Read Online Complete Short Stories by Robert Graves - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Robert Graves
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the stars shining very prettily – you have heard of our beautiful long Polar night, I expect, that goes on month after month without a spot of daylight to help itout? Well, one day – or one night, if you prefer – after breakfast – or after supper if you like – the man Morgan puts on his snowshoes and says to Durnsford: “Coming out for a shuffle, professor?” “All right, major,” Durnsford answers, putting down his book and reaching for his snowshoes.
‘“Durnsford,” I said, “don’t go out!” He asked: “Why?” in a surprised voice, so I said: “Look at the barometer!”Morgan interrupted, saying to Durnsford: “Your imbecile acquaintance has no understanding of barometers. This one has been rock-steady for the last twenty-four hours.”
‘“Durnsford,” I said again, “don’t go out!”
‘Morgan haw-hawed: “Oh, don’t listen to it; come along for a bit of exercise. Leave old Red Nose with his string of sausages and his red-hot poker; he’s not in his best vein these days.”
‘Durnsford hesitated, with one snowshoe already on. He hesitated quite a long time. Finally he took it off again. “Thank you, Mr Johnson,” he said. “I’ll take your advice. I don’t know what you mean about the barometer, but you must certainly understand conditions here better than Major Morgan.”
‘That was good to hear; I had won my game of nap with the man Morgan at last and scooped the kitty.And it wasn’t bluff: the unnatural steadiness of the barometer meant trouble. I had made sure that the shutters were fast some hours before.
‘So Morgan went alone, whistling “Oh, it’s my delight on a starry night in the season of the year,” and two minutes later a creaking and groaning and humming began. Durnsford looked puzzled and thought I was playing a trick. “No,” I said, “it’s only thehouse moving about a little and the cables taking the strain. A capful of wind. But have a look at that rock-steady barometer.”
‘He went over to it, and behold! the creature had gone quite off its chump and was hopping about like a pea in a saucepan. Durnsford was silent for a minute or two and then he said: “Johnson, I know that the major has behaved abominably to you. But don’t you think – ?”
‘“No, dearie,” I said, “your poor old granny is very, very sleepy at the moment, and simply hasn’t got it in her to think thoughts about troublesome majors and the likes of them.”
‘“Oh, stop your jokes, for once!” he shouted, “I’m going out to look for him.”
‘He grabbed his shoes again. So I spoke to him severely and showed him my gun. I said that I didn’t mind his slaying himself if he feltso inclined, but that I drew the line at his killing Old Papa Johnson too. They were double doors; the outer one was steel and the inner one solid two-inch oak planking, with an airlock between them. The moment he unbolted the outer door the wind would get into the air-lock and blow the inner one in and then tear the shack to pieces in three seconds.
‘“But the major?” he gasped. “Won’t he getfrozen to death?”
‘“Your intelligent friend was killed by the first gust of wind a few seconds after leaving the shack,” I said.
‘That blizzard blew without stopping for seventy-two hours; any moment I expected the cables to go. I set myself to learn the Book of Ruth to keep my mind from dwelling on our imminent fate. Then it stopped as suddenly as it began. We found the body only fifty yardsfrom the shack, wedged between two rocks. And you wouldn’t believe it, but that blizzard had got inside one of those big metal cauldrons – twice the size of this room, I’m telling you – and blown it clean into the harbour! As local registrar of births, deaths, and marriages I reported all these occurrences to a distant whaler, a month or two later, and when the tanker eventually turned up, it camewith a letter from the man Morgan’s sister, asking me to put her brother’s
‘“Durnsford,” I said, “don’t go out!” He asked: “Why?” in a surprised voice, so I said: “Look at the barometer!”Morgan interrupted, saying to Durnsford: “Your imbecile acquaintance has no understanding of barometers. This one has been rock-steady for the last twenty-four hours.”
‘“Durnsford,” I said again, “don’t go out!”
‘Morgan haw-hawed: “Oh, don’t listen to it; come along for a bit of exercise. Leave old Red Nose with his string of sausages and his red-hot poker; he’s not in his best vein these days.”
‘Durnsford hesitated, with one snowshoe already on. He hesitated quite a long time. Finally he took it off again. “Thank you, Mr Johnson,” he said. “I’ll take your advice. I don’t know what you mean about the barometer, but you must certainly understand conditions here better than Major Morgan.”
‘That was good to hear; I had won my game of nap with the man Morgan at last and scooped the kitty.And it wasn’t bluff: the unnatural steadiness of the barometer meant trouble. I had made sure that the shutters were fast some hours before.
‘So Morgan went alone, whistling “Oh, it’s my delight on a starry night in the season of the year,” and two minutes later a creaking and groaning and humming began. Durnsford looked puzzled and thought I was playing a trick. “No,” I said, “it’s only thehouse moving about a little and the cables taking the strain. A capful of wind. But have a look at that rock-steady barometer.”
‘He went over to it, and behold! the creature had gone quite off its chump and was hopping about like a pea in a saucepan. Durnsford was silent for a minute or two and then he said: “Johnson, I know that the major has behaved abominably to you. But don’t you think – ?”
‘“No, dearie,” I said, “your poor old granny is very, very sleepy at the moment, and simply hasn’t got it in her to think thoughts about troublesome majors and the likes of them.”
‘“Oh, stop your jokes, for once!” he shouted, “I’m going out to look for him.”
‘He grabbed his shoes again. So I spoke to him severely and showed him my gun. I said that I didn’t mind his slaying himself if he feltso inclined, but that I drew the line at his killing Old Papa Johnson too. They were double doors; the outer one was steel and the inner one solid two-inch oak planking, with an airlock between them. The moment he unbolted the outer door the wind would get into the air-lock and blow the inner one in and then tear the shack to pieces in three seconds.
‘“But the major?” he gasped. “Won’t he getfrozen to death?”
‘“Your intelligent friend was killed by the first gust of wind a few seconds after leaving the shack,” I said.
‘That blizzard blew without stopping for seventy-two hours; any moment I expected the cables to go. I set myself to learn the Book of Ruth to keep my mind from dwelling on our imminent fate. Then it stopped as suddenly as it began. We found the body only fifty yardsfrom the shack, wedged between two rocks. And you wouldn’t believe it, but that blizzard had got inside one of those big metal cauldrons – twice the size of this room, I’m telling you – and blown it clean into the harbour! As local registrar of births, deaths, and marriages I reported all these occurrences to a distant whaler, a month or two later, and when the tanker eventually turned up, it camewith a letter from the man Morgan’s sister, asking me to put her brother’s
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