mixed in with visits to the pool, sauna and steam
room. As I look at the card with all of this on, it’s plain as day that most of
these things were booked so I’d look nice for Christmas at Clive’s parents. I get
a sudden lurch in my stomach as I remember his text, which I’ve managed to put
out of my mind for nearly a minute and a half.
I still can’t quite believe it. Partly, I can’t quite
believe that Clive is such a suck-up to his company and that what he does for a
living has an absolute priority over everything else. It could be the other way
around, of course. It could be that I’m just not that important to him in the
scheme of things and it doesn’t really matter whether he spends Christmas with
me or not. Or I’m not being realistic about the way things really are in the
world. I’m naïve and silly, that must be it!
I haven’t replied to his text yet and I’m not sure I want
to. What do you say to a message like that? Something like:
Such a shame! Will lk frward to xmas at yr mums, though! BTW
– fck off
The detoxifying seaweed wrap lady is lovely. I wasn’t sure
what to expect, as I’d never had one of these things before, so when she starts
brushing my whole body, I wondered what she was doing! She explained that she
was applying small amounts of salt onto my skin and then brushing it in to help
with exfoliation before applying the seaweed gunk (she didn’t call it that).
Surprisingly, this all-over brushing is making me feel
rather frisky. I must recommend it to Rebecca!
She’s about thirty-five, I would guess, her name is Katie
and she has a soft Yorkshire accent. After she’s exfoliated me and my entire
skin surface is tingling, she starts to rub the seaweed clay into my body.
Suddenly, the room begins to smell of the seaside and is rather nice in a
nostalgic way. Reminds me of going on holiday when I was in school.
My mum and dad used to take us to Ilfracombe almost every
year and my sister and I used to spend hours on the beach every day doing not
very much, really. Just mucking around in rock pools and the like. My only
specific memory is when I hit my sister on the head with a toy spade and made
her head bleed. I got a smack for that, I can tell you!
Before she starts the treatment, she gives me a fruit drink,
which has some seaweed in it as well.
‘You’re going to be sweating a fair bit. This will stop you
getting dehydrated.’
I gulp it down in one, but regret this immediately, as it
actually tastes quite nice.
‘OK. Now just lie down and relax. Have you had one of these
before?’
‘No. My first time. Do I have to lick it all off when you’ve
finished?’
She laughs. It’s a high, tinkly laugh. ‘Of course! Didn’t
you read the brochure?’
She massages the seaweed glop into my skin. It’s lovely and
warm. I can almost feel all of the nutrients seeping into each individual pore.
‘How long are you staying here for?’
‘This is my last day.’
‘Oh, right! Have you enjoyed yourself?’
‘It’s been lovely. Met a few interesting people, too!’
‘I’ll bet. Have you got anything on for Christmas this
year?’
Oh god! Does everyone have to ask about bloody Christmas all
the time! I can’t be rude to her, so I’ll just have to make something up.
‘Just me and my boyfriend. We’re just having a quiet
Christmas at home. Just the two of us. We’re not one for parties or anything
like that. Just watch a few films. I’m going to try cooking duck this year
instead of turkey. I’ve always found turkey a bit dry, as a meat.’
Well, there’s the evidence. I must be truly out of my mind!
I’ll be telling her I’m a helicopter pilot next, with eleven adopted kids!
‘Same as me, then. My boyfriend doesn’t like all the fuss. I
haven’t done any of the food shopping yet, though. I’ll probably do it this
weekend like everyone else. Last minute. Actually, now you mention it, I might
try duck for a change. I’ve only ever had it from a Chinese
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