want to specialize in rape
counselling. I don’t want to see someone else go through the same
thing. So, if I can help you in any way, Grace, please let me.
Whatever you went through, you went through alone. You don’t have
to be alone anymore.’
13
GRACE
I can’t believe what he’s just
said. My heart clenches with pain for him and his sister.
He looks up at me, his gaze
steady. ‘I’ve never told anyone before why Mia killed herself. Even
my parents still don’t know, because she made me promise not to
tell them. I’ve only told you this because it might help you to
talk to someone.’
I want to take away the pain
that’s in his eyes. And I know how crushed and broken he must feel,
because I feel it, too. Every day.
‘You can’t change the past,’ he
says. ‘But you can change what happens in the future. Healing
yourself doesn’t mean the damage never happened. It means the
damage no longer controls your life. You will be OK, Grace. It may
take a bit of time, but you will be OK.’
The way he says I’ll be OK—so
calm, so patient, so full of conviction—makes me believe I can be OK.
‘I want to talk.’ The words slip
out of my mouth before I can stop them. And just like that, my body
betrays me again, except this time I hope it’s for a good
reason.
Once I get it out there, though,
I can’t take it back. I can’t hide anymore. A part of me still
thinks I’m not ready. It’s as if I’m teetering on the edge of a
precipice. One wrong move and I might fall over the edge and never
be able to climb back up. But what he’s told me has given me the
courage to share this with him. I have to talk to someone before I
go completely insane. He’s already seen me in full panic mode, so
it’s not as if I can hide it, and somehow he intuitively knows
what’s happened to me anyway. Why would he have shared that story
with me otherwise? Somehow, this stranger knows exactly what I’m
going through. Maybe it’s because he’s seen a lot of people go
through the same thing with his job.
He patiently waits for me to say
something. I stare into his warm eyes, and somehow I know this is
the right thing to do.
The only thing I can do if I
want to move on.
It’s now or never. I know I’m
not getting better, and this is my one real chance.
I sit opposite him, not quite
believing I’m feeling OK being alone with him in here. I actually
feel comfortable with him. He’s shared his darkest moments with me,
and part of his strength has just seeped into me.
He looks down at the table as if
he’s trying to give me the time I need to start. The thing is, I
don’t know where to start.
The silence stretches out
between us. Footsteps sound in the street outside, commuters
rushing home. Cars drive past the shop. Horns blare. A siren wails
in the distance. And still he sits and waits.
‘I was attacked,’ I finally say
as my finger traces a line along the surface of the table. And now
the words are finally out there, they’ve got a force of their own
and keep coming. I have to get this poison out of me before it
totally destroys me. ‘He was my boyfriend. I was seeing him for two
years, and everything was great at first. At least, I thought so.
Looking back, it probably wasn’t, but…’ I trail off. Maybe I was so
desperate for love, I was trying to find it anywhere. ‘He came in
the shop one day. He was in his last year at uni studying to become
a lawyer. I was so surprised when he was interested in me. Shy,
quiet, naïve Grace, who was a bookworm and worked in a coffee shop.
He chased me from the moment I met him. I was flattered because he
was so confident, intelligent, and charming. He swept me off my
feet, and I fell under his spell, which obviously clouded my
judgement at the time. Before I began to see him for what he was,
it was too late. And maybe it was because I was shy, quiet
Grace that he picked me. I was someone he could dominate and
control, and I was just a stupid idiot looking
counselling. I don’t want to see someone else go through the same
thing. So, if I can help you in any way, Grace, please let me.
Whatever you went through, you went through alone. You don’t have
to be alone anymore.’
13
GRACE
I can’t believe what he’s just
said. My heart clenches with pain for him and his sister.
He looks up at me, his gaze
steady. ‘I’ve never told anyone before why Mia killed herself. Even
my parents still don’t know, because she made me promise not to
tell them. I’ve only told you this because it might help you to
talk to someone.’
I want to take away the pain
that’s in his eyes. And I know how crushed and broken he must feel,
because I feel it, too. Every day.
‘You can’t change the past,’ he
says. ‘But you can change what happens in the future. Healing
yourself doesn’t mean the damage never happened. It means the
damage no longer controls your life. You will be OK, Grace. It may
take a bit of time, but you will be OK.’
The way he says I’ll be OK—so
calm, so patient, so full of conviction—makes me believe I can be OK.
‘I want to talk.’ The words slip
out of my mouth before I can stop them. And just like that, my body
betrays me again, except this time I hope it’s for a good
reason.
Once I get it out there, though,
I can’t take it back. I can’t hide anymore. A part of me still
thinks I’m not ready. It’s as if I’m teetering on the edge of a
precipice. One wrong move and I might fall over the edge and never
be able to climb back up. But what he’s told me has given me the
courage to share this with him. I have to talk to someone before I
go completely insane. He’s already seen me in full panic mode, so
it’s not as if I can hide it, and somehow he intuitively knows
what’s happened to me anyway. Why would he have shared that story
with me otherwise? Somehow, this stranger knows exactly what I’m
going through. Maybe it’s because he’s seen a lot of people go
through the same thing with his job.
He patiently waits for me to say
something. I stare into his warm eyes, and somehow I know this is
the right thing to do.
The only thing I can do if I
want to move on.
It’s now or never. I know I’m
not getting better, and this is my one real chance.
I sit opposite him, not quite
believing I’m feeling OK being alone with him in here. I actually
feel comfortable with him. He’s shared his darkest moments with me,
and part of his strength has just seeped into me.
He looks down at the table as if
he’s trying to give me the time I need to start. The thing is, I
don’t know where to start.
The silence stretches out
between us. Footsteps sound in the street outside, commuters
rushing home. Cars drive past the shop. Horns blare. A siren wails
in the distance. And still he sits and waits.
‘I was attacked,’ I finally say
as my finger traces a line along the surface of the table. And now
the words are finally out there, they’ve got a force of their own
and keep coming. I have to get this poison out of me before it
totally destroys me. ‘He was my boyfriend. I was seeing him for two
years, and everything was great at first. At least, I thought so.
Looking back, it probably wasn’t, but…’ I trail off. Maybe I was so
desperate for love, I was trying to find it anywhere. ‘He came in
the shop one day. He was in his last year at uni studying to become
a lawyer. I was so surprised when he was interested in me. Shy,
quiet, naïve Grace, who was a bookworm and worked in a coffee shop.
He chased me from the moment I met him. I was flattered because he
was so confident, intelligent, and charming. He swept me off my
feet, and I fell under his spell, which obviously clouded my
judgement at the time. Before I began to see him for what he was,
it was too late. And maybe it was because I was shy, quiet
Grace that he picked me. I was someone he could dominate and
control, and I was just a stupid idiot looking
Similar Books
