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Authors: Nigel Dennis
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window.
‘Time will tell. Off you go, now.’
‘I see you are feeling more relaxed,’ said Mrs Mallet, when Beaufort had gone.
‘Well, it is a strain isn’t it, that first day or two – assailed by doubts, hating the responsibility? It was I who proposed having the Summer Session in the country; I who assured the Club that a place could be staffed and set in order. But I stand by what I said then: that this will be a broadening experience for all of us. Why, do you know that Orfeand Shubunkin have not once been outside London since childhood? Even the President admits that it is forty years since he saw a hedge. Oh, I am glad to be busy again! And glad to see you and young Beaufort so happy together. It makes me regret my own single state. I have not really been the same man, you know, since they deported poor Becky.’
‘To the outsider, if you have changed at all, it is for the better. I mean that your best faculties are better than I have ever known them.’
‘Thank you for saying so, dear. It’s true, of course, that life with Becky was a terrible strain, and I will even confess that when I watched her being walked away by two policemen, though I could hardly see for tears, I did feel relieved. But what an old-fashioned man I am, at heart! No sooner do I get the peace I’ve always prayed for than I begin to feel ashamed of it. Celibacy makes one so neat and tidy and prim, a sort of hermaphrodite; all that saves me from hating myself is the thought that the work I am doing will be enjoyed by others – that I do it not for myself alone but for the Club.’
‘Someone is knocking on the window,’ said Mrs Mallet.
The captain went to the terrace door and threw it open. ‘Who are you, may I ask?’ he said.
‘Paradise, my name, sir.’
‘Indeed! Are you in search of something?’
‘Thought you might have seen my uncle – and aunt.’
‘And why, pray,’ asked Mrs Mallet in a high, aristocratic voice, ‘should my husband have seen your uncle – and your aunt?’
‘You had better come in, anyway,’ said the captain. ‘And stop shuffling like that.’
‘I always do that,’ said Lolly, breaking into a broad smile and looking at the captain with admiring surprise, as if astonished that so personal a trait could be detected.
‘Well, sit down and keep still,’ said the captain. ‘When did you last see your uncle?’
‘Just the other day. I mean: it wasn’t him I saw; but I saw Auntie and she told me.’
‘Just what did Auntie tell you?’ cried Mrs Mallet coldly. ‘Surely not that as a result of seeing her you had seen him?’
‘You misunderstand, dear,’ said the captain. ‘Mr Paradise means that as a consequence of seeing his aunt he was able to envisage his uncle.’
‘That’s right,’ said Lolly.
‘It is Greek to me,’ said Mrs Mallet, taking up some sewing and looking coldly away. ‘Unless uncle and aunt so closely resemble one another that even their nephew cannot distinguish between them.’
‘Well, if they’re not here, I’d better be off,’ said Lolly, beginning to shuffle again.
‘If you have no objection, dear,’ said the captain timidly, ‘I will try and help the young man by asking one or two questions.’
Mrs Mallet gave a high laugh, and started to sew.
‘Do your uncle and aunt normally reside near these premises?’ asked the captain.
‘Down at the lodge,’ said Lolly.
‘Our lodge?’
‘Why, yes, that’s right,’ said Lolly. ‘But they’re away, or something. Milk bottles left outside.’
‘On which we have paid a heavy subsidy,’ said Mrs Mallet.
‘You know them, do you?’ asked Lolly hopefully.
‘They sound like the couple we evicted,’ said the captain. ‘I suppose, in their panic, they forgot to stop the milk.’
‘Evicted?’ repeated Lolly with faint surprise.
‘Well, what else could we do with them?’
‘I didn’t …’ Lolly began, and then stopped.
‘Finish the sentence, finish it!’ cried Mrs Mallet
‘Time will tell. Off you go, now.’
‘I see you are feeling more relaxed,’ said Mrs Mallet, when Beaufort had gone.
‘Well, it is a strain isn’t it, that first day or two – assailed by doubts, hating the responsibility? It was I who proposed having the Summer Session in the country; I who assured the Club that a place could be staffed and set in order. But I stand by what I said then: that this will be a broadening experience for all of us. Why, do you know that Orfeand Shubunkin have not once been outside London since childhood? Even the President admits that it is forty years since he saw a hedge. Oh, I am glad to be busy again! And glad to see you and young Beaufort so happy together. It makes me regret my own single state. I have not really been the same man, you know, since they deported poor Becky.’
‘To the outsider, if you have changed at all, it is for the better. I mean that your best faculties are better than I have ever known them.’
‘Thank you for saying so, dear. It’s true, of course, that life with Becky was a terrible strain, and I will even confess that when I watched her being walked away by two policemen, though I could hardly see for tears, I did feel relieved. But what an old-fashioned man I am, at heart! No sooner do I get the peace I’ve always prayed for than I begin to feel ashamed of it. Celibacy makes one so neat and tidy and prim, a sort of hermaphrodite; all that saves me from hating myself is the thought that the work I am doing will be enjoyed by others – that I do it not for myself alone but for the Club.’
‘Someone is knocking on the window,’ said Mrs Mallet.
The captain went to the terrace door and threw it open. ‘Who are you, may I ask?’ he said.
‘Paradise, my name, sir.’
‘Indeed! Are you in search of something?’
‘Thought you might have seen my uncle – and aunt.’
‘And why, pray,’ asked Mrs Mallet in a high, aristocratic voice, ‘should my husband have seen your uncle – and your aunt?’
‘You had better come in, anyway,’ said the captain. ‘And stop shuffling like that.’
‘I always do that,’ said Lolly, breaking into a broad smile and looking at the captain with admiring surprise, as if astonished that so personal a trait could be detected.
‘Well, sit down and keep still,’ said the captain. ‘When did you last see your uncle?’
‘Just the other day. I mean: it wasn’t him I saw; but I saw Auntie and she told me.’
‘Just what did Auntie tell you?’ cried Mrs Mallet coldly. ‘Surely not that as a result of seeing her you had seen him?’
‘You misunderstand, dear,’ said the captain. ‘Mr Paradise means that as a consequence of seeing his aunt he was able to envisage his uncle.’
‘That’s right,’ said Lolly.
‘It is Greek to me,’ said Mrs Mallet, taking up some sewing and looking coldly away. ‘Unless uncle and aunt so closely resemble one another that even their nephew cannot distinguish between them.’
‘Well, if they’re not here, I’d better be off,’ said Lolly, beginning to shuffle again.
‘If you have no objection, dear,’ said the captain timidly, ‘I will try and help the young man by asking one or two questions.’
Mrs Mallet gave a high laugh, and started to sew.
‘Do your uncle and aunt normally reside near these premises?’ asked the captain.
‘Down at the lodge,’ said Lolly.
‘Our lodge?’
‘Why, yes, that’s right,’ said Lolly. ‘But they’re away, or something. Milk bottles left outside.’
‘On which we have paid a heavy subsidy,’ said Mrs Mallet.
‘You know them, do you?’ asked Lolly hopefully.
‘They sound like the couple we evicted,’ said the captain. ‘I suppose, in their panic, they forgot to stop the milk.’
‘Evicted?’ repeated Lolly with faint surprise.
‘Well, what else could we do with them?’
‘I didn’t …’ Lolly began, and then stopped.
‘Finish the sentence, finish it!’ cried Mrs Mallet
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