Read Online Calendar Girl 12 - December by Audrey Carlan - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Audrey Carlan
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and understanding.
I lifted his hand to my mouth and kissed each knuckle.
“Why does it hurt so badly?” Tears formed in my eyes and slipped down my cheeks.
“Because no matter what she did, how bad she hurt you, she’s still your mom. You love her.”
I inhaled sharply. “You can’t love a ghost.”
“Oh, baby, but you can. And you do. I can see it written all over your face, and you know what?”
“What?” I sniffed. I didn’t want to give that woman even one more tear.
“It’s okay to love her. Even when she’s hurt you so horribly.”
And the tears came stronger. I couldn’t hold them back, be the strong Mia I was to everyone else. “Is it? A woman who left me to care for myself and my sister when I was ten?”
“Your dad had a hand in that, sweetheart. If you’re throwing down blame, he’s earned it, too.”
I huffed. “She singlehandedly destroyed him.” I shook my head. “You should have seen him before she left. Doting father, committed husband. He worshiped the ground that woman walked on. And for what? To be left in the dust like so much garbage. She ruined our family. Not only that…she ruined Max’s, too.” I choked on a sob.
Wes’s chin dipped down. “I don’t think that’s true. Max is one of the most loving men I know. Overtly so. He took you and Madison and made you part of his family within mere minutes of finding out you were related. That speaks a lot about the kind of man Jackson Cunningham was. He gave his son everything he could even though he didn’t have a mother. Loved him. Taught him how to love. Max carried that knowledge with him. Loves his wife, children, and his sisters. He may have lacked a mother, but his life was far from ruined.”
I mulled over what Wes said. He was right, of course. Jackson Cunningham may have loved my mother greatly and been hurt by her leaving, but he carried on. Took care of his son, taught him how to be a man. A good man. The best. Showed him the importance of family.
“I need to talk to Max and Maddy.”
Wes shifted and curled me into his chest. “They are going to be here in two days. Do you really want to call and worry them now?”
“Max will be pissed if I don’t,” I said.
Wes grinned. “Now, that is true. He has a hair trigger when it comes to you and Maddy. What are you going to say?”
I shook my head and leaned into him. “I don’t know. The truth. He deserves that much. Then he can decide how he wants to deal.”
“And what about your mother.”
I cringed. “What about her?”
“Are you going to talk to her again? Something doesn’t sit right about last night. She seemed surprised to see you, apologetic, and kept mentioning you not knowing the whole story.”
“Probably because she doesn’t like having to face what she’s done.”
Wes sighed. “Maybe. I don’t know. She fell to the floor pretty quick. Seemed to crack and break on a level you don’t see often, even when faced with a difficult confrontation.”
“Who knows? She’s probably trying to tell herself that she had a good reason to leave us. All of us. I’m going to tell you right now, I won’t buy it. There’s nothing she can say that will make me forgive what she put us through. Nothing.”
----
T he phone rang four times , which was unusual for Max. He was one of those that kept his cell in his back pocket, and I knew he wasn’t working.
Finally, on the fifth ring, he picked up. A screaming baby could be heard in the background.
“Hold on, hold on…your nephew is hollerin’ down the neighborhood. Kid shit himself up his entire back. His back, Sis. Shit all the way up to his hairline. Now how the hell did he do that?” Max yelled through the phone.
I gathered pretty quickly that I was on speaker, and I waited while I heard Max pass off the munchkin to Cyndi. Total dick move. I smiled for the first time since I’d seen our mother yesterday.
“He shit himself up his back!” he reiterated.
“So what do you want me
I lifted his hand to my mouth and kissed each knuckle.
“Why does it hurt so badly?” Tears formed in my eyes and slipped down my cheeks.
“Because no matter what she did, how bad she hurt you, she’s still your mom. You love her.”
I inhaled sharply. “You can’t love a ghost.”
“Oh, baby, but you can. And you do. I can see it written all over your face, and you know what?”
“What?” I sniffed. I didn’t want to give that woman even one more tear.
“It’s okay to love her. Even when she’s hurt you so horribly.”
And the tears came stronger. I couldn’t hold them back, be the strong Mia I was to everyone else. “Is it? A woman who left me to care for myself and my sister when I was ten?”
“Your dad had a hand in that, sweetheart. If you’re throwing down blame, he’s earned it, too.”
I huffed. “She singlehandedly destroyed him.” I shook my head. “You should have seen him before she left. Doting father, committed husband. He worshiped the ground that woman walked on. And for what? To be left in the dust like so much garbage. She ruined our family. Not only that…she ruined Max’s, too.” I choked on a sob.
Wes’s chin dipped down. “I don’t think that’s true. Max is one of the most loving men I know. Overtly so. He took you and Madison and made you part of his family within mere minutes of finding out you were related. That speaks a lot about the kind of man Jackson Cunningham was. He gave his son everything he could even though he didn’t have a mother. Loved him. Taught him how to love. Max carried that knowledge with him. Loves his wife, children, and his sisters. He may have lacked a mother, but his life was far from ruined.”
I mulled over what Wes said. He was right, of course. Jackson Cunningham may have loved my mother greatly and been hurt by her leaving, but he carried on. Took care of his son, taught him how to be a man. A good man. The best. Showed him the importance of family.
“I need to talk to Max and Maddy.”
Wes shifted and curled me into his chest. “They are going to be here in two days. Do you really want to call and worry them now?”
“Max will be pissed if I don’t,” I said.
Wes grinned. “Now, that is true. He has a hair trigger when it comes to you and Maddy. What are you going to say?”
I shook my head and leaned into him. “I don’t know. The truth. He deserves that much. Then he can decide how he wants to deal.”
“And what about your mother.”
I cringed. “What about her?”
“Are you going to talk to her again? Something doesn’t sit right about last night. She seemed surprised to see you, apologetic, and kept mentioning you not knowing the whole story.”
“Probably because she doesn’t like having to face what she’s done.”
Wes sighed. “Maybe. I don’t know. She fell to the floor pretty quick. Seemed to crack and break on a level you don’t see often, even when faced with a difficult confrontation.”
“Who knows? She’s probably trying to tell herself that she had a good reason to leave us. All of us. I’m going to tell you right now, I won’t buy it. There’s nothing she can say that will make me forgive what she put us through. Nothing.”
----
T he phone rang four times , which was unusual for Max. He was one of those that kept his cell in his back pocket, and I knew he wasn’t working.
Finally, on the fifth ring, he picked up. A screaming baby could be heard in the background.
“Hold on, hold on…your nephew is hollerin’ down the neighborhood. Kid shit himself up his entire back. His back, Sis. Shit all the way up to his hairline. Now how the hell did he do that?” Max yelled through the phone.
I gathered pretty quickly that I was on speaker, and I waited while I heard Max pass off the munchkin to Cyndi. Total dick move. I smiled for the first time since I’d seen our mother yesterday.
“He shit himself up his back!” he reiterated.
“So what do you want me
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