Read Online BULLETS by Elijah Drive - Free Book Online Page B

is.”
    “What, the bigoted cop or the Mexican killer, which part?”
    “All of it. Murder? That dude sitting next to me at the diner? I just don’t see it.”
    “Hey, you never know. I knew this one old lady, back when I was in the job in Mississippi, her name was Celia, she was sweetest thing, silver hair, gloves and hat, very proper, went to church three times a week, never said a bad word about anyone, first to volunteer in the community fundraisers, shit like that. I mean, Celia was like the old lady who owned Tweety Bird, you know, the classic Warner Brothers cartoon?
    “Hells yeah. Tweety and Sylvester the cat.”
    “Yeah, she was like that lady, only even sweeter, I shit you not. I used to see her every day on patrol, she’d be going for a walk with her hat and parasol, she always said good morning with a big smile. I even helped her carry groceries home once. Nice and polite as pie. Then she got busted for multiple murders.”
    “Serious? Who?”
    “She was killing her boyfriends off, one at a time. She’d pick an old guy, date him awhile and then knock him off when she got bored. Made it look all natural, too, I mean they were all real old, her boyfriends, so nobody really thought twice about it. She’d slip ’em something in their tea, sometimes she’d push them down the stairs and they’d end up breaking their neck, she varied her method, she was smart about it, which was what made it interesting.
    “Celia got caught when one old fella survived a couple of attempts on his life and called the cops on her. He claimed she once tried to drown him in the tub but he fought her off. She told him she was only playing around, but he didn’t buy it. Later she did something to the basement stairs, set it up so they were broke then asked him to go get something from down there for her.
    “When he went down, he crashed through, fell about ten feet and broke his hip. Swore she set him up. She claimed he was senile and that she never asked him to go to the basement in the first place. Cops believed her, hell, I believed her, I mean the old fucker claimed that she tried to drown him the week before, so why the hell did he stick around after that?”
    “Yeah, what was that about?”
    “I asked him about that later, he said he just couldn’t bring himself to leave her because she was a fucking tiger in the sack, completely unbelievable in bed. Best he ever had—he’d had a lot of it over the years, or so he said. And he supplied plenty of graphic details, too. Leather, whips, ice cream, the works.”
    “Ah man, now I’m sorry I asked.”
    “Hey man, older women, beautiful lovers, et cetera, et cetera. Anyway, most of the department thought it was all a joke, we all knew Celia and loved her, I mean she was literally the nicest lady ever, but we had this homicide guy, Danny, smart bastard, he smelled something wrong with it, I don’t know why, he just didn’t like her.
    “Danny did some research and it turned out that thirteen men, all senior citizens, had died soon after meeting and dating Celia. All in the past eight years. All the deaths seemed natural or accidental, but it turned out they weren’t. Danny got permission from family members, dug up a couple of the corpses, had some tests done and found that at least one had been poisoned, another smothered with a pillow.”
    “Holy shit.”
    “Holy shit is right. Danny got a warrant, went through her house and found three more bodies buried in the basement, not really bodies but bones. Never identified who they were. And when she was arrested and confronted with all the evidence, she just looked at us, smiled and said, ‘Yeah, so?’”
    “Whoa. She ever say anything else?”
    “Danny asked her, when he had her in the box, if she thought she was putting them out of their misery, as an act of mercy. He was actually trying to help set up an insanity defense for her, he thought she was crazy and, well, we all did. We were all shocked by it. He asked