Read Online Come and Join the Dance by Joyce Johnson - Free Book Online Page A

didn’t he see that it would all be so meaningless? She had always liked the word “meaningless”—it was something you said after everything happened to you, when you no longer cared about caring or not caring. It was a graceful way out, a regretful smile over a glass of champagne. “But it would all be so meaningless.” She would flourish that above her emptiness until it fitted her. And Kay would give love and never mention it and perhaps go bankrupt—putting her to shame as she listened outside the bedroom.
    â€œLet’s go soon,” Anthony said. She nodded. Half an hour before, he had said, “Let’s split,” and she had said “Soon” and ordered another cup of coffee, somehow reluctant to leave, afraid of missing something.
    Now she saw a man and a girl turn the corner two blocks away and begin to walk down Broadway, the girl shapeless in a black sweater, lagging a bit behind the man, whose walk had a peculiar uneven rhythm. He looked straight ahead, never back at the girl, who now and then caught up with him. She could not see their faces. It was difficult at first to tell that they were together. Susan watched them through the window coming closer and closer.
    A block away. There was still time to put down her cup, say, “Okay, let’s go,” pay the check, walk out and rescue the afternoon. Now Anthony was talking about taking her to the Frick Museum. “The Met’s too big. I go out of my mind there. There I am digging a Rembrandt and I’m thinking about the Japanese paintings I haven’t seen yet and the whole goddamn Greek wing, and I feel like running because I haven’t got time, because in two hours they’re going to close up the place.” Susan nodded absently, watching the two figures in the street. “But you don’t understand. For most of my life I didn’t see anything, anything at all. Then—New York. Wow! Too much.” Anthony shook his head sadly. “Too much. Hey, stop looking out the window!”
    â€œThere’s Kay and Peter,” she said. She had been waiting for them all along. But it was only to see them, to see the fact of them together.
    â€œWhere? Listen, let’s leave anyway. I want to talk to you.”
    â€œI just want to see Kay a minute.” She was beginning to feel completely treacherous.
    â€œYeah. A minute,” Anthony jeered.
    They were crossing the street. Anthony stood up and waved to them through the glass. They saw him and waved back. It seemed to her that she had planned everything, even the waving.
    â€œSpies! Spies!” Anthony hooted as they came into Schulte’s. Everyone was laughing. She laughed too. She saw now that Peter and Kay had the same faces they always had. You couldn’t tell that they had made love to each other. Kay smiled at her in a rather embarrassed way and seemed to be trying to whisper something about being sorry. “Listen,” Peter was saying, “the system is inescapable. You might ask us to sit down.”
    â€œBreakfast or lunch, Peter?” said Anthony.
    â€œYou son of a bitch! I’ll just have coffee. Have to get back to work. That’s what Kay says, anyway.”
    â€œHave something to eat—some eggs,” Kay said softly.
    â€œBut I never have eggs. I exist mainly on the Chinese dinner and the kindness of friends.” He paused as if he expected them to laugh, but the words had been too elaborate. The odd thing was that what he said was probably true. Susan wondered why she liked him. “Why do you always try to feed me, Kay?”
    â€œIt’s an old Jewish custom,” Kay muttered.
    â€œBut it’s much more sinister than that. Kay wants to fatten me up so that I’ll make my contribution to mankind. You should always walk behind me too, Kay, with a little bell, so that I won’t waste any more of my time. Do I have fifteen minutes left to have my coffee and get