Christmas at the cabin that she would spend alone. Her mother went on a cruise with her sorority sisters. Jenny tried to get her to go along, but Paxton refused to go. They hadn’t talked too much since their session with Dr. Keeler. They both knew that it didn’t go well and they were slowly retracting to their own corners again. Paxton had an individual session with Dr. Keeler in about an hour, the last one before the holidays.
She didn’t know what she was going to do for the next few days. Ryan and Duke said they were stopping by to make sure she wasn’t alone for the holidays but she still felt empty. Paxton still felt like she was missing something, someone. She sighed and played with her left ring finger. She missed her ring. She still had a faint tan line that hadn’t quite disappeared yet. She missed Jack ev en though she hated to admit it, she did. It was over between them, he was with Kenleigh and she was alone. Sure she had Duke but she couldn’t love him like he deserved to be loved. Paxton knew she couldn’t love someone a much as she loved Jack, as he was her once in a lifetime love.
Her phone buzzed signaling she had thirty minutes to get to her appointment. She got up and stretched. She was already ready to go to her appointment, so she just grabbed her purse and shoved her phone inside of it. She was just letting herself have a self-indulging moment of depression. That’s how she looked at it. She needed a moment to dwell in self-pity but now it was over, time to focus on her day and moving forward. She couldn’t have Jack anymore and she needed to find something else. She couldn’t be consumed by him any longer. He wasn’t hers to keep.
***
Paxton sat in Dr. Keeler’s office. She curled up on her normal side of the couch. She leaned into the arm rest and waited for Dr. Keeler to signal that she was ready. Paxton was an open book and she often looked forward to her visits with Dr. Keeler, with the exception of her joint appointments with her mother now. She thought of Dr. Keeler as her friend, someone she could unload on, even though she was paid for it. Paxton saw Dr. Keeler take a sip of her coffee and set it back down. Even though it was middle of the afternoon, Dr. Keeler always had coffee. Once she set it down, Paxton knew Dr. Keeler was ready to begin.
“How are we doing today Paxton?” Dr. Keeler always started by asking her that. Paxton smiled at the routine.
“I’ve been better,” she said looking over at Dr. Keeler. Paxton pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them. She wrapped her arms around waiting for Dr. Keeler to ask her to elaborate.
“What’s going on? What has you down?” Dr. Keeler tilted her head to the side as she waited for an answer.
Right on cue , Paxton thought.
Keeping her chin resting on her knees, Paxton opened up, “It’s the holidays and it’s the first one I will be spending without anyone around. Duke and Ryan said they would stop by but I will be alone most of the time.” She saw Dr. Keeler write something down but Paxton never worried about it. She never cared what Dr. Keeler wrote. She waited until the pen stopped moving. Paxton looked down at the floor before continuing. “Duke said the Jack has finally moved on. He is with someone else.”
“Do you believe him?”
“I’m not sure. He was just in New York for a conference and he went to go see him. Jack told him that he was with Kenleigh now. That he was moving on, not wasting any more time.” Paxton didn’t want to delve into her stalking habits. She still couldn’t find any pictures of them together but maybe that’s because he didn’t want to start the rumor mill back in Bridge Heights.
“How are you taking the news?”
“I don’t know. I am bummed because I know that I can’t love anyone else the way I love him. I feel like I messed up big time and I won’t be able to get him back. I mean I am in my
She didn’t know what she was going to do for the next few days. Ryan and Duke said they were stopping by to make sure she wasn’t alone for the holidays but she still felt empty. Paxton still felt like she was missing something, someone. She sighed and played with her left ring finger. She missed her ring. She still had a faint tan line that hadn’t quite disappeared yet. She missed Jack ev en though she hated to admit it, she did. It was over between them, he was with Kenleigh and she was alone. Sure she had Duke but she couldn’t love him like he deserved to be loved. Paxton knew she couldn’t love someone a much as she loved Jack, as he was her once in a lifetime love.
Her phone buzzed signaling she had thirty minutes to get to her appointment. She got up and stretched. She was already ready to go to her appointment, so she just grabbed her purse and shoved her phone inside of it. She was just letting herself have a self-indulging moment of depression. That’s how she looked at it. She needed a moment to dwell in self-pity but now it was over, time to focus on her day and moving forward. She couldn’t have Jack anymore and she needed to find something else. She couldn’t be consumed by him any longer. He wasn’t hers to keep.
***
Paxton sat in Dr. Keeler’s office. She curled up on her normal side of the couch. She leaned into the arm rest and waited for Dr. Keeler to signal that she was ready. Paxton was an open book and she often looked forward to her visits with Dr. Keeler, with the exception of her joint appointments with her mother now. She thought of Dr. Keeler as her friend, someone she could unload on, even though she was paid for it. Paxton saw Dr. Keeler take a sip of her coffee and set it back down. Even though it was middle of the afternoon, Dr. Keeler always had coffee. Once she set it down, Paxton knew Dr. Keeler was ready to begin.
“How are we doing today Paxton?” Dr. Keeler always started by asking her that. Paxton smiled at the routine.
“I’ve been better,” she said looking over at Dr. Keeler. Paxton pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them. She wrapped her arms around waiting for Dr. Keeler to ask her to elaborate.
“What’s going on? What has you down?” Dr. Keeler tilted her head to the side as she waited for an answer.
Right on cue , Paxton thought.
Keeping her chin resting on her knees, Paxton opened up, “It’s the holidays and it’s the first one I will be spending without anyone around. Duke and Ryan said they would stop by but I will be alone most of the time.” She saw Dr. Keeler write something down but Paxton never worried about it. She never cared what Dr. Keeler wrote. She waited until the pen stopped moving. Paxton looked down at the floor before continuing. “Duke said the Jack has finally moved on. He is with someone else.”
“Do you believe him?”
“I’m not sure. He was just in New York for a conference and he went to go see him. Jack told him that he was with Kenleigh now. That he was moving on, not wasting any more time.” Paxton didn’t want to delve into her stalking habits. She still couldn’t find any pictures of them together but maybe that’s because he didn’t want to start the rumor mill back in Bridge Heights.
“How are you taking the news?”
“I don’t know. I am bummed because I know that I can’t love anyone else the way I love him. I feel like I messed up big time and I won’t be able to get him back. I mean I am in my
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