feeling it won’t go down too well, but she should at least be expecting it. She should know that I won’t be dissuaded that easily.
I have a lot I need to say to her, and she’s going to listen. She doesn’t want to talk to me because she
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