Read Online Cause Celeb by Helen Fielding - Free Book Online Page A

Malcolm was wearing a yellow T-shirt and a hat, which looked as though it had something stupid written on it. And next to him, looking away from Betty and across to the camp, was the new doctor, who was of medium height and dressed in dull colors.
    At the sound of our vehicle the whole procession slowly turned round and stared accusingly. Sian appeared from the cabana as we climbed out. “I told them there was probably a bit of a crisis down at the hospital,” she said conspiratorially. “I think they’re all fine only, well, Betty . . .”
    There then followed a rather awkward moment as Henry, Sian and I walked across to the latrine procession, with no one quite knowing what to do except smile fixedly. Fortunately, Henry’s breeding carried us through. “Malcolm, dear boy!” he started bellowing as we approached. “Great to see you! Hi! You must be thenew doctor, great to see you, great! Great to have some more old buggers around the place to dilute the totty.”
    By this time we had reached the group, but Henry was still on autowitter. “Sorry not to be here to give you the old welcoming committee—bit of an old blood bag crisis down the black hole of Calcutta.”
    The new doctor looked somewhat taken aback. He seemed pleasant, but dull. Pity.
    â€œHi,” he said mildly. “Robert O’Rourke.” His voice was unusually deep and sounded as though it was coming from a long way away.
    â€œHenry Montague, marvelous,” Henry was bellowing, meanwhile shaking hands energetically. “Great to have you on board. And this is our great white memsahib—Rosie,” said Henry. “I know she looks like a sex object but she’s really very strict.”
    â€œStrict but fair, I hope,” said O’Rourke.
    â€œYou mustn’t mind Henry,” said Sian. “It’s his upbringing.”
    The ice was broken now. For all his absurdity, Henry understood what good manners really mean.
    â€œNice to have you here,” I said. “Malcolm, nice to see you.”
    Malcolm did his silly teeth-together beam, and waved both hands on either side of his head.
    â€œHave you and Dr. O’Rourke had something to drink?” I asked.
    â€œWell, no, we rather thought Doctor might like to have a good nosey round,” Betty interrupted. “After all, this is going to be home sweet home for our new friend for quite some time.” She lowered her voice. “Actually, Malcolm, when you have a moment I really would like to have a little chinwag.”
    The doctor was looking at Betty intently. There was something rather purposeful about him.
    He looked at me and gestured towards the camp. “This is a beautiful place.” Bewdaful. I couldn’t place his accent.
    â€œVery beautiful,” I said. Then I looked down and saw his white socks. Ugh.
    O’Rourke walked with a slight limp. As Linda took him off to his hut, I tried to look at his leg discreetly without him seeing. Perhaps it was a wooden one. Apart from his medical bag, he seemedto have just one canvas holdall, like an overnight bag. It seemed like traveling light taken to ridiculous extremes considering he was here for two years. I hoped he wasn’t going to start wanting to borrow everyone else’s shampoo.
    The rest of the team were looking so clean and smart that I thought I’d better sort myself out. I went to my hut and glanced in the little mirror hanging above my desk, which is something I rarely did. I remember it because that was the moment when I saw, apart from my red nose and mad hair, the first line on my face, just beginning, heading from the edge of my nose down to the corner of my mouth. It must have been the light at that time of day which caught it. It gave me a shock. I always thought that aging should happen the other way round. Life would be so much more optimistic if you began it as a wrinkly old crone and became younger, more vibrant