Read Online Cocktail Hour by Tara McTiernan - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Tara McTiernan
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solution. Sometimes, when you adopt, that's when you get pregnant. It's the pressure: it's removed, you relax. You know you worry too much. If we adopted a little boy or girl, you could focus on him or her and maybe then..." He stopped and just shook his head, looking longingly at the computer screen and the cherubic child's face displayed there.
Kate looked at Grant. This was the one thing that bothered her about her husband. He'd always gotten exactly what he wanted in life. Never had to really struggle or suffer. And now that they were trying to get pregnant and hadn’t been successful right away, he was giving up. But she had experienced what it was like to struggle, to want things and never get them, to wish upon and star and wait, hoping. First it had been toys, later boys. Her only wish-come-true was Grant, her knight in shining armor. If it wasn't for him, she'd probably either be working the family farm back in Vermont beside her older siblings and parents or married into similar financial straits. If it wasn't for her one granted wish, she'd never be this happy, this hopeful. But she still understood, deeply, that most things that you wished for did not come true. You just had to keep on wishing, keep on trying. Grant had no such knowledge and it frustrated her.
And for him to bring up David in this conversation, that was another thing. Poor David. Her younger brother - though still adorable, his eyes and face still round - was intellectually disabled and needed more care than her family could afford to give him. Now he lived in a group home and worked at the nearby Price-Rite grocery store, bagging groceries and corralling carts. When she visited him at his new home, the staff members were kind and the house solid though beleaguered, but the raucous noise the other residents made was jarring and the meals that were served came from cans and boxes, never freshly prepared. He'd smile so brightly at her and her family when they visited in the group home's living room or back at the farm for dinner, but when she asked about how he was doing, was everything okay, he seemed frighteningly uncertain.
The fact that they could never afford to do more for David killed Kate inside. But it was a fact, along with the hard life they lived farming - a life that was idealized by people who didn't experience it, people like Grant who thought it was quaint and picturesque, Kate a little milkmaid. And now Grant was making light of adoption, as if it was no big deal.
"No, Grant. I want to keep trying?" she said, fighting the tears she felt building.
He nodded and turned to look at her at last. "Okay. It was just an idea," he said, before glancing again at the computer screen and the time displayed there. "Hey, it's getting late. Don't you have a cocktail hour to go to with your BFF?" He smiled and wiggled his eyebrows at her.
"Oh, stop. You're being silly?" she said and laughed a little, gratefully feeling the tension leave the room.
"We better get home so you can take the car. I guess we're going to have to buy another car at last. We can afford it now."
Kate felt a splash of excitement zing through her and bugged her eyes out at him. "Really? I've never had my own. It's such a weird idea?" She tried to imagine it: her own car.
"No, it's actually pretty normal. You're going to have to get citified, my little milkmaid. We're not in Kansas anymore."
Kate laughed at his echo of her thoughts and was surprised to hear a mild bitterness in her voice when she said, "You can say that again. So, should we go?"
He leaned over, casting one last lingering look at the little boy on the adoption website, and shut off his computer before standing up. "Let's do it."
As they walked down the hall toward reception together, Grant put an arm around her and she leaned into him, glad that Janice had left and removed her and Grant's usual agreed-upon in-office formality. He leaned over and kissed the top of her head and she turned her face
Kate looked at Grant. This was the one thing that bothered her about her husband. He'd always gotten exactly what he wanted in life. Never had to really struggle or suffer. And now that they were trying to get pregnant and hadn’t been successful right away, he was giving up. But she had experienced what it was like to struggle, to want things and never get them, to wish upon and star and wait, hoping. First it had been toys, later boys. Her only wish-come-true was Grant, her knight in shining armor. If it wasn't for him, she'd probably either be working the family farm back in Vermont beside her older siblings and parents or married into similar financial straits. If it wasn't for her one granted wish, she'd never be this happy, this hopeful. But she still understood, deeply, that most things that you wished for did not come true. You just had to keep on wishing, keep on trying. Grant had no such knowledge and it frustrated her.
And for him to bring up David in this conversation, that was another thing. Poor David. Her younger brother - though still adorable, his eyes and face still round - was intellectually disabled and needed more care than her family could afford to give him. Now he lived in a group home and worked at the nearby Price-Rite grocery store, bagging groceries and corralling carts. When she visited him at his new home, the staff members were kind and the house solid though beleaguered, but the raucous noise the other residents made was jarring and the meals that were served came from cans and boxes, never freshly prepared. He'd smile so brightly at her and her family when they visited in the group home's living room or back at the farm for dinner, but when she asked about how he was doing, was everything okay, he seemed frighteningly uncertain.
The fact that they could never afford to do more for David killed Kate inside. But it was a fact, along with the hard life they lived farming - a life that was idealized by people who didn't experience it, people like Grant who thought it was quaint and picturesque, Kate a little milkmaid. And now Grant was making light of adoption, as if it was no big deal.
"No, Grant. I want to keep trying?" she said, fighting the tears she felt building.
He nodded and turned to look at her at last. "Okay. It was just an idea," he said, before glancing again at the computer screen and the time displayed there. "Hey, it's getting late. Don't you have a cocktail hour to go to with your BFF?" He smiled and wiggled his eyebrows at her.
"Oh, stop. You're being silly?" she said and laughed a little, gratefully feeling the tension leave the room.
"We better get home so you can take the car. I guess we're going to have to buy another car at last. We can afford it now."
Kate felt a splash of excitement zing through her and bugged her eyes out at him. "Really? I've never had my own. It's such a weird idea?" She tried to imagine it: her own car.
"No, it's actually pretty normal. You're going to have to get citified, my little milkmaid. We're not in Kansas anymore."
Kate laughed at his echo of her thoughts and was surprised to hear a mild bitterness in her voice when she said, "You can say that again. So, should we go?"
He leaned over, casting one last lingering look at the little boy on the adoption website, and shut off his computer before standing up. "Let's do it."
As they walked down the hall toward reception together, Grant put an arm around her and she leaned into him, glad that Janice had left and removed her and Grant's usual agreed-upon in-office formality. He leaned over and kissed the top of her head and she turned her face
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