was no hello or anything at the beginning of the e-mail, just a name like big guyor ugly guyfollowed by a list of places and times.
I could hardly see the screen, so I stepped off the sidewalk, into a hat store. They still have hat stores in New York, and this one had a lot of the classics, like the ones Sinatra and Dino used to wear. I always liked hats, but they don’t look good on me. I got a big head, and a hat tends to make it look bigger.
“Can I help you, sir?” Behind the counter was a Latina woman with fancy turquoise fingernails and matching pants. The pants were tight either because they were too small or she was too big or most likely some of both. She seemed nice enough. The walls were lined with lighted display cases of hats, mostly what they call fedoras.
So I says, “What do you got that will make me look like Frank Sinatra?”
So she smiles and says, “Why do you want to look like Frank Sinatra? You way more handsome than him. The right hat will make you look even more handsome, quito.”
Nice lady. Smart lady. “Can I try some hats on while I check an e-mail?”
“Summer hat or winter?”
“I guess winter. It’s almost Halloween.”
She looked at me with one eye and wiggled a turquoise fingernail at me. “We’ll try gray and brown hats first.”
She started pulling out hats, and I stood in front of the mirror and scrolled down through the e-mail.
The gray hats seemed a little too formal, but things got more interesting when she got to the brown hats. Things also got more interesting when I scrolled down past Frank and Kootie’s activities to what Huey had been up to:
FRENCH GUY
1000 TO DELI CIGS
1015 SMOKE AND CELL AT BISTRO
1025 BACK INSIDE BISTRO
1300 SMOKE, CELL
1310 BACK TO BISTRO
1505 LEFT BISTRO, WALKS
1520 ARRIVES DOWNTOWN STARBUCKS, COFFEE WITH BIG GUY AND UGLY GUY
1550 LEAVES STARBUCKS, CAR SERVICE, BLUE DIAMOND
1600 BLUE DIAMOND DROP OFF CONFIRMED BILLY BANK
1615 SUBJECT LEAVES BILLY BANK WITH GYM BAG, WALKS
1625 ARRIVES STOR-RITE, 3RD AVENUE
1655 LEAVES STOR-RITE, NO BAG, MEETS RED APPLE CAR SERVICE OUT FRONT
1720 ARRIVES BOND STREET LOFT/APARTMENT GRN BLDG @ UNION
1820 LEAVES BOND STREET LOFT/APARTMENT
1830 ARRIVES RITE AID SMITH / PRESIDENT ST.
1840 LEAVES RITE AID, WALKS
1845 ARRIVES BISTRO
===END===
Reports for Kootie and Frank were boring. They got up late, ate breakfast or ran errands, went to meet Huey, and then went to the restaurants where they work.
Huey’s movements, though—they had me dancing inside. My grandmother and her schnauzer could figure out what Huey was up to. What you like to see when looking into something like this is what they call commonality. Billy Bank was a commonality. Likely as not there were no “other three guys” out by the van. Huey had a deal with me but then went and found another buyer for the paintings—Ms. French, to be exact. Got paid when he visited her at Billy Bank, put the money in a storage locker. When he handed over the paintings was unknown since he didn’t have anything with him when he went to Billy Bank. Usually you move the goodies in a giant portfolio, without frames, of course. These portfolios are big black flat art briefcases. Don’t believe what you see in the movies—no goofball rolls stolen paintings, and if he does he only does it once and eats cold cereal for his effort. Roll an old painting, you mostly end up with a canvas tube full of pretty paint chips. You don’t cut it from the frame, either. Try that when you’re in a hurry and see what you get. Not exactly like slicing a cheesecake, especially with all that oil paint. Easier to skin an elephant. A pro lifts the whole frame, pops the art out later, then deep-sixes the frame even if it is gilded.
Huey ripped me off. Now I needed to squeeze him for my share of whatever money he got. I was in a much more positive place than when I got the e-mail about the sushi. I began to hum Prado’s version of “Peanut Vendor,” a real
I could hardly see the screen, so I stepped off the sidewalk, into a hat store. They still have hat stores in New York, and this one had a lot of the classics, like the ones Sinatra and Dino used to wear. I always liked hats, but they don’t look good on me. I got a big head, and a hat tends to make it look bigger.
“Can I help you, sir?” Behind the counter was a Latina woman with fancy turquoise fingernails and matching pants. The pants were tight either because they were too small or she was too big or most likely some of both. She seemed nice enough. The walls were lined with lighted display cases of hats, mostly what they call fedoras.
So I says, “What do you got that will make me look like Frank Sinatra?”
So she smiles and says, “Why do you want to look like Frank Sinatra? You way more handsome than him. The right hat will make you look even more handsome, quito.”
Nice lady. Smart lady. “Can I try some hats on while I check an e-mail?”
“Summer hat or winter?”
“I guess winter. It’s almost Halloween.”
She looked at me with one eye and wiggled a turquoise fingernail at me. “We’ll try gray and brown hats first.”
She started pulling out hats, and I stood in front of the mirror and scrolled down through the e-mail.
The gray hats seemed a little too formal, but things got more interesting when she got to the brown hats. Things also got more interesting when I scrolled down past Frank and Kootie’s activities to what Huey had been up to:
FRENCH GUY
1000 TO DELI CIGS
1015 SMOKE AND CELL AT BISTRO
1025 BACK INSIDE BISTRO
1300 SMOKE, CELL
1310 BACK TO BISTRO
1505 LEFT BISTRO, WALKS
1520 ARRIVES DOWNTOWN STARBUCKS, COFFEE WITH BIG GUY AND UGLY GUY
1550 LEAVES STARBUCKS, CAR SERVICE, BLUE DIAMOND
1600 BLUE DIAMOND DROP OFF CONFIRMED BILLY BANK
1615 SUBJECT LEAVES BILLY BANK WITH GYM BAG, WALKS
1625 ARRIVES STOR-RITE, 3RD AVENUE
1655 LEAVES STOR-RITE, NO BAG, MEETS RED APPLE CAR SERVICE OUT FRONT
1720 ARRIVES BOND STREET LOFT/APARTMENT GRN BLDG @ UNION
1820 LEAVES BOND STREET LOFT/APARTMENT
1830 ARRIVES RITE AID SMITH / PRESIDENT ST.
1840 LEAVES RITE AID, WALKS
1845 ARRIVES BISTRO
===END===
Reports for Kootie and Frank were boring. They got up late, ate breakfast or ran errands, went to meet Huey, and then went to the restaurants where they work.
Huey’s movements, though—they had me dancing inside. My grandmother and her schnauzer could figure out what Huey was up to. What you like to see when looking into something like this is what they call commonality. Billy Bank was a commonality. Likely as not there were no “other three guys” out by the van. Huey had a deal with me but then went and found another buyer for the paintings—Ms. French, to be exact. Got paid when he visited her at Billy Bank, put the money in a storage locker. When he handed over the paintings was unknown since he didn’t have anything with him when he went to Billy Bank. Usually you move the goodies in a giant portfolio, without frames, of course. These portfolios are big black flat art briefcases. Don’t believe what you see in the movies—no goofball rolls stolen paintings, and if he does he only does it once and eats cold cereal for his effort. Roll an old painting, you mostly end up with a canvas tube full of pretty paint chips. You don’t cut it from the frame, either. Try that when you’re in a hurry and see what you get. Not exactly like slicing a cheesecake, especially with all that oil paint. Easier to skin an elephant. A pro lifts the whole frame, pops the art out later, then deep-sixes the frame even if it is gilded.
Huey ripped me off. Now I needed to squeeze him for my share of whatever money he got. I was in a much more positive place than when I got the e-mail about the sushi. I began to hum Prado’s version of “Peanut Vendor,” a real
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