Read Online Broken Skin by Stuart MacBride - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Stuart MacBride
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the camera, the lights, and then the small cluster of people huddling round a script, 'when does the shagging start?'
A spray of coffee exploded from Zander's lips. 'Shh!' He grabbed Steel by the arm and led her away. 'We're shooting a safety training course, OK? I don't want my client finding out I do adult films on the side.'
'No' proud of them, eh? I can understand that: I've seen one.' She hauled out the James Bondage DVD.
'Actually,' said Zander, straightening up to his full height, which had to be at least six three, 'my films have won awards all over Europe, thank you very much. I just like to keep my businesses separate.'
'Worried your client's going to ditch you if he knows you do stuff about nuns buggering secret agents?'
He scowled, looking more petulant than angry. 'You said you wanted to see me.'
'Oh, aye.' She held the DVD up again. 'This bloke, Dick Longlay: who is he?'
Zander took the case off her and squinted at it. 'Jason,' he said at last. 'Jason Fettes, I gave him his big break.'
'Spit-roasting a nun?'
'Look, do you have a problem with something? Erotic films too "real" for you? Just because you've never had sex in your life it doesn't mean--'
Logan cut him off before things got ugly. 'When did you last see Mr Fettes?'
The large man treated Steel to a scowl, then turned his back on her. 'A couple of weeks ago: had to get him in to do some foley work on his last film. Bloody sound was appalling.' He waved at a cadaverous man with a boom mike and a bored expression. 'I swear to God I'm going to fire his skinny arse if he doesn't pull his socks up.'
'Jason.'
'Oh, right, right. Yeah, I use him quite a bit. He was in James Bondage , the sequel: From Rubber With Love , a couple about a plumber - well, you have to, don't you? It's tradition. Harriet Potter and the Chamber of Filth, Jamie and the Magic Crotch , and, of course, Crocodildo Dundee . I won the XRCO Best Film for that.' Glowing with pride. 'In fact, he's going to be in my new one too: Down-Hole Tools . It's about this accident investigator who goes offshore, only to discover that Amazonian Viking women have come back from the past and are making all the guys on the rig have sex with them until they die! It's going to be huge.'
'I see...' said Logan, trying to keep a straight face. 'And do you have an address for Jason?'
'Not on me ....' Frown. 'Cults I think ... No, wait, he's just moved. Blackburn. His mum and dad bought one of those new houses.'
Logan tried not to swear.
'So are you telling me,' said Steel, twisting round in the passenger seat so she could glare at Logan in the back, 'that you daft buggers were at the guy's address yesterday morning and didn't say anything?'
Up front, Rickards went bright red, but kept his eyes on the road and his mouth shut. So it was down to Logan. 'It's not our fault! The woman wasn't even sure she recognized him! And anyway, what was all that about back there? You didn't have to antagonize him.'
'Aye, well,' Steel shrugged, 'I was all fired up to see some steamy, explicit sex, instead of which they're all buggering about with bloody forklift trucks.' She turned back to face the front. 'Besides, he shouldn't have been such a big fat bastard: reminded me of Grumpy Insch.'
The blue sky was a thing of the past by the time they arrived at the housing development. A pall of grey-purple cloud hung overhead, a cold wind whipping through the half-built houses, their roof joists sticking out like ribs picked clean of meat. 'Bloody hell, it's freezing!' said Steel, clambering out of the car and onto the dusty road. 'Rickards: go find out if the neighbour's seen Jason Big Dick since Monday - We'll look like a right bunch of tits if it's not him.'
As the constable scurried off next door, Steel lit a cigarette, stuck her hands deep in her pockets and trudged up the path to the silent house.
The place was just as deserted and locked up as last time, but the inspector insisted on peering in every window,
A spray of coffee exploded from Zander's lips. 'Shh!' He grabbed Steel by the arm and led her away. 'We're shooting a safety training course, OK? I don't want my client finding out I do adult films on the side.'
'No' proud of them, eh? I can understand that: I've seen one.' She hauled out the James Bondage DVD.
'Actually,' said Zander, straightening up to his full height, which had to be at least six three, 'my films have won awards all over Europe, thank you very much. I just like to keep my businesses separate.'
'Worried your client's going to ditch you if he knows you do stuff about nuns buggering secret agents?'
He scowled, looking more petulant than angry. 'You said you wanted to see me.'
'Oh, aye.' She held the DVD up again. 'This bloke, Dick Longlay: who is he?'
Zander took the case off her and squinted at it. 'Jason,' he said at last. 'Jason Fettes, I gave him his big break.'
'Spit-roasting a nun?'
'Look, do you have a problem with something? Erotic films too "real" for you? Just because you've never had sex in your life it doesn't mean--'
Logan cut him off before things got ugly. 'When did you last see Mr Fettes?'
The large man treated Steel to a scowl, then turned his back on her. 'A couple of weeks ago: had to get him in to do some foley work on his last film. Bloody sound was appalling.' He waved at a cadaverous man with a boom mike and a bored expression. 'I swear to God I'm going to fire his skinny arse if he doesn't pull his socks up.'
'Jason.'
'Oh, right, right. Yeah, I use him quite a bit. He was in James Bondage , the sequel: From Rubber With Love , a couple about a plumber - well, you have to, don't you? It's tradition. Harriet Potter and the Chamber of Filth, Jamie and the Magic Crotch , and, of course, Crocodildo Dundee . I won the XRCO Best Film for that.' Glowing with pride. 'In fact, he's going to be in my new one too: Down-Hole Tools . It's about this accident investigator who goes offshore, only to discover that Amazonian Viking women have come back from the past and are making all the guys on the rig have sex with them until they die! It's going to be huge.'
'I see...' said Logan, trying to keep a straight face. 'And do you have an address for Jason?'
'Not on me ....' Frown. 'Cults I think ... No, wait, he's just moved. Blackburn. His mum and dad bought one of those new houses.'
Logan tried not to swear.
'So are you telling me,' said Steel, twisting round in the passenger seat so she could glare at Logan in the back, 'that you daft buggers were at the guy's address yesterday morning and didn't say anything?'
Up front, Rickards went bright red, but kept his eyes on the road and his mouth shut. So it was down to Logan. 'It's not our fault! The woman wasn't even sure she recognized him! And anyway, what was all that about back there? You didn't have to antagonize him.'
'Aye, well,' Steel shrugged, 'I was all fired up to see some steamy, explicit sex, instead of which they're all buggering about with bloody forklift trucks.' She turned back to face the front. 'Besides, he shouldn't have been such a big fat bastard: reminded me of Grumpy Insch.'
The blue sky was a thing of the past by the time they arrived at the housing development. A pall of grey-purple cloud hung overhead, a cold wind whipping through the half-built houses, their roof joists sticking out like ribs picked clean of meat. 'Bloody hell, it's freezing!' said Steel, clambering out of the car and onto the dusty road. 'Rickards: go find out if the neighbour's seen Jason Big Dick since Monday - We'll look like a right bunch of tits if it's not him.'
As the constable scurried off next door, Steel lit a cigarette, stuck her hands deep in her pockets and trudged up the path to the silent house.
The place was just as deserted and locked up as last time, but the inspector insisted on peering in every window,
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