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Authors: Jordyn Tracey
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was her lifeline. She stared down at the bed too scared to meet his eyes. Tears spilled over her lids and splashed onto her cheeks.
“I had a dream that you told me you love me,” he whispered.
“I…”
“Is it true, Fawn?” he asked, sounding almost as desperate as she felt. “A nurse told me you were here to see me every day. Why did you come, Fawn? I know your boyfriend wouldn’t like you being so attentive to another man.”
She blinked at him. “Boyfriend? What boyfriend?”
He glanced at Kevin. “Wait in the hall until Fawn comes back to get you, okay, buddy? I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”
Kevin hugged him one more time and then went into the hall. He shut the door behind him. John looked back at her. Her stomach began to hurt at his intense stare, even though she’d done nothing wrong. There had been no one but him since they began dating. At the rate she was going, there would never been anyone but him ever again. She couldn’t bear the thought of seeing another man.
“Just before that incident with Kevin, I came by your place to try to work things out, but unfortunately, another man beat me there. I heard you call him Mackie. That was the name of your ex-boyfriend, wasn’t it? It was late when I came, and I couldn’t imagine it was a social call.”
She froze. He had been there? He’d seen Mackie come in her place and must have spotted how she’d been dressed too. Nothing she said would turn things now. Nothing at all. She began to cry harder and tried to pull away from him. He held on and winced in pain at her tug.
“Stop, John. You’ll hurt yourself,” she begged.
“Don’t try to pull away from me, Fawn. Tell me the truth. Tell me everything. It’s the only way to resolve all our issues.”
She looked away. “Can they ever be resolved? You think I’m not good enough to be Kevin’s mother. I agree with you. That I love him doesn’t matter.”
His hand moved from her lap to her cheek. “Talk to me, Fawn.”
She took tissue from the box on his side table and wiped her nose. “I got it into my head that if I went back to Mackie, all the hurt I was feeling over you would go away—or at least ease. He had left several messages over the time I was dating you, but I always deleted them without calling him back. Guess the new girl dumped him. Anyway, that night I called him up, and he was still interested. I admit I invited him over for sex. I was going to numb the pain with him. I told him I loved you, but it hadn’t worked. I told him I wasn’t over you. He didn’t care.”
John’s hand fell to the bed, and he turned his head. Fawn was shocked to see tears in the hardened detective’s eyes, but he blinked them away and tightened his jaw. He stared at the ceiling saying nothing.
“I let him touch me, but—”
“I don’t need to hear anymore,” he interrupted.
“But it was so gross, I asked him to stop.”
John looked at her with hope in his eyes.
“I couldn’t go through with it. I am apparently doomed to suffer over losing you, knowing it was my own dumbness. And I’m glad that Mackie is a lot of bad things, but he’s not a rapist. He took my no for no and left.” She laughed. “Well not without cussing me out and calling me a tease.”
John chuckled. “Yeah, you are a tease.” His gaze dropped to her cleavage. She covered it.
“I would have worn something more respectable, but I grabbed the first thing. I need to tone down the way I dress and act.”
“Don’t change a thing, Fawn.” He took her hand, and they threaded their fingers together. “I love you just the way you are, and Kevin does too. I was the one wrong. I shouldn’t have said the things I did or even considered them. You’re a good woman. You’ve brought light into my life and into Kevin’s life. We were lost without you. I want to spend my life making up for how I behaved. If you’ll only give me a chance, I promise to do everything in my power to make you
“I had a dream that you told me you love me,” he whispered.
“I…”
“Is it true, Fawn?” he asked, sounding almost as desperate as she felt. “A nurse told me you were here to see me every day. Why did you come, Fawn? I know your boyfriend wouldn’t like you being so attentive to another man.”
She blinked at him. “Boyfriend? What boyfriend?”
He glanced at Kevin. “Wait in the hall until Fawn comes back to get you, okay, buddy? I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”
Kevin hugged him one more time and then went into the hall. He shut the door behind him. John looked back at her. Her stomach began to hurt at his intense stare, even though she’d done nothing wrong. There had been no one but him since they began dating. At the rate she was going, there would never been anyone but him ever again. She couldn’t bear the thought of seeing another man.
“Just before that incident with Kevin, I came by your place to try to work things out, but unfortunately, another man beat me there. I heard you call him Mackie. That was the name of your ex-boyfriend, wasn’t it? It was late when I came, and I couldn’t imagine it was a social call.”
She froze. He had been there? He’d seen Mackie come in her place and must have spotted how she’d been dressed too. Nothing she said would turn things now. Nothing at all. She began to cry harder and tried to pull away from him. He held on and winced in pain at her tug.
“Stop, John. You’ll hurt yourself,” she begged.
“Don’t try to pull away from me, Fawn. Tell me the truth. Tell me everything. It’s the only way to resolve all our issues.”
She looked away. “Can they ever be resolved? You think I’m not good enough to be Kevin’s mother. I agree with you. That I love him doesn’t matter.”
His hand moved from her lap to her cheek. “Talk to me, Fawn.”
She took tissue from the box on his side table and wiped her nose. “I got it into my head that if I went back to Mackie, all the hurt I was feeling over you would go away—or at least ease. He had left several messages over the time I was dating you, but I always deleted them without calling him back. Guess the new girl dumped him. Anyway, that night I called him up, and he was still interested. I admit I invited him over for sex. I was going to numb the pain with him. I told him I loved you, but it hadn’t worked. I told him I wasn’t over you. He didn’t care.”
John’s hand fell to the bed, and he turned his head. Fawn was shocked to see tears in the hardened detective’s eyes, but he blinked them away and tightened his jaw. He stared at the ceiling saying nothing.
“I let him touch me, but—”
“I don’t need to hear anymore,” he interrupted.
“But it was so gross, I asked him to stop.”
John looked at her with hope in his eyes.
“I couldn’t go through with it. I am apparently doomed to suffer over losing you, knowing it was my own dumbness. And I’m glad that Mackie is a lot of bad things, but he’s not a rapist. He took my no for no and left.” She laughed. “Well not without cussing me out and calling me a tease.”
John chuckled. “Yeah, you are a tease.” His gaze dropped to her cleavage. She covered it.
“I would have worn something more respectable, but I grabbed the first thing. I need to tone down the way I dress and act.”
“Don’t change a thing, Fawn.” He took her hand, and they threaded their fingers together. “I love you just the way you are, and Kevin does too. I was the one wrong. I shouldn’t have said the things I did or even considered them. You’re a good woman. You’ve brought light into my life and into Kevin’s life. We were lost without you. I want to spend my life making up for how I behaved. If you’ll only give me a chance, I promise to do everything in my power to make you
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