dangerous breathy drawl. “Merry Christmas.”
“Well, Merry Christmas to you, too,” I said, thinking even a dead guy would sit up for this ripe morsel.
She was grinning and swaying back and forth the way girls do when their whole body is sending you a message. I figured I couldget her panties off in about five minutes. Four, if we left the room. Gentlemen, set your timers.
Mother stepped away on the excuse that she needed to see about her guests. Bullshit. However, at the moment, it seemed to be the only right thing Mother had done in ages. Valerie watched my mother disappear into the throng of guests and then turned back to me in a way that reinforced her intentions, which were obviously to be my date for the evening.
“Your momma said you go to law school at Carolina. What kind of law you gonna practice?” She shifted from foot to foot, which I took to mean that either her shoes were too tight or that she wanted me to get the view from as many angles as possible.
Long blond hair, big blue eyes, perfectly matched orbs, and a gyrating pelvis. It was all I could do not to lick my lips. My best friend began to pulsate and twitch.
“Probably environmental,” I said, trying to focus. “It’s still a pretty new field, but it’s growing. You?”
“Math. I’m still an undergraduate in Athens.”
“Greece?” In that moment, as I gave her my most irresistible grin, Betts’s face flashed across my mind. Guilt. Then the devil reminded me I couldn’t carry that torch every night into eternity. Besides, here was a flagrant opportunity.
“No, silly! Georgia! I’m a Bulldog!”
“You don’t look like a bulldog to me.”
“Oh? What do I look like?” She actually batted her eyes and I actually found it charming.
“Valerie? Is that it? Valerie?”
“Yeah, that’s me, hon.”
“Valerie? You look like the angel on top of my momma’s tree.” I couldn’t believe I’d managed to say that with a straight face.
“Ooooh!” she squealed with delight. “And I’m a thirsty little angel, too!”
“Well then, let’s get you the proper libation to fit this momentous occasion.”
I took her elbow and directed her to the bar in the dining room, thinking she might be excellent fun for a holiday romp. Well, she slammed down three cups of my dad’s eggnog that I knew was half rum or bourbon and then asked me to take her home to her aunt and uncle’s house where she was spending the holidays. Her parents were in Switzerland.
“The house is just a few miles from here, and Lord have mercy on my soul and body, this party’s so boring, isn’t it? I mean, not to be rude, but we are the youngest people here by at least thirty years!”
“The year Mother hired Hawaiian musicians was much worse. I swear.”
Valerie giggled. I took her hand and steered her to the garage as quickly as I could before her virtue returned.
I remember that brief interchange like it happened yesterday, but I couldn’t tell you what we talked about in the car, except that she was pleasant enough and not stupid. However, I recall with crystal clarity what happened when we got to her aunt and uncle’s house.
We drove down quite a long dirt road and the house seemed to appear from nowhere, rising up from the darkness. It was large and white, a classic plantation house with porticos and Corinthian columns strung across the front, much like ours. Happily, no one was home. Things heated up pretty quickly during the requisite house tour. The next thing I knew we were upstairs and on her bed in a guest room. Four minutes, forty-two seconds.
Now, one thing I had learned during my puppy years was that humping was not going to bring about the desired result. So for starters at least, there was none of that. What we did was a lot of groping, slurpy kissing, and fast and furious mutual undressing. The sight of her scantily clad body nearly burned the corneas of my eyes. She was wearing very small red panties and, by necessity, a large
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