smelling like roses.â
I nod.
âCome on now,â Mom urges. âWhat we need is food. Canât expect an army to war on empty stomachs.â
Everybody shuffles off toward the house. Except me.
âEllie, I brought home sweet-and-sour porkâyour favorite. And enough egg rolls to build the Great Wall of China.â
I shake my head. Iâm not hungry. Actually, even the thought of my favorite Chinese food makes me want to hurl. And that reminds me that Dream canât throw up. She has to keep everything bad inside of her.
While theyâre all inside eating dinner, I stay in the lean-to and talk to my horse. Iâm not sure if she knows Iâm here with her or not.
âIâm so sorry you have a stomachache, Dream. I wish I could do something to make it better. Iâm praying. But Iâve done so many rotten, selfish things lately. I donât know what good my prayers are going to do you. I didnât mean to let you down. Or everybody else, either. I just wanted people to see you like I see you. Youâre the best horse in the whole world. So you have to get better. Okay? Please get better, Dream. Please? I canât lose you.â
I stop talking because Iâm choking on my words. I swipe my eyes with the back of my arm.
Colt and Ethan come back out after theyâve eaten. They sit with Dream and me for a long time. But I guess they donât know what to say any more than I do. They donât even talk to each other.
A little later Mom comes out and tells us a story about Granny and a sick coyote she rescued when she was a little girl. It must be a funny story because Ethan and Colt laugh. But I donât hear much of it. Iâm listening to Dreamâs scratchy breath. It sounds like sleet landing on a plastic bag.
Dad comes out a few times. He pats Dreamâs head, reaching from as far away as possible. âThereâs a good horse,â he says. âYou get all that colic and whatnot out of you.â
Dad strokes Dreamâs white blaze for several minutes, murmuring to her. He doesnât even mention the barrel campaign or how his big presentation went.
I donât ask. I canât even look my dad in the eyes.
Then he goes back in, leaving Ethan and Colt and me sitting around in silence. Pinto Cat curls up next to Ethan, but she doesnât purr.
After a while, Mom and Dad come and get Ethan for bed. Mom says Colt and I can stay a little longer.
âAnybody want a sweatshirt?â Mom asks. âItâs getting chilly con carne out here.â
I hadnât noticed. But when she mentions it, I shiver.
It seems like only a couple of minutes have passed when Mom calls from the back door, âTime for bed!â
âI canât leave Dream,â I tell Colt. Tears spring into my eyes. âYou have to tell Mom I need to stay with my horse.â
Colt gets to his feet. He stamps one foot like itâs gone to sleep. âEllie, thereâs nothing you can do out here.â
Pinto Cat must agree with him. The calico struts out of the lean-to and disappears deep into the yard.
âThere is something I can do. I can stay with Dream. Itâs not much. But I can at least be here with my horse.â The moon leaks through tiny cracks in the wood, making stripes across Coltâs shirt. âI canât leave Dream. You wouldnât leave Bullet.â
He stares at me, and I think I see shiny tears in the corners of his eyes. âI get it. Iâll tell your mom.â He starts to go. Then he stops. When he turns around, his whole face is lit by shiny moonlight. âAnd Iâll pray.â
Then he turns and runs into the house.
Did Colt just say heâd pray?
Colt Stevens doesnât even like it when I talk to him about God. But he said heâll pray. Heâll pray for Dream.
15
Godâs Lap
Mom tries calling me in to bed again. But I canât go.
âPlease, Mom?â I shout.
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