Read Online Can't Let Go by Jessica Lemmon - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Jessica Lemmon
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for Mom.”
Somewhere deep in the recesses of her bleeding heart, Sadie knew what Aiden was doing for his mother was noble. But what about her ? What about this was “meant to be” for Sadie? Why, when she’d just taken the enormous step of opening herself up, was the universe ripping her to shreds?
“I never meant to hurt you.” Aiden spoke with such finality, Sadie pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped herself into a ball with her free arm.
Careless of how needy she was about to sound, Sadie spoke her next thought aloud. “Please don’t do this.”
“I’m sorry, Sadie.” The strength in his voice only hurt her more. “I have to concentrate on what Mom needs. This…us…it’s too much.”
He meant Sadie was too much. He didn’t say that. He didn’t have to. She knew the truth about herself, how she’d always been a little too hard to handle. She thought Aiden was different. She’d thought wrong.
Her shoulders buckled as silent, traitorous tears slipped from her eyes. She sniffed and Aiden must have heard her.
“Sadie.” The tenderness in his hushed tone reminded her of the night she stayed at his house.
The night he held her in his arms. The way he’d cherished her. The way he loved her. And now he was letting her go, because she was inconvenient right now in his life. She was the piece that didn’t quite fit. The piece that needed to be discarded.
“If things had worked out differently…,” he was saying.
But Sadie couldn’t listen. Couldn’t listen to him dismantle their relationship, reducing every amazing moment to some universal plan, the fate of the stars, or bad timing .
She pulled the phone away from her ear and covered the speaker with her thumb, muffling his words. A tear splashed on the display and she mopped it with one fingertip, sliding down to hit End on the touch screen.
Eyes filling with tears, she felt every emotion at once. The pain of losing Aiden. The guilt of crying over her own losses while his mother was about to begin another fight for her life.
And anger. So much anger. She didn’t even know where to direct it. Anger at the world for intruding on her and Aiden’s safe, oh-so-fragile bubble of happiness. Anger at herself for losing her heart to a man who’d discarded her instead of fighting to keep her.
“The Electric Slide” ringtone played again and the song took Sadie back to the nightclub where she met the sexy Adonis who’d asked her to dance. They’d been an anomaly from the start. The way they’d confessed their deep, dark secrets to each other that very night. The way her hand fit into his in an undeniably right way. The way she’d slept next to him after he allowed her to gracefully redress.
More tears came. She didn’t stop them.
Sadie turned off her phone and pressed her closed fist to her lips. Her stomach tossed. She’d lost him. Her reward for letting her guard down. For believing she might be entitled to a happily ever after. For setting herself up for the biggest fall since her failed attempt at walking down the aisle.
Would she ever learn?
She tucked her chin and held her knees to her chest, compressing herself as tightly as she could. For the first time in a very long time, Sadie allowed herself to feel every broken shard of her splintered heart. She mourned the loss of her newfound hope, the loss of the future she’d imagined with Aiden at her side, and the elusive happiness she could never quite capture.
But mostly, she cried over losing Aiden. The one man who’d seen something in her no one else ever had…who’d seen all her flaws and faults. Who called her on it and rose to the challenge.
At least at first.
Sadie dropped her forehead and the tears dripped from her arms to her skirt, a seemingly endless stream. Even in her grief, Sadie made herself a pact. She’d give herself twenty-four hours to feel every ounce of retched, heinous emotion tearing her apart inside. After that, she would cut it off. Wall it up.
Somewhere deep in the recesses of her bleeding heart, Sadie knew what Aiden was doing for his mother was noble. But what about her ? What about this was “meant to be” for Sadie? Why, when she’d just taken the enormous step of opening herself up, was the universe ripping her to shreds?
“I never meant to hurt you.” Aiden spoke with such finality, Sadie pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped herself into a ball with her free arm.
Careless of how needy she was about to sound, Sadie spoke her next thought aloud. “Please don’t do this.”
“I’m sorry, Sadie.” The strength in his voice only hurt her more. “I have to concentrate on what Mom needs. This…us…it’s too much.”
He meant Sadie was too much. He didn’t say that. He didn’t have to. She knew the truth about herself, how she’d always been a little too hard to handle. She thought Aiden was different. She’d thought wrong.
Her shoulders buckled as silent, traitorous tears slipped from her eyes. She sniffed and Aiden must have heard her.
“Sadie.” The tenderness in his hushed tone reminded her of the night she stayed at his house.
The night he held her in his arms. The way he’d cherished her. The way he loved her. And now he was letting her go, because she was inconvenient right now in his life. She was the piece that didn’t quite fit. The piece that needed to be discarded.
“If things had worked out differently…,” he was saying.
But Sadie couldn’t listen. Couldn’t listen to him dismantle their relationship, reducing every amazing moment to some universal plan, the fate of the stars, or bad timing .
She pulled the phone away from her ear and covered the speaker with her thumb, muffling his words. A tear splashed on the display and she mopped it with one fingertip, sliding down to hit End on the touch screen.
Eyes filling with tears, she felt every emotion at once. The pain of losing Aiden. The guilt of crying over her own losses while his mother was about to begin another fight for her life.
And anger. So much anger. She didn’t even know where to direct it. Anger at the world for intruding on her and Aiden’s safe, oh-so-fragile bubble of happiness. Anger at herself for losing her heart to a man who’d discarded her instead of fighting to keep her.
“The Electric Slide” ringtone played again and the song took Sadie back to the nightclub where she met the sexy Adonis who’d asked her to dance. They’d been an anomaly from the start. The way they’d confessed their deep, dark secrets to each other that very night. The way her hand fit into his in an undeniably right way. The way she’d slept next to him after he allowed her to gracefully redress.
More tears came. She didn’t stop them.
Sadie turned off her phone and pressed her closed fist to her lips. Her stomach tossed. She’d lost him. Her reward for letting her guard down. For believing she might be entitled to a happily ever after. For setting herself up for the biggest fall since her failed attempt at walking down the aisle.
Would she ever learn?
She tucked her chin and held her knees to her chest, compressing herself as tightly as she could. For the first time in a very long time, Sadie allowed herself to feel every broken shard of her splintered heart. She mourned the loss of her newfound hope, the loss of the future she’d imagined with Aiden at her side, and the elusive happiness she could never quite capture.
But mostly, she cried over losing Aiden. The one man who’d seen something in her no one else ever had…who’d seen all her flaws and faults. Who called her on it and rose to the challenge.
At least at first.
Sadie dropped her forehead and the tears dripped from her arms to her skirt, a seemingly endless stream. Even in her grief, Sadie made herself a pact. She’d give herself twenty-four hours to feel every ounce of retched, heinous emotion tearing her apart inside. After that, she would cut it off. Wall it up.
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