much it is unpleasant to be near them-“
“Txffu?” she interrupted.
“Yes, Mary?”
“Will you marry me?”
I screwed my eyes so tight I saw neon paisley. Somewhere behind their lids was the switch that would turn my breathing back on, and I had to find it pretty quickly.
Finn was utterly still for five long seconds. “You are not serious.”
“No, thank God, and that’s going to be a break for you in the years to come-but my proposal is dead serious. What’s your answer?”
“But-you-“
“Finn, you’ve been unable to love because you haven’t loved yourself because you haven’t loved us-it’s time somebody got you off the loop. You ninny, of course you didn’t save us out of love! You did it out of compassion. That’s something that’s, underrated, but I think it’s just as good as love-who knows, maybe better. You can love
only your equals-with your superiors or inferiors, compassion is the best you can do, and it’s pretty damned good, at least as high up on the ethical scale. With time, it can lead to love. I speculate that-it could even be the basis of a pretty fair marriage. Do you think?”
“You saw what is in my chest-“
“Yeah, I’m fascinated. Is there an owner’s manual for it?”
“You cannot be s&ious. You do not even know if we are sexually compatible-“
“The hell I don’t. I can see fingers and a tongue from here;- anything else is gravy. And I’ve got something or other that appeals to you; I knew that back up on the roof when I met you.”
That breathing switch had to be around here someplace; just a question of finding it…-
“-we are not cross-fertile-,” Finn tried.
“What of it? Maybe we’ll adopt. Hell, we’ll adopt this whole goddam bar-they need someone to bring ‘em up. Quit stalling: yes or no?”
I think maybe I’d known it all along, sensed it up there on the roof when Finn first flew out of the rainy night. I suppose there are worse ways to say goodbye…
“Yes,” Finn said fmally. “Yes, Mary, I would be honored to marry you. On one condition.” He turned to the rest of us. “All of you, male and female, must agree to be my Best Man.”
A roomful of people looked guiltily to Mary.
She nodded serenely. “Deal.”
A cheer went up that rung the rafters. I even got my lungs going in time to join it. Sure it hurt.
But it felt good, too.
Finn’s face remained blank for another few seconds-and then he remembered to share his joy with us, and hung that expression on himself; I was pleased and proud that he took the trouble.
“Would you two,” Callahan boomed, “do me the honor of gettin’ married here in my joint? Say, over there on the staircase?”
“Where else?” Mick and Mary said together, and another cheer went up, even louder.
It came to me that I might find some use for a bucket of alcohol, so when Callahan began the bucket brigade of free
drinks for the house I hogged three or four. It’s amazing how fast you can throw down booze if you work at it, and so before long I found myself bellying up to the bar.
“Innkeeper,” I said when he reached me, “give me drink.”
He understood my situation-had probably understood from the moment. Mary popped the question. Not much gets past Mike Callahan, and nothing that pertains to the human heart. “Healthy reaction,” he said, nodding judiciously. “I
think you’ll live, Jake.”
“Have you ever hated your best friend’s guts, Mike?”
“Careful, pal: don’t get into the same guilt-loop Finn did. Melodrama is for T.V. Finn’s not your best friend, just a
garden variety pal. And if you feel like hating him for a while, go to it: it’ll pass.”
“You haven’t said much tonight, Mike. How do you feel about all this?”
“Well, the way I look at it, I’m not so much losing a daughter as I am gaining an alien.”
I stared at him, and by the time all the tumblers had fmished clicking into place, he was handing me an oversized mug of Irish
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