Read Online Come Alive by Jessica Hawkins - Free Book Online Page B

good person. She
never judged anyone, because she just wanted everyone to live their lives. Davena was always on
my side.”
    “We’re
on your side. Everyone wants you to be happy.”
    I
smiled weakly. “You’re a good friend. Let’s go back before I ruin the weekend.”
    “You’re
not ruining anything. I just want things to get better. I thought they were
getting better.”
    Even
if David hadn’t reopened the wounds, they were still painfully fresh. Something
felt off, wrong, with the house in Oak Park and with life in general. But to
have David in front of me, to smell him, to look into his eyes – it made
my heart race, but in the right way.
    “They
are,” I assured her finally. “Things are getting better.” It wasn’t at all
convincing, but I was so tired of pretending. All the time. It was exhausting. What had David said to me? ‘ It’s nothing compared to keeping it inside. I can’t hide it like you.’
    I
walked back to the patio without another word, knowing Lucy would follow.
Everyone had returned to merry conversation, and nobody noticed our return.
Except David, whose eyes were fixed on me. I allowed
myself a quick glance in his direction. His expression was unreadable, which agitated
me, but there was no pity in it. He looked almost angry when his gaze shifted
over to Bill.
    At
a pause in the conversation, Bill kissed my hair. “All right?” he asked. He
looked tired, I noticed. I only nodded with a quick smile.
    As
we spilled out of the Greenes ’ home, we took turns
wishing Lucy and Andrew a good trip. I avoided David and took off for the car
but immediately wished I hadn’t. I watched from afar as Bill approached him.
While I debated whether or not to interfere, David handed him something, and
they shook hands. I bit my nail as Bill took eons to cross the pebbled
driveway, rocks crunching loudly under his feet. The question burned at the tip
of my tongue. Once we were driving away, I couldn’t hold it in any longer.
    “What
did he give you?” I blurted.
    “Who?”
    I
grasped my earlobe between my fingers and hesitated. “David.”
    “Oh,
his card. We’re going to try and set something up this week. Jeanine’s been on
my ass about what she should tell the owners.”
    “Can’t
we just hire an appraiser or something?”
    “We’ll
do that too, but I need his expert advice on what it’ll cost to renovate.”
    “Why?”
    “Because,
babe, I don’t want to make an offer until I know what it’ll set us back.”
    “No,
why him?”
    “Sounds
like he knows what he’s talking about, according to Andrew. Plus, if I don’t
have to pay someone, all the better.”
    “Aha,”
I muttered under my breath. I should have guessed, since saving money was one
of Bill’s favorite hobbies.
    “Something
bothering you, sweet cheeks?” he asked sardonically.
    I
huffed in my seat and looked away. I’d brought this on myself, so why was I
taking it out on Bill? The threat of Bill and David forming a friendship was
too real. Fuck. Seriously, fuck. Now that
he’s dating Dani , will he be around all the time?
    Bill
sighed, and I cast a sidelong glance at him. How could I have danced with David
in front of everyone? Why didn’t I leave when I’d found him in the kitchen? I
was playing with fire, but when in his company, I didn’t care. I just wanted
more of him. I wondered what Bill had seen in the kitchen. Had he heard David’s
question about moving on? I flipped on the air conditioning in the suddenly stifling
car.
    Whether
Bill knew it or not, I was hurting him. Directly, indirectly, it was my fault
he couldn’t perform the night before. I had changed something between us
without him even knowing.
    In
the beginning, I had been drawn to Bill’s confidence. He was independent and
successful. Things with him had been simple, gradual. But the traits that had
attracted me to him also had their downsides. He was attentive when it was
convenient for him. He was even keeled, like our relationship.