Read Online Catch My Fall by Michaela Wright - Free Book Online Page B

with the cell phone and the vagina and the -”
    “No, I know. He sucks. He sucks beyond reason -”
    “Do you really believe that? It almost sounds like you’re mourning his loss or something.”
    “Well, I am sometimes. Is that so wrong?”
    And she was off. “Faye! The guy is a scumbag! He cheated on you, and kept evidence of it!”
    This was a mantra she’d been happy to repeat for over a month now.
    “I know that!”
    “When you lost your place, did he offer to let you stay with him? No. It ‘never came up,’ right?” I started to respond, but she was on a roll. “Did he not openly embarrass you in front of all his friends when you lost your job and couldn’t afford to pay for your own dinner one night?”
    That one stung, and I’d nearly let myself forget it.
    “Did you or did you not tell me you dreaded going out to eat with him long before then because the two of you sat in silence most nights because you had nothing to fucking talk about?” God damn it, she knew her shit. “Are you seriously missing him because sometimes he was good in bed?”
    “It’s not just that,” I said, realizing I was about to – no let’s be honest – I’d already completely lost the helm of this conversation.
    “No, Faye. Think about it. What is it that you really miss?”
    She waited. I was surprised to see her slow down, as she usually didn’t take even a moment to breathe once she got going. I thought about Cole, looking into the eyes of a friend who actually heard all the troubles he and I were having long before I discovered his cell phone’s adventures. I couldn’t push aside the bad in order to dwell on the good with her. I remembered that night in the bar when the handsome bartender asked for my number. I remembered the night we first slept together and the days I spent reeling from it. Was there nothing else to dwell on?
    Damn it, why do women have to actually feel when it comes to sex? Why can’t we just be like men and fuck our merry way to an orgasm, then forget it ever happened? Am I being sexist? I don’t fucking care! I wish it was easier. I wish I had a cock shot on my phone!
    “The intimacy?” I finally said.
    “Ah,” she said. When she turned to me, I expected another tirade. “Weren’t you the one complaining about a lack of just that a few months ago?”
    Yes sir, she’d been a good friend for a long time, and she wasn’t going to let me forget it.
    “I was.”
    “And why was that? I know, but I think maybe you need to remind yourself.”
    “What do you want me to say?”
    She took a deep breath and tossed her hair with her hands. Her hair fell in perfect ringlets, as always.
    “Faye, I’m going to quote you, alright?”
    I nodded.
    “It was good, yes? Cole was a sexual dynamo, right? Except for the fact that you told me yourself he didn’t always take the time to give you an orgasm, yes? Sometimes he just assumed and rolled over. And, then to top it off, he hardly ever put out, am I right?”
    Zing. I was beginning to resent her for being a good listener. Didn’t she realize I just wanted to wallow in self-pity for a while? Christ.
    “He was the best I’d ever been with -”
    “Which isn’t saying much, hon. Even if he was the greatest lay on the planet, if he refuses to actually put out, it doesn’t do you much good, now does it? Especially if that’s all he’s got going for him.”
    Fuck me. Hearing her say it brought a tumble of bad memories back to the fore. I remembered lying beside him at night wondering why he didn’t want me, feeling disgusting because I’d gained twenty pounds since we first met, and thinking it must be my fault that he didn’t find me attractive anymore. Somehow, I’d failed to acknowledge the nagging sense in the back of my mind that maybe I had been the cause of his meandering. If I’d just taken better care of myself, if I’d just gone to the gym more often, if… if only.
    Meghan leaned toward me and gave me a hug, softly muttering