ass.” He scrubbed a hand down his face.
“I’m in love with Sam.”
“I know. I know,” he whispered. “You already said that.” He tossed the pillow onto the couch.
“I’m going upstairs. I’ll see you in the morning?” I wanted to run to my room and hide.
“Yeah, okay.” When I turned away, he grabbed my hand. “Heven, I’m really sorry. I don’t want to mess up our friendship.”
I sighed. “It’s all right, Cole.” He hugged me and I let him. When I pulled back, he threw himself down on the couch. On my way out of the room, I noticed that the blinds were still open and went to close them. I looked out into the dark and an eerie feeling of being watched ran up my spine. I pulled them down and took off upstairs, heart pounding.
Once there, I shut the door and sagged against it. Some movement across the room caught my eye and had me straightening in defense.
“It’s just me,” Sam said, standing up from the bed.
“Sam.” I pressed a hand to my chest. “You scared me.”
“It was probably hard to hear me come in when you were downstairs with Cole.”
Had he seen Cole kiss me? My hands were shaking and I felt sick. How did everything get so messed up? I made a sound in the back of my throat.
“What’s going on, Heven? I thought you weren’t going to tell him anything. What’s he doing here?”
What on earth was I going to say?
Sam
I parked my truck and climbed out, locking the door and stuffing the keys into my pocket. I didn’t really think anyone would bother it out here at the edge of Gran’s property, practically hidden among the trees and bushes, but I locked it anyway—out of habit I guess. Protecting what was mine seemed to be ingrained in me. It wasn’t something that I could turn off; it was automatic, just like breathing. I wondered how I had gotten this way. Well, I knew how, but when had it become a part of me? It must have been a gradual change, happening slowly over time until it became all I knew.
I walked through the dark, wondering if Heven was asleep by now. I was late, a lot later than I wanted to be, but Logan needed me. Maybe I should have stayed with him like I did the other night but… I really wanted, no needed, a break. He had another one of his “fits,” as I had come to think of them, again tonight. It was really hard to watch—to not be able to do anything about. For someone who was decidedly protective, not being able to protect my own brother was driving me crazy.
But how do you protect someone from themself?
The night had started out fine. We grabbed some burgers and fries for dinner, rented the new Transformer’s movie and went to our place. I didn’t turn the movie on right away; for some reason, sitting in front of the TV while we ate bothered me. I worked so much and spent a lot of time with Heven. The time that I did have for Logan, I didn’t want to spend it with us watching TV and not talking. A memory of my brother and I sitting around the dinner table with Mom and Dad flashed into my head. She never let us watch TV during dinner. She made us turn everything off because it was family time. I guess I learned that from her. Man, it used to make me so mad. I smiled at the memory. “Why?” I would whine, mad that I couldn’t watch whatever the latest cartoon was.
“Because I want to hear all about your day. Because I like to see my son’s faces.”
I brushed away the memory when my chest began to feel tight. Those times were over. But Logan was really struggling to adapt to his new life and I wanted to attempt to give him some kind of normal.
“So I was thinking we could go out to the woods that border the farm this weekend,” I told him, tentatively. We wouldn’t ever go back to the woods that bordered Sebago Lake again, but even though it had been horrible last time, I still really felt like trying again was something that he needed to do. “Work on how to control—”
And just like that, it was like a
“I’m in love with Sam.”
“I know. I know,” he whispered. “You already said that.” He tossed the pillow onto the couch.
“I’m going upstairs. I’ll see you in the morning?” I wanted to run to my room and hide.
“Yeah, okay.” When I turned away, he grabbed my hand. “Heven, I’m really sorry. I don’t want to mess up our friendship.”
I sighed. “It’s all right, Cole.” He hugged me and I let him. When I pulled back, he threw himself down on the couch. On my way out of the room, I noticed that the blinds were still open and went to close them. I looked out into the dark and an eerie feeling of being watched ran up my spine. I pulled them down and took off upstairs, heart pounding.
Once there, I shut the door and sagged against it. Some movement across the room caught my eye and had me straightening in defense.
“It’s just me,” Sam said, standing up from the bed.
“Sam.” I pressed a hand to my chest. “You scared me.”
“It was probably hard to hear me come in when you were downstairs with Cole.”
Had he seen Cole kiss me? My hands were shaking and I felt sick. How did everything get so messed up? I made a sound in the back of my throat.
“What’s going on, Heven? I thought you weren’t going to tell him anything. What’s he doing here?”
What on earth was I going to say?
Sam
I parked my truck and climbed out, locking the door and stuffing the keys into my pocket. I didn’t really think anyone would bother it out here at the edge of Gran’s property, practically hidden among the trees and bushes, but I locked it anyway—out of habit I guess. Protecting what was mine seemed to be ingrained in me. It wasn’t something that I could turn off; it was automatic, just like breathing. I wondered how I had gotten this way. Well, I knew how, but when had it become a part of me? It must have been a gradual change, happening slowly over time until it became all I knew.
I walked through the dark, wondering if Heven was asleep by now. I was late, a lot later than I wanted to be, but Logan needed me. Maybe I should have stayed with him like I did the other night but… I really wanted, no needed, a break. He had another one of his “fits,” as I had come to think of them, again tonight. It was really hard to watch—to not be able to do anything about. For someone who was decidedly protective, not being able to protect my own brother was driving me crazy.
But how do you protect someone from themself?
The night had started out fine. We grabbed some burgers and fries for dinner, rented the new Transformer’s movie and went to our place. I didn’t turn the movie on right away; for some reason, sitting in front of the TV while we ate bothered me. I worked so much and spent a lot of time with Heven. The time that I did have for Logan, I didn’t want to spend it with us watching TV and not talking. A memory of my brother and I sitting around the dinner table with Mom and Dad flashed into my head. She never let us watch TV during dinner. She made us turn everything off because it was family time. I guess I learned that from her. Man, it used to make me so mad. I smiled at the memory. “Why?” I would whine, mad that I couldn’t watch whatever the latest cartoon was.
“Because I want to hear all about your day. Because I like to see my son’s faces.”
I brushed away the memory when my chest began to feel tight. Those times were over. But Logan was really struggling to adapt to his new life and I wanted to attempt to give him some kind of normal.
“So I was thinking we could go out to the woods that border the farm this weekend,” I told him, tentatively. We wouldn’t ever go back to the woods that bordered Sebago Lake again, but even though it had been horrible last time, I still really felt like trying again was something that he needed to do. “Work on how to control—”
And just like that, it was like a
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