Read Online Change of Heart 05 - Forging the Future by Mary Calmes - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Mary Calmes
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whispered.
“Everyone but his son hurts him, and we all figured it was because Ilia has some of you in him, and now we just confirmed it.”
“What is he like?”
“Logan?” Crane asked.
“Yes.”
He turned to his wife. “What’s Logan like?”
Her smile was beautiful as she focused on me. “He is the kind of man you pray to be able to serve—he’s like a great king from olden times.”
“Who always does what’s right,” Andrian chimed in.
“Yes,” Artem agreed. “He can always be counted on to make the best choice.”
“And he normally does it, except where you’re concerned.” Crane cackled. “With you, he has no idea what the hell he’s doing.”
Artem laughed. “No, he does not.”
Yusuke joined in. “You get under his skin, Jin, and it’s wonderful.”
“You make him so happy,” Andrian said, chuckling, “and crazed.”
“Why?”
“He’s very contained normally,” Yusuke sighed happily. “He’s unflappable, and then you get near him and he’s sputtering and cursing and growling, and the joy you bring him is just… magical.”
Crane nodded. “God, I’ve missed hearing him laugh.”
“Yes,” Artem agreed. “I’ve forgotten what that sounds like.”
Andrian reached toward me, probably to squeeze my hand in shared affection, but he stopped himself in midmotion.
“I’m sorry,” I said automatically. “I shouldn’t have mentioned anything.”
“Of course you should have, my reah,” Andrian soothed. “I just wanted to tell you that it will be really good to see Logan smile again. The scowl has been etched on his face so long, I was beginning to worry that it might be all we’d ever see.”
“You have to understand,” Yusuke said urgently, leaning forward. “Your semel is golden. His hair, his eyes, his skin—all of him is gold, and when the light is gone from him, he doesn’t even look like himself. He’s not Logan Church anymore.”
“No,” Crane muttered. “He’s not him. His joy’s gone, and with it his warmth and kindness and that strength that we all count on… it’s just not there.”
“Make no mistake,” Yusuke murmured, “he’s still a powerful, fearsome semel, but unfortunately, right now, that’s all there is. Even if he had a yareah, that person could soothe him a bit.”
“But because he has a reah, because he has you,” Crane explained, “the void you left is deeper and darker.”
It was so sad, and it was all because of me, because of whatever choice I’d made. I’d left him missing me and powerless to do anything about it, and more than anything, as lonely and lost as I was. I’d reduced a good, kind, strong man to a shell of his former self. All I wanted was to see him and touch him and repair the hole in his heart. I prayed he’d allow me to try.
“He works very hard not to show us all how angry and desolate and wounded he is, but he’s not the man he was,” Andrian made clear.
“It’s funny,” Crane said with a grin, “but everyone who meets Logan Church falls in love with him just a little. He’s bigger than life. He’s strong and honest, and you know he’ll protect you with everything in him, and it’s like he’s royal, you know? He’s like a king, as Yusuke said: you see him and want to serve. You want to be whatever he needs, if only for a moment.”
“Normally,” Yusuke apprised me, “he spreads warmth wherever he goes. But without you… Jin… that’s gone. He’s cold now.”
And what if, because of that, I’d broken him? Maybe, with my leaving, I’d doused Logan Church’s light forever. Or worse, perhaps he was slowly rebuilding his life in secret and me returning, not knowing him, broke his heart irrevocably so that he was useless to both his son and his tribe? How could I, in good conscience, even see him?
“Stop,” Crane said out of the blue, and all of us at the table regarded him. “Did you hear me?”
“Oh, you were talking to me?”
“Of course I was talking to you,
“Everyone but his son hurts him, and we all figured it was because Ilia has some of you in him, and now we just confirmed it.”
“What is he like?”
“Logan?” Crane asked.
“Yes.”
He turned to his wife. “What’s Logan like?”
Her smile was beautiful as she focused on me. “He is the kind of man you pray to be able to serve—he’s like a great king from olden times.”
“Who always does what’s right,” Andrian chimed in.
“Yes,” Artem agreed. “He can always be counted on to make the best choice.”
“And he normally does it, except where you’re concerned.” Crane cackled. “With you, he has no idea what the hell he’s doing.”
Artem laughed. “No, he does not.”
Yusuke joined in. “You get under his skin, Jin, and it’s wonderful.”
“You make him so happy,” Andrian said, chuckling, “and crazed.”
“Why?”
“He’s very contained normally,” Yusuke sighed happily. “He’s unflappable, and then you get near him and he’s sputtering and cursing and growling, and the joy you bring him is just… magical.”
Crane nodded. “God, I’ve missed hearing him laugh.”
“Yes,” Artem agreed. “I’ve forgotten what that sounds like.”
Andrian reached toward me, probably to squeeze my hand in shared affection, but he stopped himself in midmotion.
“I’m sorry,” I said automatically. “I shouldn’t have mentioned anything.”
“Of course you should have, my reah,” Andrian soothed. “I just wanted to tell you that it will be really good to see Logan smile again. The scowl has been etched on his face so long, I was beginning to worry that it might be all we’d ever see.”
“You have to understand,” Yusuke said urgently, leaning forward. “Your semel is golden. His hair, his eyes, his skin—all of him is gold, and when the light is gone from him, he doesn’t even look like himself. He’s not Logan Church anymore.”
“No,” Crane muttered. “He’s not him. His joy’s gone, and with it his warmth and kindness and that strength that we all count on… it’s just not there.”
“Make no mistake,” Yusuke murmured, “he’s still a powerful, fearsome semel, but unfortunately, right now, that’s all there is. Even if he had a yareah, that person could soothe him a bit.”
“But because he has a reah, because he has you,” Crane explained, “the void you left is deeper and darker.”
It was so sad, and it was all because of me, because of whatever choice I’d made. I’d left him missing me and powerless to do anything about it, and more than anything, as lonely and lost as I was. I’d reduced a good, kind, strong man to a shell of his former self. All I wanted was to see him and touch him and repair the hole in his heart. I prayed he’d allow me to try.
“He works very hard not to show us all how angry and desolate and wounded he is, but he’s not the man he was,” Andrian made clear.
“It’s funny,” Crane said with a grin, “but everyone who meets Logan Church falls in love with him just a little. He’s bigger than life. He’s strong and honest, and you know he’ll protect you with everything in him, and it’s like he’s royal, you know? He’s like a king, as Yusuke said: you see him and want to serve. You want to be whatever he needs, if only for a moment.”
“Normally,” Yusuke apprised me, “he spreads warmth wherever he goes. But without you… Jin… that’s gone. He’s cold now.”
And what if, because of that, I’d broken him? Maybe, with my leaving, I’d doused Logan Church’s light forever. Or worse, perhaps he was slowly rebuilding his life in secret and me returning, not knowing him, broke his heart irrevocably so that he was useless to both his son and his tribe? How could I, in good conscience, even see him?
“Stop,” Crane said out of the blue, and all of us at the table regarded him. “Did you hear me?”
“Oh, you were talking to me?”
“Of course I was talking to you,
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