and this will be the first Christmas since you were born that you haven’t been at the table for dinner.”
“I’m sorry. I just need a break. To recharge my batteries,” she quoted Adèle.
“You’ve been working very hard,” her mother allowed. “But then again, you do every year.” She got up from the table when the kettle whistled and poured the water over loose leaves in a pot shaped and painted like a gingerbread house. “Does Cole Douchett have anything to do with this sudden urge to leave town?”
Kelli was glad her mother’s back was turned as she steeped the tea, because she feared her expression would give her away.
“Not really.”
“But he’s one of the reasons?” Laura brought the pot to the table on a reindeer trivet and poured the fragrant tea into a cup that matched the tree plate.
Kelli knew better than to lie to her mother. “I’ve loved him forever, Mama,” she said, scooping some sugar from a bowl and stirring it into the tea. “I thought that after last Christmas I’d gotten over him. I mean, I certainly tried hard enough this past year—”
“Including dating a man who, while very nice, was so wrong for you.”
“True. But that’s over.”
“So Adèle told me. She also said you’d fixed him up with a new girlfriend.”
Kelli shrugged. “Like you said, Brad’s a nice guy.”
She could’ve done worse. But he wasn’t the man she wanted. Sometimes she wondered if any man could ever live up to the masculine perfection of Cole Douchett shimmering in her mind. What if she was destined to spend her life alone, playing doting auntie to her brothers’ children?
Wasn’t that a depressing idea?
She added another, larger scoop of sugar to her tea.
“Anyway, it was obvious that Patty, from the school, is in love with him. And from the way he seemed to be floating on cloud nine last night when he told me about the two of them going out for a late supper at the Sea Mist after the program, I’d say it’s reciprocal.”
“That’s lovely. But it doesn’t address your relationship with Cole.”
“I know. And it’s honestly another reason I want to get away for just a few days. I need to decide what to do about him.”
“Do you want him?”
“Like I want to breathe. But it’s complicated.” She might be in love. But she did, after all, still have her pride. Not to mention it had taken a very long time to put all those shattered pieces of her heart back together again.
After polishing off the piece of coffee cake and allowing herself to be talked into taking the rest of the cake to the cabin, she exchanged gifts with her mother, promising to open one on Christmas Eve. A cherished family tradition, going back to when she and her brothers were young, was that each of them could open a single gift before going to bed after midnight Mass.
“It’ll be as if we’re all together in spirit,” her mother said as she handed her that special Christmas Eve gift in a box wrapped in the familiar Dancing Deer Two silver Christmas foil.
• • •
The snow on the road up into the mountains to Rainbow Lake was fresh, wet, and slick, and it appeared Kelli was ahead of whatever plows the county might be sending out.
“Are we having fun yet?” she muttered as she cautiously maneuvered around a particularly nasty curve, trying to stay in tire ruts that were getting filled by the moment as the snow fell faster and thicker. Although she’d turned on her headlights, the beam merely bounced against the wall of snow.
Deep purplish black shadows, cast by the towering, shaggy fir trees lining the road, had her feeling as if she were driving through a narrow white tunnel. She could have been the only person in this wooded world, which wasn’t the least bit encouraging.
The only sound was the crunch of the snow beneath the tires and the voices on the radio, which kept announcing road closures all over the western part of the state.
“Well, you’ve always wanted a
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