Christmas at the Hummingbird House

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Book: Christmas at the Hummingbird House by Donna Ball Read Free Book Online
Authors: Donna Ball
Tags: Humorous, Literature & Fiction, Genre Fiction, Holidays, General Humor, Humor & Satire
anyone but Purline.
    “These here are the twins,” Purline said, “Jacob and Joshua.  They started kindergarten this year.  Boys, this is Mr. Paul and Mr. Derrick. ”
    “Well, now,” said Paul, clearly feigning enthusiasm, “fine-looking young men, I’m sure.  But, Purline, I’m afraid we really can’t have them playing in the toolshed.  There are far too many dangerous things in there.”
    Purline looked skeptical.  “How would you know?  The last time you were anywhere near the toolshed was to unlock it for the yard man.”
    “And I’m afraid that goes for the silverware, too,” Derrick said, ignoring her.  He took a hesitant step forward, smiling apologetically at the little girl, and snatched the candlestick from her hand.  “I’m sorry, my dear, but some of these pieces are quite valuable. Surely you can find a nice coloring book instead?”
    Purline gave him an exasperated look and took the candlestick.  “She’s not playing with it, she’s polishing it.  Didn’t you say all that silver had to be done by Friday?”
    “Well, yes, but …”
    “Mr. Derrick,” put in young Naomi earnestly. “What is valuable?”
    Derrick put on his kindest smile as he bent down to her.  “It means worth a lot of money.”
    “Or it can mean ‘treasured,’” added Paul.
    “In whichever case,” said Derrick, “it means you must take very good care of it because it’s not a toy.”
    “We need a lot of money,” said one of the twins behind him.
    Both Paul and Derrick looked at him, concerned.  “You do?”
    The two boys nodded gravely.  “We have to buy a goat.”
    “A goat?”
    Naomi explained, “To send to Africa.”
    “So the children can go to school,” added one of the twins.
    “And have shoes,” said the other.
    Paul looked at Purline helplessly, “I’m afraid I’m lost. You’re sending a goat to Africa?”
    “It’s their Christmas project for Sunday School,” she explained. “You know, the goat makes milk, the milk makes cheese, they sell the cheese, the goat has babies, they sell the babies, the babies have babies and pretty soon everybody in town is making cheese and buying shoes and going to school.”
    “Oh!” exclaimed Derrick, enlightened.  “Well, we’ll be glad to contribute, of course.  How much do you need?”
    She gave him a quelling look.  “Get your own goat.  This is for the kids.”
    “But,” Paul put in, “surely a little help …”
    “The Lord helps those who help themselves,” she interrupted firmly, and turned to the boys.  “Did you find the rake in the shed where I said it was?”
    The two of them nodded, in unison, and replied, in unison, “Yes, ma’am.”
    “Then get out there and start raking out the flower beds like I showed you.  When you get a nice big pile, you come on in and I’ll make you a grilled cheese.”
    “Yes, ma’am!”
    The twins raced out, slamming the door behind them.  Purline returned the candlestick to the little girl and gave her a pat on the bottom.  “Go on, scoot.  We both’ve got to get ourselves back to work.”
    “Purline,” said Paul, alarmed, “we really can’t ask your children to work for us.”
    “You don’t have to,” returned Purline. “I am.”
    “But,” objected Derrick, “there are child labor laws!”
    “It’s their holiday!” added Paul.  “Surely they could just sit quietly and … and watch television or something?”
    She scowled at them.  “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop, everybody knows that, and I’m raising good Christian children.  You think I’m gonna go to all the trouble to feed them and put clothes on their backs and nurse them when they’re sick and carry them back and forth to school every day for eighteen years just to see them end up in federal prison?  No sirree, you can bet I won’t!  My kids are going to learn the value of a dollar just like I had to when I was their age.  Besides,” she added, picking up her dustcloth again, “how

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