Read Online Broken by Stella Noir, Aria Frost - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Stella Noir, Aria Frost
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to get away, be prepared for that. I heard so many excuses I couldn’t have made them up myself.”
Her attacker got six years for what he did. He was convicted of two counts of rape, the nine other charges reduced to either sexual assault or thrown out completely. On appeal, his sentence was reduced to three years, and after serving only a year and a half of his sentence, he was let out for good behaviour. He still lives in the area, you can look him up on the sexual offenders register for Pittsburgh.
“Sometimes I wonder if our system is enough, you know? We talk about how we feel and what we’re going to do to rebuild our lives and shit like that, but we never seem to talk about how we’re gonna get justice for what happened. You think a year is justice enough for what he did to me and all those other girls? Hell, no. Whereas here I am, over two years later, and I’m still just as fucked up as I was the day after it happened. I can’t get a relationship, I lost my job and I can’t get another one, I’m on medication, I can’t sleep, I have bad dreams, I still can’t go out at night on my own, and on top of all of that, I’ve got to think about what I’ll do if I ever bump into that sonofabitch in the street.”
“You’ve got us”, Katy reminds her, and takes her hand to give it a squeeze. Patricia smiles timidly.
“Yeah”, she says. “You lot have been my rocks this last few months.”
Later, when the session is over, she comes over and apologizes to me. “I didn’t want to make you feel bad, I realized after saying it I might have given you the chills.”
I tell her it’s ok, that I’d prefer her to be honest.
“Just make sure you got people around you to support you”, she says, giving my hand a squeeze now in the same way Katy had done to her earlier. “We all gotta stick together.”
I walk to the intersection thinking about Ethan. I hope he’s ok, wherever he is. The more I think about him, the less I find I have to think about myself. The clock is ticking. Christmas will come and go in a heartbeat, and then it’ll be upon me. January 26. Doomsday. The day I face my attacker.
Part Two.
Chapter Twenty
Jo
2 December 2015. Sixty six days after.
Christmas is coming. Snowmen and tacky lights and fucking platitudes. Although we haven’t got snow yet, it’s forecast to hit before the end of the year. I can sense the approach of it at work. The winding down before the clock begins again. It’s a time of contradictions, where despite awful weather, severe lack of sunlight, and pressure to conform, people seem happier, more cheerful, more human. People dress up, take themselves less seriously, are more inclined to help others. It’s literally the season of goodwill.
I feel like shit today. Christmas exists everywhere except my own apartment. My own head. I miss my old life. The one before all of this began. My clock started again sixty six days ago, and it feels like I’ll never be able to pass a day without thinking about him.
I hope Ethan is at the next group session. We don’t have many more before the Christmas break. And after Christmas, everyone knows what happens. Depression, debt and standing up in front of him. I’m not ready.
Chapter Twenty One
Ethan
3 December 2015. Eighty one days after.
James William Cutler is not the man that murdered my wife. Nor is Joseph Bekele or Aaron Tate. These men are all guilty of their own crimes, but they are not guilty of what happened to Alice. The search for that man continues. I have a list and I’m working my way through it methodically. Doing Cutler was difficult, but I know it will only get easier. I’m on a mission now, and with each man I take off the list, I know I only get closer to completing it.
“Ethan?”
I turn my head to my name, more slowly than I intend to.
“Ethan?”
“Hi”, I say, the smile spreading across my face a genuine one.
“It’s Jo, you know, from the group. How’s it going?”
“Hey, Jo”,
Her attacker got six years for what he did. He was convicted of two counts of rape, the nine other charges reduced to either sexual assault or thrown out completely. On appeal, his sentence was reduced to three years, and after serving only a year and a half of his sentence, he was let out for good behaviour. He still lives in the area, you can look him up on the sexual offenders register for Pittsburgh.
“Sometimes I wonder if our system is enough, you know? We talk about how we feel and what we’re going to do to rebuild our lives and shit like that, but we never seem to talk about how we’re gonna get justice for what happened. You think a year is justice enough for what he did to me and all those other girls? Hell, no. Whereas here I am, over two years later, and I’m still just as fucked up as I was the day after it happened. I can’t get a relationship, I lost my job and I can’t get another one, I’m on medication, I can’t sleep, I have bad dreams, I still can’t go out at night on my own, and on top of all of that, I’ve got to think about what I’ll do if I ever bump into that sonofabitch in the street.”
“You’ve got us”, Katy reminds her, and takes her hand to give it a squeeze. Patricia smiles timidly.
“Yeah”, she says. “You lot have been my rocks this last few months.”
Later, when the session is over, she comes over and apologizes to me. “I didn’t want to make you feel bad, I realized after saying it I might have given you the chills.”
I tell her it’s ok, that I’d prefer her to be honest.
“Just make sure you got people around you to support you”, she says, giving my hand a squeeze now in the same way Katy had done to her earlier. “We all gotta stick together.”
I walk to the intersection thinking about Ethan. I hope he’s ok, wherever he is. The more I think about him, the less I find I have to think about myself. The clock is ticking. Christmas will come and go in a heartbeat, and then it’ll be upon me. January 26. Doomsday. The day I face my attacker.
Part Two.
Chapter Twenty
Jo
2 December 2015. Sixty six days after.
Christmas is coming. Snowmen and tacky lights and fucking platitudes. Although we haven’t got snow yet, it’s forecast to hit before the end of the year. I can sense the approach of it at work. The winding down before the clock begins again. It’s a time of contradictions, where despite awful weather, severe lack of sunlight, and pressure to conform, people seem happier, more cheerful, more human. People dress up, take themselves less seriously, are more inclined to help others. It’s literally the season of goodwill.
I feel like shit today. Christmas exists everywhere except my own apartment. My own head. I miss my old life. The one before all of this began. My clock started again sixty six days ago, and it feels like I’ll never be able to pass a day without thinking about him.
I hope Ethan is at the next group session. We don’t have many more before the Christmas break. And after Christmas, everyone knows what happens. Depression, debt and standing up in front of him. I’m not ready.
Chapter Twenty One
Ethan
3 December 2015. Eighty one days after.
James William Cutler is not the man that murdered my wife. Nor is Joseph Bekele or Aaron Tate. These men are all guilty of their own crimes, but they are not guilty of what happened to Alice. The search for that man continues. I have a list and I’m working my way through it methodically. Doing Cutler was difficult, but I know it will only get easier. I’m on a mission now, and with each man I take off the list, I know I only get closer to completing it.
“Ethan?”
I turn my head to my name, more slowly than I intend to.
“Ethan?”
“Hi”, I say, the smile spreading across my face a genuine one.
“It’s Jo, you know, from the group. How’s it going?”
“Hey, Jo”,
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