looking at Theo. “You like it here?”
“No. But I wanted to impress you with how mainstream I was.”
“Right.”
“Actually, I'm a burger junky I LOVE Arnie's burgers. Live on ‘em if I could.”
I smiled, flirting. I didn't even know I knew how to flirt. “So the real anarchist comes out.”
He leaned back, stretching. “You know me. I'll stand up for any cause if it's easy, fun, and irritating to people. Principles get in the way of hedonism and personal pleasure.”
Velveeta took the top bun from his burger, dug in his pocket, brought out a crumpled ball of tinfoil, opened it, took a chunk of warm, oily yellow cheese from it, plopped it on top of the cheese already there, and squished the bun back on. Theo and I stared. Then he opened his mouth wider than I thought humanly possible and took a bite. He chewed a few times, then looked at us, mayonnaise gathered at the corners of his mouth. “What's hedonism?”
Theo gaped at him. “What the fuck? Jesus, man, was that cheese?”
Cheeks stuffed with burger, Velveeta frowned. A piece of lettuce stuck to his teeth. “Yeah. Had some left from lunch.” He set the burger down, taking the lid off again and picking up the remaining part of the chunk. Mayonnaise and lettuce coated it. “Want some? It's good.”
I laughed into my fries, getting a kick out of Theo's expression. “He likes cheese.”
Theo smiled. “There's a difference between liking and a fetish, dude.”
Velveeta looked at the chunk of cheese in his hand, then put it on the paper beside the burger.
Theo frowned. “Dude, just put it back on. I was joking.”
Velveeta put the lid back on his burger, keeping his eyes down. “Naw. I was just joking, too.”
Theo looked at me apologetically, shrugged, then took a bite. “Hedonism means pure pleasure,” he said.
Velveeta smiled again, back on track. “I heard of that. Like in the
Girls Gone Wild
videos. They got all kinds of hedonism going on.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“Girls Gone Wild?”
“Yep. Got the whole collection. You can order ‘em from the TV. Nothin’ but a big old party all the time with girls in their bathing suits. Lotsa lesbos, too. You seen them, Theo?”
He smiled, glancing at me, then looking away. “Part of one. The ads are on all the time.”
A moment of awkward silence followed before Velveeta looked around the restaurant, craning his neck from side to side. “You ever seen hooters before?”
We stared at him.
He nodded to himself, still looking around. “This place is sorta like that. ‘Cept there's no girl waitresses and they don't have uniforms like that. Those red shorts and tank top things.”
I breathed, and Theo laughed. “Yeah, I've been to Hooters. Last summer in LA.”
“You can order triple cheese on anything you want, and the hooter girls smile at you no matter what you look like.
Part of the job, I guess, on account of Mr. Hooter, probably. My dad told me it was good customer service.”
The bell over the front door chimed, and three girls walked to the counter. One wore a cheerleader outfit, and the other two could have been glam twin rejects from that show
Malibu
that MTV vomited out weekly. Velveeta looked at them, the smile disappearing from his face as his eyes went to his lap. He shrank down a little bit. I frowned. “Who are they?”
Theo looked, then shook his head at me, mouthing “no.” Velveeta kept his eyes on his lap. Theo drank the rest of his pop. “Let's skate, huh? I'm done.”
I looked at his half-eaten burger, then at Velveeta's, then at the girls in line. Theo frowned. “Let's go.”
Velveeta rose, and I did, too. Theo led the way, and as we passed behind the Cosmo twins, they looked at Velveeta and laughed. In another few seconds, we were outside. Velveeta walked four or five steps ahead of us. I walked beside Theo. “Who were they?”
“The one in the cheerleader outfit was Anna Conrad.”
I frowned, out of the loop. Then I remembered. The note. She'd
“No. But I wanted to impress you with how mainstream I was.”
“Right.”
“Actually, I'm a burger junky I LOVE Arnie's burgers. Live on ‘em if I could.”
I smiled, flirting. I didn't even know I knew how to flirt. “So the real anarchist comes out.”
He leaned back, stretching. “You know me. I'll stand up for any cause if it's easy, fun, and irritating to people. Principles get in the way of hedonism and personal pleasure.”
Velveeta took the top bun from his burger, dug in his pocket, brought out a crumpled ball of tinfoil, opened it, took a chunk of warm, oily yellow cheese from it, plopped it on top of the cheese already there, and squished the bun back on. Theo and I stared. Then he opened his mouth wider than I thought humanly possible and took a bite. He chewed a few times, then looked at us, mayonnaise gathered at the corners of his mouth. “What's hedonism?”
Theo gaped at him. “What the fuck? Jesus, man, was that cheese?”
Cheeks stuffed with burger, Velveeta frowned. A piece of lettuce stuck to his teeth. “Yeah. Had some left from lunch.” He set the burger down, taking the lid off again and picking up the remaining part of the chunk. Mayonnaise and lettuce coated it. “Want some? It's good.”
I laughed into my fries, getting a kick out of Theo's expression. “He likes cheese.”
Theo smiled. “There's a difference between liking and a fetish, dude.”
Velveeta looked at the chunk of cheese in his hand, then put it on the paper beside the burger.
Theo frowned. “Dude, just put it back on. I was joking.”
Velveeta put the lid back on his burger, keeping his eyes down. “Naw. I was just joking, too.”
Theo looked at me apologetically, shrugged, then took a bite. “Hedonism means pure pleasure,” he said.
Velveeta smiled again, back on track. “I heard of that. Like in the
Girls Gone Wild
videos. They got all kinds of hedonism going on.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“Girls Gone Wild?”
“Yep. Got the whole collection. You can order ‘em from the TV. Nothin’ but a big old party all the time with girls in their bathing suits. Lotsa lesbos, too. You seen them, Theo?”
He smiled, glancing at me, then looking away. “Part of one. The ads are on all the time.”
A moment of awkward silence followed before Velveeta looked around the restaurant, craning his neck from side to side. “You ever seen hooters before?”
We stared at him.
He nodded to himself, still looking around. “This place is sorta like that. ‘Cept there's no girl waitresses and they don't have uniforms like that. Those red shorts and tank top things.”
I breathed, and Theo laughed. “Yeah, I've been to Hooters. Last summer in LA.”
“You can order triple cheese on anything you want, and the hooter girls smile at you no matter what you look like.
Part of the job, I guess, on account of Mr. Hooter, probably. My dad told me it was good customer service.”
The bell over the front door chimed, and three girls walked to the counter. One wore a cheerleader outfit, and the other two could have been glam twin rejects from that show
Malibu
that MTV vomited out weekly. Velveeta looked at them, the smile disappearing from his face as his eyes went to his lap. He shrank down a little bit. I frowned. “Who are they?”
Theo looked, then shook his head at me, mouthing “no.” Velveeta kept his eyes on his lap. Theo drank the rest of his pop. “Let's skate, huh? I'm done.”
I looked at his half-eaten burger, then at Velveeta's, then at the girls in line. Theo frowned. “Let's go.”
Velveeta rose, and I did, too. Theo led the way, and as we passed behind the Cosmo twins, they looked at Velveeta and laughed. In another few seconds, we were outside. Velveeta walked four or five steps ahead of us. I walked beside Theo. “Who were they?”
“The one in the cheerleader outfit was Anna Conrad.”
I frowned, out of the loop. Then I remembered. The note. She'd
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