promised.”
“That was before.” His voice is flat, devoid of all emotion. “We’re going to Manhattan. I’ll have a doctor meet us there.”
“Doctor?” He’s freaking me out now, this robot version so detached from the moment. From me. He might be standing right next to me but I get the impression we’ve never been farther apart.
“To get you the morning after pill. And put you on a more permanent form of birth control.” He says this as though stating the obvious.
“You could at least ask me if this is what I want!”
“It’s the most logical course of action.” He says and shoves me headfirst under the spray. “This isn’t a democracy; we aren’t going to vote on this. I shouldn’t have let it get so far out of hand without having precautions in place.”
Shutting the water off, I whirl to get away from him and slip on the wet tile. His arms go around me and he hauls me back up against his chest.
“Let go of me!” I’m incised that he’s being such an ass about this, telling me I don’t get a say in what I do with my own body. “Hands off, pal.”
“Be careful. You could get hurt.”
I laugh hollowly. How does he not realize that I’m already hurt? Especially considering he’s the one wielding the knife. “I need to get away from you, right fucking now, Connor.”
“No,” he responds, dismissing my wishes as if they are irrelevant. Retrieving two fluffy bath towels from the nearby shelf, he hands it to me. “Don’t argue with me, Baily. You’ll see the doctor, get what you need and we’ll spend the night in my apartment. You’ll be back at Rosemont tomorrow morning.”
I wrap the towel around me, shoddy protection but better than nothing. “You’ve got it all figured out, don’t you?”
He either doesn’t pick up on my sarcasm or chooses to ignore it. “Of course. I don’t see why you are being unreasonable about this.”
“ I’m the unreasonable one? How can you say that with a straight face, you who practically yanked my arm out of the socket breaking land speed records getting me in here?” Yelling feels good, especially the way my voice echoes off of the tile in the small bathroom.
Connor shouts back. “I’m trying to unfuck this totally fucked situation!”
The words land like a blow across my face. I draw back, wounded. “You mean you wish you could unfuck me, right?”
He doesn’t deny it, instead running a hand through his hair. I can almost hear the tearing sound of my heart being ripped in two. His chest heaves as he drags in great lungfuls of air.
“I’ll get dressed,” I say quietly. Easier to acquiesce to his demands than fight him every step of the way. “I’ll agree to see your doctor, but I need to get home tonight.”
I quietly leave the bathroom, shutting the door behind me.
My well-used body protests as I bend down to retrieve my bathing suit. I feel as though I’ve aged one hundred years since taking it off. I wish for a pair of jeans and a sweater, since I’m shivering, but my clothes are back upstate while I’m here, totally dependent on Connor the control freak to feed and clothe me.
Smart move, that. Snarkarella rolls her eyes at me.
As soon as I get home, I’m sending everything back to him. Including the check. Although keeping his money would make my life so much easier, I want no part of it. I’ll just have to figure something else out.
I will change the locks on my cottage though and give him the keys after I find somewhere else to live. Leaving myself at his mercy is completely out of the question. Maybe Greg will help me out, give me a place to crash. That is, if he’s still speaking to me after the incident at the bar.
I move to the porch and stare out at the water. The sky is gray, heavy with fat, dark clouds. I’m sorry I didn’t spend more time on the beach. I can’t regret coming here, even if this is how it ends. I followed my heart and got a little taste of the divine, a reprieve from the hardship of
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