Read Online Catch Me When I Fall by Westerhof Patricia - Free Book Online Page A

Their daughter Ruthie, blonde hair cut shorter than usual, sat almost as still, her bowed head revealing her girlish, vulnerable neck. Her eyes were damp and her nose pink.
    He lowered himself into his chair, a visible drag in his motions. He yearned to escape outside to the barn or the machine shed. He could tinker with the old Massey Ferguson tractor he was rebuilding.
    â€œMaybe Ruthie could get counselling,” Alida finally spoke. Klaas blinked and rubbed at his sideburns. He knew Alida thought counsellors were like organic farmers or chiropractors—quacks duping gullible people out of their money.
    â€œI’m right here, Mom,” Ruthie said, “and I did get counselling. That’s what makes me so sure.”
    Her blue eyes narrowing, Alida scrutinized Ruthie like she was searching for mites or sawflies in the raspberries. “Was it a Christian counsellor?”
    â€œYes.”
    â€œChristian Reformed?”
    â€œNo, Mom, there’s a shortage of those.” Ruthie sounded about fifteen again, all weary disdain and irritation. Klaas thought of the clashes between the two of them during Ruthie’s adolescence. When Ruthie mixed whites and colours in the washing machine for the fourth or fourteenth time, or all the times she burned or undercooked the potatoes. When Alida scolded her, she’d look contrite, but if Alida’s rebuke became a speech, Ruthie would roll her eyes and dish out insolence. It’s just stupid housework. She showed no interest in Alida’s passions, like the craft activities she’d organize for the kids, making Halloween displays, or painting Easter eggs. She avoided shopping trips too, preferred to stay home to help Klaas with the milking.
    He enjoyed her company. Liked her curiosity. She was different from her three older sisters. When she was just two she opened the kitchen cupboard to peer at the pipes. Where water go, Daddy? She liked cattle, and she was the star in the 4H Club through elementary school, raising prize heifers and winning ribbons almost every year. He loved all four of his daughters, but in Ruthie he felt tremendous pride.
    Until now.
    â€œWhat about Ken Booy?” Alida said. “You dated him for at least two months.”
    â€œYeah. In grade eleven. He helped me pass English.”
    â€œBut how could you date him if, you know?” Alida’s eyes drifted over to the window as her voice faded.
    â€œI was trying to be normal. What people here consider normal. It’s not a wide definition at Poplar Grove High School.” Her voice was chilly and sharp. Klaas felt something sting him—sympathy, maybe? But still. Was she expecting they would embrace this decision of hers?
    â€œI don’t see why you can’t be a non-practising uh—you know. That’s what the church teaches.” He stood up and leaned against the counter facing the table. He folded his arms across his chest. “Maybe you can’t help what you are, but we’ve always taught you that you can control what you do.”
    â€œYou don’t get it, Dad. A bunch of old male ministers made up that rule.” Her voice rose. “What do they know about being gay, or what they’re asking? What do they know about a life of solitude? Or about celibacy? Every one of them had a dutiful wife who opened up her legs when he told her to.”
    â€œRuthie!” Alida’s chair clattered as she stood up, her face red.
    â€œThey didn’t make it up.” Klaas spoke sharply. He reminded himself to stay calm. Serene. “They carefully consulted Scripture. The church’s position is the result of study and prayer. And I’ll remind you that in this house we speak with respect.”
    â€œWell, I don’t feel respected.” Ruthie sounded sullen. Klaas looked at Alida, still standing, face still flushed. This was enough.
    â€œI hope you’ll change your mind. Maybe see a different counsellor. Until