best friend,” he says. “I want to be your friend, but I want to be a lot more than just a friend.”
“Why? You hardly know me. I could be a complete bitch.”
“I already know your a bitch. No. You’re not a bitch. It’s just a front. You’re out of your element here. And while part of you wants to hop on a plane and go home, the other part of you already likes it here.”
He’s good. And he’s right. I don’t want him to be right. Because I don’t want to like it here. And part of me does. Maybe I need this change. It has been kind of nice not having my mom hound me.
“Have you ever wished you could live another life?” I ask him.
“Can’t say that I have.”
“Well, I have. One where my parents aren’t divorced, and we are a normal family. One where my sisters aren’t famous, and one where my life isn’t totally screwed up,” I tell him. And I don’t know why I’m telling him. Maybe it’s because he reminds me of Aaron. And I miss Aaron.
“Normal is overrated.”
“We don’t have to be normal. Maybe just toned down a bit,” I say. “Sometimes I hatebeing Candice York’s little sister. Actually, not just sometimes. All the time. It’s embarrassing, and I can’t even tell my mom. She wants me to be just like Candice. She’s disappointed that I’m not. She is probably happy to be rid of me.”
“Maybe being here with your dad will be a good thing.”
“Doubtful. He just wanted me here so he could control me. I go from my mom controlling me to my dad controlling me.” But at least he supports what I want and isn’t trying to push me to be a model.
“My dad is pretty controlling too, but I realized it isn’t that he wants to control me. He wants what is best for me. He just has a really bad way of showing it. Your dad is probably like mine.”
“No. My dad is cruel. He accused me of having sex with my best friend. I’m not, nor have I ever. But when I told him he didn’t believe me. The only reason he doesn’t like Aaron is because he has two dads. His real mom didn’t want him, so he was adopted by a gay couple, and they love him. And best of all they love each other. Which is why I spent so much time at their house. I felt… normal when I was there. Which sounds weird. Trust me, I know. But it’s true.”
“Things will get better,” he says. “As you get older, your relationship with you parents will change. Right now they’re just being overprotective because they’re about to lose control. You’re about to turn eighteen. Plus you’re the baby of the family, which makes it that much worse.”
“He has hardly been apart of my life. Why does he get to decide now that he suddenly does care?”
“Maybe he’s always cared. Maybe he’s just never showed it before.”
Maybe. But probably not. “He threatened my mom, which is the only reason why I’m here. If he cares, he has a funny way of showing it.”
“Guys aren’t really that great at showing their feelings.”
I start to protest. Because Aaron has alwaysbeen open about his feelings. But then I remember — he has gay dads. His dads always taught him that it was okay to show emotions. Being emotional isn’t a weakness. Most guys aren’t like that.
“What about you, Tristan? Are you good at showing your emotions?”
“Nope,” he answers honestly. “I’m almost as bad as my dad. But at least I realize it. I plan on doing something about it. Dad will never change.”
The heavy conversation that we are having now is a little depressing. So I decide to change the subject. “I’ve decided that New York isn’t going to be so bad.”
“What makes you say that?”
“You. You’re alright. You’re not the stuck up douche bag I thought you were.”
He laughs. “I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not. But I’ll take it.”
Inviting Tristan over — BEST. IDEA. EVER.
THURSDAY, AUGUST 1
10am
Moving on.
Tristan ended up staying until about two in the morning. We talked, but
“Why? You hardly know me. I could be a complete bitch.”
“I already know your a bitch. No. You’re not a bitch. It’s just a front. You’re out of your element here. And while part of you wants to hop on a plane and go home, the other part of you already likes it here.”
He’s good. And he’s right. I don’t want him to be right. Because I don’t want to like it here. And part of me does. Maybe I need this change. It has been kind of nice not having my mom hound me.
“Have you ever wished you could live another life?” I ask him.
“Can’t say that I have.”
“Well, I have. One where my parents aren’t divorced, and we are a normal family. One where my sisters aren’t famous, and one where my life isn’t totally screwed up,” I tell him. And I don’t know why I’m telling him. Maybe it’s because he reminds me of Aaron. And I miss Aaron.
“Normal is overrated.”
“We don’t have to be normal. Maybe just toned down a bit,” I say. “Sometimes I hatebeing Candice York’s little sister. Actually, not just sometimes. All the time. It’s embarrassing, and I can’t even tell my mom. She wants me to be just like Candice. She’s disappointed that I’m not. She is probably happy to be rid of me.”
“Maybe being here with your dad will be a good thing.”
“Doubtful. He just wanted me here so he could control me. I go from my mom controlling me to my dad controlling me.” But at least he supports what I want and isn’t trying to push me to be a model.
“My dad is pretty controlling too, but I realized it isn’t that he wants to control me. He wants what is best for me. He just has a really bad way of showing it. Your dad is probably like mine.”
“No. My dad is cruel. He accused me of having sex with my best friend. I’m not, nor have I ever. But when I told him he didn’t believe me. The only reason he doesn’t like Aaron is because he has two dads. His real mom didn’t want him, so he was adopted by a gay couple, and they love him. And best of all they love each other. Which is why I spent so much time at their house. I felt… normal when I was there. Which sounds weird. Trust me, I know. But it’s true.”
“Things will get better,” he says. “As you get older, your relationship with you parents will change. Right now they’re just being overprotective because they’re about to lose control. You’re about to turn eighteen. Plus you’re the baby of the family, which makes it that much worse.”
“He has hardly been apart of my life. Why does he get to decide now that he suddenly does care?”
“Maybe he’s always cared. Maybe he’s just never showed it before.”
Maybe. But probably not. “He threatened my mom, which is the only reason why I’m here. If he cares, he has a funny way of showing it.”
“Guys aren’t really that great at showing their feelings.”
I start to protest. Because Aaron has alwaysbeen open about his feelings. But then I remember — he has gay dads. His dads always taught him that it was okay to show emotions. Being emotional isn’t a weakness. Most guys aren’t like that.
“What about you, Tristan? Are you good at showing your emotions?”
“Nope,” he answers honestly. “I’m almost as bad as my dad. But at least I realize it. I plan on doing something about it. Dad will never change.”
The heavy conversation that we are having now is a little depressing. So I decide to change the subject. “I’ve decided that New York isn’t going to be so bad.”
“What makes you say that?”
“You. You’re alright. You’re not the stuck up douche bag I thought you were.”
He laughs. “I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not. But I’ll take it.”
Inviting Tristan over — BEST. IDEA. EVER.
THURSDAY, AUGUST 1
10am
Moving on.
Tristan ended up staying until about two in the morning. We talked, but
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