Read Online Commitments by Barbara Delinsky - Free Book Online Page B

feeling guilty for everything I 70 be doing but can't do. Doreen barges in with tions, and Nicky has been fussier than usual. It's much of a vacation. And yes, you're right, Nicky's n a problem from the start. He is severely and tiply handicapped.' lwoney.' "Where've you been, Nick?
    Haven't you heard a word doctors said?' ",They've said that his development is delayed. He's t slow. That's all. He'll catch up in his own good e.1 ''s not what the doctors say.' ' don't know what to say.' ' you do?' fes. The child needs time and discipline. And he eds to be with other children. You isolate him, rina. He should be in a play group. He needs to be @with normal children his age. If he could see what _4heylre doing,-' @1@ @I My God, Nickv Sabrina cried. A fine wire of frusation. snapped inside her. In a burst of angry energy, ,,she sat up. ' is three years old and he can barely Id up his head. He can't sit. He can't crawl. He can't old things or feed himself or talk. What in the devil Js he going to do in a play group?' She was shaking all ,, but she couldn't stop the words. ' in the devil is a play group going to do with him? Children can be cruel, Nick. They don't mean to be, but they are. You won't be the one who suffers when they stand around, pointing and giggling at him. Maybe they'll use him as a beanball target. Thatd be - ''s enough!' ''s not! Face facts, Nick!' ''re getting hysterical.' She Page 24
    Barbara Delinsky - Commitments
    was on her knees on the bed, swaying slightly 71 but keeping her eyes on her husband. '? Me? What cause would I have for hysterics?
    I've only spent three years in nonstop hell trying to deal with a child who is severely retarded - ' - ' ' I've had no help from you, Nick! You're too busy to lend a hand in the everyday care. You object when I want to see a new doctor or try a different training program. You fight me every step of the way. You deny that there's a problem. Well, there is a problem. And I'll tell you something else. Maybe the reason I can't shake this flu is because I've gotten run down trying to cope with the reality of Nicky and the reality of you and the reality of me ... if there is a me anymore. I sometimes wonder about that. I was a writer when I married you. What am I now? I ' mother!'Nicholas snapped. He was pulling on his sweat suit as quickly as possible. ' was what you wanted to be. Why are you complaining?' ' Nicky isn't just another child!' ' can't custom-order kids, Sabrina. You can't check off the traits you want them to have and expect that you'll get your every wish. So Nicky is highstrung. So he's fussy - ' ''s a godawful wretch most of the time! I love him to pieces, but there are times when I can't stand him. He needs help. I need help. It's getting worse and it'll continue to get worse. He'll just get bigger. That's allul, Nick. just bigger.' Nicholas was back on the chaise, this time tugging on his sneakers. ' God, you're a bitch., ''m a realist. I can't handle this, Nick. I can't take the constant tension and worry. I can't take the physical strain, day in, day out. It's not what I want.' 72 leaving,' he said coolly, heading for the door. be back by eleven.' ou can close your eyes to it, Nick, but it won't go . We have to do something. You may have your but mine's falling apart. There's nothing left of marriage. We barely see each other, and when we we argue. I have no career, no social life. Every of my strength is committed to Nicky, and it no good. I can love him until I'm blue in the face, he isn't ever going to be normal. it's only a matter ; before we have to think about putting him in stitution - door slammed, blotting out the loathbedroom e word. Sabrina continued to kneel on the bed. Her was shallow. Sweat beaded on her upper lip; nightgown was damp. After a minute, she stag-from the bed and made it to the bathroom just in e to lose the tea and crackers she'd eaten so gingerly an hour before. Then, not caring whether it was the wisest thing to do, she